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Learn English Here

Discussion in 'Associated Content & Writing Articles' started by steelballs, Sep 29, 2013.

  1. steelballs

    steelballs BANNED BANNED

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    Learn English Here

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    I am born ? bred and educated in England hence my first language is English.

    But hey I am still learning English because when you get past ? ?street talk? the first 1000 words plus it can and does get very complex and complicated.

    I surfed across this?

    We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
    but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
    One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
    yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
    You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
    yet the plural of House is houses, not hice.
    If the plural of man is always called men,
    why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
    If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet
    and I give you a boot, Would a pair be called beet?
    If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
    why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
    Then one may be that, and three would be those,
    yet hat in the plural would never be hose
    and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
    We speak of a brother and also of brethren
    but though we say mother, we never say methren.
    Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him
    but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

    Some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English
    1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
    2) The farm was used to produce produce.
    3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
    4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
    5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
    6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
    7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
    8) At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
    9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
    10) I did not object to the object.
    11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
    12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
    13) They were too close to the door to close it.
    14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
    15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
    16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
    17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
    18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
    19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
    20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
    21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
    22) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

    Attribution source unknown?

    Get the drift we are all on an ongoing learning curve with English!

    Learn English Here?
     
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  2. RushingWind

    RushingWind Elite Member

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    This is awsummm. Plzzz teach me moar
     
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  3. oxonbeef

    oxonbeef BANNED BANNED

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  4. spider7

    spider7 Regular Member

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    Funny thread.

    I'm in a melting pot where i live. Another Metropolis in the good-ole USA. In some cities here...people refuse to learn English. I heard from an old timer-friend from NY that many cultures in NYC have gotten by without learning English at all! They survive within their own culture and don't care to learn English. AMAZING.

    I know if i went to Spain, or China or where-ever, i would make it a point to learn the native tongue.

    Oh well (sigh)
     
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  5. vincentchong

    vincentchong Registered Member

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    yet if you come to Malaysia / Singapore you will amaze with our English.. in Malaysia we have our own slang call Manglish (Malay Language + English).
     
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  6. Goal Line Technology

    Goal Line Technology Senior Member

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    So our English, I think you will agree,
    Is the trickiest language you ever did see.

    I take it you already know
    of tough, and bough and cough and dough?
    Others may stumble, but not you
    on hiccough, through, slough and though.
    Well done! And now you wish, perhaps
    To learn of less familiar traps?
    Beware of heard, a dreadful word
    That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
    And dead; it's said like bed, not bead!
    For goodness sake, don't call it deed!
    Watch out for meat and great and threat,
    (They rhyme with suite and straight and debt)
    A moth is not a moth in mother,
    Nor both in bother, broth in brother.
    And here is not a match for there,
    Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,
    And then there's dose and rose and lose -
    Just look them up &ndash and goose and choose,
    And cork and work and card and ward
    And font and front and word and sword.
    And do and go, then thwart and cart.
    Come, come, I've hardly made a start.
    A dreadful language: Why, man alive,
    I'd learned to talk when I was five.
    And yet to write it, the more I tried,
    I hadn't learned it at fifty-five.
     
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