Keep friendships alive

oatmeal

Senior Member
Joined
May 20, 2015
Messages
1,184
Reaction score
785
I have always noticed this strange observation and it appears to determine how long you can keep a friendship alive.

Who calls who first all the time.

Do you ever feel like you are the person who always has to call your friend first to keep the friendship alive? If you didn't call FIRST then that person would never call you ...I mean it could last for months or years even and that person won't be the first to reach out to you until you do first.

Not all my friendships are like that but I have noticed quite a few seem to be all on me to keep it alive, else if I don't ever call, they'd never call me (email/text/call/visit etc) and the friendship would just wither away like it never existed. How sad is that???? (haha, I'm probably not a great friend).

Obviously the healthiest and ideal situation is for the friends to reciprocate and each should have their fair share of being the ones to call first. That's probably how most friendships stay afloat and last for so long. I'm also aware that sometimes if you find yourself having to be the one to always initiate contact
first to keep a friendship alive, then it could be an indirect or passive sign that the person doesn't really
want to be your friend is trying to say "not interested". But that's not always true, haha. Sometimes they are just really introverted or shy and don't naturally like to reach out to anyone first.

My best friend since childhood is like that. He'll almost never call me or reach out to me first but it is I who always does so. We go months and even years without talking to each other (we don't live in the same country anymore) because I didn't contact him and it only seems to break the silence when I reach out to him first.

I also had friends who would always call me first and reach out to me first constantly, and I'd reply back and meet up etc., but I'd almost never initiate anything. After a couple years, they stopped and must've got tired of reaching out to me first. I miss them. Wish they'd contact me again lol.

So are you the one that calls your friends first all the time or do you find yourself to be the one that everyone keeps calling you/reaching out to you first?
 
I feel as though I'm the one who is calling first. At the same time it bugs me a little but I get to have time to myself when I need it and am still able to reach out and socialize/hangout/etc when I want to. Some people get used to it though and seem to accept that and they usually end up being stronger friends in the long run.
 
Yeah I am. The only guy who stays at home all the time and dig for things which i can make into an income online.
I believe that i must take the first call and say hi. basically none of them are happy with what they go through in daily life.
They are busy going to their day job, stressed out, don't have anything interesting to share. so lost with life... and the list goes on.
 
Back
Top