* Love me for who I am! *

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much.

And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her.

We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets
get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited.

She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,

"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...but at least that bitch
knows I'm smarter than her.

I would say it was funny if I wouldn't find it cruel

But I guess she got what she deserved. I can't stand women waiting for someone else to pay for them.

I've heard this one before but it still makes me laugh.

This is a joke money can't buy. LOL

This is some shit that really happens. Been there, done that. haha

This is one of the jokes that will probably never get old

Tsk tsk. This is why you must apply the cheeseburger rule.

If it costs more than a cheeseburger to get her in bed the first time, she's too high maintenance. Desperation is sexy. That's why I like fat ugly girls. They try harder and actually APPRECIATE the cheeseburger and the attention.

Wow - we all have different emotional needs
that are at the very fabric of our nature, soul,
and the core of our being.

I can honestly see both the male vs female perspective
she wanted to know she was loved for something other
than sex, and at the same time if you are a man with a
woman that just wants to be taken care of, then you are
in for an emotional roller coaster.

It's about physical, emotional, spiritual, sexual, and
even financial balance.

The cheeseburger rule? I can't even comment on that one.

Zeprokon

scubaslick said:

That's why I like fat ugly girls.

Click to expand...

Are you sure?

You like fat ugly girls?

As for the joke, its absolutely priceless. The funny thing is that its so damn true!

lol man, that's a good writing,lol...