Modern programming - crazy nonsense

What is all this for? More suffering? Maybe that's the point.



Take a random keyword, e.g. "microservices", "containerization", "serverless"

Fuck some trendy framework, React, Vue, whatever

Throw in something about CI/CD, because that always sounds smart

Don't forget some shit from Google or Amazon to make it enterprise

Fuck Agile and Scrum there, because without it you won't get anywhere

Finally, fuck something about scalability and performance

And voila! You have a ready-made "good practice" that you can push to junior devs. They will swallow like young pelicans.

Example:

"Microservices based on React with a serverless backend, implemented via CI/CD pipeline in Google Cloud, managed in Scrum sprints, ensuring high scalability and performance."

What the fuck does that mean? But hey, it sounds professional! Next ones:

"Event-driven architecture with Kafka, implemented in Golang, hosted on Kubernetes, with Prometheus and Grafana monitoring."

"Serverless functions in AWS Lambda, connected to GraphQL API, using DynamoDB, with CI/CD via GitLab pipelines."

"Microfrontends in Vue.js, integrated by Web Components, with backend in Node.js and MongoDB, implemented by Docker Swarm."

"Progressive Web App with an offline-first approach, using Service Workers and IndexedDB, hosted on Firebase, with A/B testing."

"Edge computing with Cloudflare Workers, integrated with CDN, using WASM for high-performance computing, with TensorFlow.js for ML on the front end."

"Reactive programming with RxJS, backpressure handling via Akka streams, with event sourcing and CQRS patterns, hosted on DigitalOcean."

"Blockchain-based smart contracts with Solidity, frontend in React Native, backend in Rust, with sharding for better scalability."

"Serverless architecture with Azure Functions, real-time communication via SignalR, CI/CD via Azure DevOps, with blue-green deployments."

"Microservices in Spring Boot, communication via gRPC, service mesh with Istio, observability via OpenTelemetry, hosted on GKE."

"Jamstack architecture with Next.js and Netlify, headless CMS, server-side rendering, with feature flagging and canary releases."

Independent thinking is a lost art nowadays. And that's a pity, because it is what leads to real innovations.

And all I wanted was a WordPress site .. Hmm .. @Gogol Heeeeeeeelp.
 
They should check old school programmers who really made creative programs and knew how to deploy independent instances without oop. You can do that with procedural or anything else without all the bloat and complication while having control of what you would like to have. Guru programmers can make you successful too but not in terms of understanding.
indeed i only use OOP if i really have to, i stick with functional programming since the 90s. thats why i love C (thanks dennis ritchie!), its the most beautiful language without all the bloat and no OOP.. well you could still use it, but you don't need it.
 
Jquery is fantastic. I wasn’t really around the days of react but I got to use it a couple times and omg is it worse than what we had before. Installing random package based off random unverified packages is awful. Writing a big app means a huge file of spaghetti code. Jquery is actually readable and maintainable.
No arguments got it. That’s how you tell a junior from an experienced dev.
 
indeed i only use OOP if i really have to, i stick with functional programming since the 90s. thats why i love C (thanks dennis ritchie!), its the most beautiful language without all the bloat and no OOP.. well you could still use it, but you don't need it.
Classes and their constructors are pointless in many projects. It makes sense in very few cases. With classes put in every place spaghetti is inevitable at one point with containers and injecting them everywhere it takes hours to make changes to code. Uncle Bob is as much of a liar as websites with code katas. Start coding with C and if it's hard, there's only one way to understand computers inner workings.

When we look at Uncle Bob works it's mostly C++, Java, Agile, UML. It's all very complicated and books of that guy are recommended to beginners, but who needs all of that in the beginning? I think such a person won't be able to focus on delivery and will get lost in all that becoming a weak engineer.
 
It's for investors, not for you. All your examples and your guide to "create a tech stack" is buzzwords for investors.

You also forgot "ai-driven" and "built on the blockchain".

For maximum memes, I'm just gonna throw in my personal tech stack that outperforms all of yours mentioned:

"Just use Python 4Head"
 
What is all this for? More suffering? Maybe that's the point.



Take a random keyword, e.g. "microservices", "containerization", "serverless"

Fuck some trendy framework, React, Vue, whatever

Throw in something about CI/CD, because that always sounds smart

Don't forget some shit from Google or Amazon to make it enterprise

Fuck Agile and Scrum there, because without it you won't get anywhere

Finally, fuck something about scalability and performance

And voila! You have a ready-made "good practice" that you can push to junior devs. They will swallow like young pelicans.

Example:

"Microservices based on React with a serverless backend, implemented via CI/CD pipeline in Google Cloud, managed in Scrum sprints, ensuring high scalability and performance."

What the fuck does that mean? But hey, it sounds professional! Next ones:

"Event-driven architecture with Kafka, implemented in Golang, hosted on Kubernetes, with Prometheus and Grafana monitoring."

"Serverless functions in AWS Lambda, connected to GraphQL API, using DynamoDB, with CI/CD via GitLab pipelines."

"Microfrontends in Vue.js, integrated by Web Components, with backend in Node.js and MongoDB, implemented by Docker Swarm."

"Progressive Web App with an offline-first approach, using Service Workers and IndexedDB, hosted on Firebase, with A/B testing."

"Edge computing with Cloudflare Workers, integrated with CDN, using WASM for high-performance computing, with TensorFlow.js for ML on the front end."

"Reactive programming with RxJS, backpressure handling via Akka streams, with event sourcing and CQRS patterns, hosted on DigitalOcean."

"Blockchain-based smart contracts with Solidity, frontend in React Native, backend in Rust, with sharding for better scalability."

"Serverless architecture with Azure Functions, real-time communication via SignalR, CI/CD via Azure DevOps, with blue-green deployments."

"Microservices in Spring Boot, communication via gRPC, service mesh with Istio, observability via OpenTelemetry, hosted on GKE."

"Jamstack architecture with Next.js and Netlify, headless CMS, server-side rendering, with feature flagging and canary releases."

Independent thinking is a lost art nowadays. And that's a pity, because it is what leads to real innovations.
It is not possible to find a job without all of this *rap. I am a developer without one hour of working hours in a company.
 
Most of the things you listed are advances in programming and while not necessary they help maintaining projects.
For example microservices allow you to encapsulate different functionalities in different pieces of software and that way everything is much easier to maintain, it saves money to the owner and headaches to the devs that can specialize in programs that do only one task but they do it great.

React is just a framework, do you want to write in plain js, css, html? Will you use the horse to go everywhere because "cars are unnecessary"?
It saves time, that's why we use it.
Pipelines help to automate everything, testing to have your master branch healthy and ensure that the production branch doesn't go wild, it also allows automating the execution of whatever business the software is for.

And I could go listing all those elements but if you are a software dev you should research and learn them.

I think you are right about corporations using buzzwords to look fancy all the time, but most of the things you mentioned are actually important.
 
If there was anything remotely meaningful about the latest and greatest framework/library/tool, etc. then it would be here to stay. But that's never the case because they're CONSTANTLY being replaced with said "later and greater" version.

Also the whole mindset of using libraries is wrong in itself, because in the general sense, nothing is separable. Yet libraries assume generally that things are modular.
Sure, you could slap together a bunch of random assets in Unity to make an FPS, but nothing is cohesive, nothing is aware, and nothing interacts with another thing.

And this describes modern-day software. Nowadays it's not about choosing the optimal solution for said case, it's about choosing a one size fits all approach... And it's disturbing that people embrace the "design principles" associated with it. It's done nothing but destroy software culture as a whole.

tl;dr
Software culture is dead.
 
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