Two eternal truths about women: 1) they dearly want continual attention and affection, and 2) women never stop complaining. You could be banking Fort Knox, and freed up 95% your time by outsourcing your IM, and she'll still gripe about the 5% of time you still reserve for BHW, or something else not-her. Perhaps you should avoid a problem by encouraging her to schedule "she-time" where she can do her own thing without you being in the picture, then use that time to do your IM. Then ignoring her will have the cover of you trying to respect her independent time, instead of merely ignoring her.