- Apr 4, 2009
- 13,911
- 71,093
What is all this for? More suffering? Maybe that's the point.
Take a random keyword, e.g. "microservices", "containerization", "serverless"
Fuck some trendy framework, React, Vue, whatever
Throw in something about CI/CD, because that always sounds smart
Don't forget some shit from Google or Amazon to make it enterprise
Fuck Agile and Scrum there, because without it you won't get anywhere
Finally, fuck something about scalability and performance
And voila! You have a ready-made "good practice" that you can push to junior devs. They will swallow like young pelicans.
Example:
"Microservices based on React with a serverless backend, implemented via CI/CD pipeline in Google Cloud, managed in Scrum sprints, ensuring high scalability and performance."
What the fuck does that mean? But hey, it sounds professional! Next ones:
"Event-driven architecture with Kafka, implemented in Golang, hosted on Kubernetes, with Prometheus and Grafana monitoring."
"Serverless functions in AWS Lambda, connected to GraphQL API, using DynamoDB, with CI/CD via GitLab pipelines."
"Microfrontends in Vue.js, integrated by Web Components, with backend in Node.js and MongoDB, implemented by Docker Swarm."
"Progressive Web App with an offline-first approach, using Service Workers and IndexedDB, hosted on Firebase, with A/B testing."
"Edge computing with Cloudflare Workers, integrated with CDN, using WASM for high-performance computing, with TensorFlow.js for ML on the front end."
"Reactive programming with RxJS, backpressure handling via Akka streams, with event sourcing and CQRS patterns, hosted on DigitalOcean."
"Blockchain-based smart contracts with Solidity, frontend in React Native, backend in Rust, with sharding for better scalability."
"Serverless architecture with Azure Functions, real-time communication via SignalR, CI/CD via Azure DevOps, with blue-green deployments."
"Microservices in Spring Boot, communication via gRPC, service mesh with Istio, observability via OpenTelemetry, hosted on GKE."
"Jamstack architecture with Next.js and Netlify, headless CMS, server-side rendering, with feature flagging and canary releases."
Independent thinking is a lost art nowadays. And that's a pity, because it is what leads to real innovations.
And all I wanted was a WordPress site .. Hmm .. @Gogol Heeeeeeeelp.