Hey OP, I think since you have no exposure to code it's best to start with something easy that will get you used to logical structures and proper code design in an environment that's easy on the eyes and in plain language.
I'm biased since I'm a data person but imho everything is data-driven. I can't design shit but I can code my ass off. I'm sure the front-end based folks on here will disagree with me but here's what I recommend for you. Learn to move data around and make it dance locally on your own computer, then move it around online and put it in pretty containers on web pages. I hate C++ so those guys are coming from a different direction than me. But, I like anyone who wants to learn to code so here's my 2 cents.
Coding isn't for everyone. When you really get into it it's fucking hard but for those that love it, writing good code is the most rewarding thing this side of an orgasm. I started coding when I was around 10 and learned punch cards in summer camp at a local university (no joke and yes, I'm a dinosaur. rawr). On the Commodore 64 I taught myself BASIC and machine code and wrote my own word processors and games. I love coding and always have. I haven't always worked as a coder but I have written programs for myself pretty much my whole life. When I started working as a coder full time and making good money I tried to show some of my friends how to do it and their eyes glazed over right before they fainted. What comes easily to a lot of us makes other people just about drop dead from boredom or frustration. I'm not saying this to brag but to make a point. Some can code and some can't. It's like becoming an actor. It's not about talent it's about dealing with rejection. A minority of people can stand to hear "you suck!!" 20 times a week in auditions but 90% of us can't. Some people can't stand coding the same damn routine over and over and over for weeks or months and others take to it like a duck takes to water.
I'm going to recommend baby steps so you can try different levels and see if it suits you. You don't have to jump into C++ or C# or C-flat. Code in colorful GUIs with code hints or in Notepad, it's all good. If you can get your hands on these tools you'll familiarize yourself with coding, learn some cool stuff, and decide where your skills are. If you like this then you can literally learn any platform and do anything. Every 5 years the world changes and I learn a new suite of languages. Being comfortable with the basics makes it possible for me.
Get MS Office 2005. Learn Excel and VBA. This is a great coding environment and will introduce you to data manipulation and the BASIC language. Lots of code hints and tutorials. It's practically in English so it's easy to follow. Once you can manipulate data in a spreadsheet and then automate the manipulations you're on your way to real coding. It's really about visualization: you have to clearly see the steps you need, organize them, imagine what code would do the trick, then write it. Coding data on spreadsheets is a good start. Also, creating objects and sending info to the other Office apps is pretty close to sending data to web pages. Everything works the same way: 1-create the target, 2-manipulate the target, 3-close the target. But with Office you can do it all locally and get your feet wet. Writing a Word Doc from Excel or using php to build an HTML page from the results of a query are basically the same. Oh, and if you find you don't like coding, Excel tech are always in demand, so you've got yourself another skillset to help you in life.
Use Excel to learn how to create, open, read and write plain text files locally. This skill exists in every single platform. If you can't learn to do that in XL then you can't code.
Get Notepad ++ (free). Good for all languages. Great color highlights and the largest code library of any GUI.
Dreamweaver, any version. Great code hints. Can you do HTML? DW will give you a nudge for most web languages.
If you don't know how to already I say don't bother installing PHP and MySQL locally, that's just a distraction from coding. Get the cheapest hosting account you can and use that environment. You'll have phpMyAdmin and MySQL ready to go.
Your options for nice SQL GUIs are kinda limited. Access SQL sucks but it will show you a lot of complex structures that you can easily strip down to use in a proper database. You can use Excel talking to Access to learn how to build text SQL queries, open data connections, send the queries, interrogate the results and display them on your spreadsheet. If you can get the latest "SQL For Smarties" book.
Learning php is kind of tricky. You can read all the online tuts you want but it's still a bitch. The online tutorials don't get you from the "Hello World" level to doing really deep stuff. I did it by installing a php-based opensource webshop and picking it apart. It's basically the same as hitting data targets from Excel.
There's a lot more but I think if you want to be a real coder start with the basics. If you slide through this stuff then you can really learn any platform you choose. The best of us dream code in our sleep, work around the clock (literally) so that we don't break concentration. Try not to get discouraged. All coders have spent weeks and months on getting a few lines of code working right. People commit suicide over this shit so don't go crazy. Test the waters and see where your comfort level lies.
