I'm a new member here, but have been a lurker for quite some time. I did an intro. thread and got a lot of friendly welcomes (=. I did say I was dealing with personal problems, but decided to elaborate and talk about it, because talking about it helps. I got enrolled in an accounting program at a good university, but have taken time off because I just could not do it for the time being. I've been in real bad chronic back pain, neck pain, herniated discs, pinched nerves, and am In pain from the second I wake up to the second I go to sleep. I don't want to give the wrong impression here, I'm not looking for sympathy, but simply thought I'd elaborate what I said in my intro. thread. Physical pain eventually will manifest itself as psychological pain if you deal with it for years on end (depression?). Over the years I have come to realize what exaggerates the pain, what to avoid doing, so on and so forth. Essential how to better cope with it. I am still trying to figure out how to over come it. As I now have time on my hands, I have made it a goal of mine to learn the IM. game. The last 'thing' I taught myself I had no idea about, joined a forum, talked to other and learned. I jumped in with both feet, made mistakes and learned even more! I don't want to say Before I left (since I still visit the forums from time to time), but eventually over the course of two+ years I put myself in the position to be the one who answered others questions - To share my experiences and what I learned, I became the person I used to reach out to. I realized that you can learn/teach yourself anything you want/put your mind to, and that is exactly what I plan to do here! (= And finally the relationship advice part - My friend of 5+ years, we have not been talking as much and we used to hang out very often. I just can't do a lot right now, things like going to the movies, to a restaurant, even sitting on a sofa I am not comfortable with (will aggravate my back greatly!). I've explained this to this person before, what I'm dealing with and the pain I'm in. They said they understood, yet I did not even get a happy birthday message when my birthday past. (It is on a certain day that one would not really forget, such as if your best friends birthday was on new years eve, you'd know it's new years but you'd know its your best friends birthday.) I don't know if I should continue to explain and try to replenish the relationship, or just to let it be. If I try to message just to talk, theres always this expectation that it is an invitation to hang out. If I give the invitation to come hang out for a LITTLE bit, it becomes a 6+ hour visit and I can't go back home, I forgot my keys, and as much as I enjoy the ability to hang out I simply can not physically entertain anyone that long right now. Either way, I am focused on me right now. I need to find a way to over-come my problems. And I have goals which I will be attaining!