hobobrown
Newbie
- Dec 7, 2014
- 2
- 2
I've been dreaming of a different path for many, MANY years, like a lot of newbies here I presume, for financial freedom. Although I'm not hurting for cash or desperate, I still yearn for the day to shatter the bonds of my current working situation. Not that I expect a sustainable living from IM, but maybe, a buffer to let me comfortably leave to do what I actually want. Or maybe just to open up other avenues in my life. Who knows? Perseverance is a trait that I don't typically possess. YES, in the past I have kept up with certain things to achieve where I'm at now, but I feel impostor syndrome. I feel like even though I make almost 6 figures at my current employment, now I feel trapped by my income to just easily leave it behind. I'm stuck now. Who could just leave that salary behind for something else or less?
I haven't felt like I've pushed myself to 100% in my life. I feel like I haven't really worked to get where I'm at. I somehow half-assed got where I am. So what would happen if I actually put forth 100%? What could I possibly achieve? And would I just fail, forget this place, and move on? If I've been lurking for about 8 years, then not likely. Though my tenacity is wavering.
I remember, as a child, a particularly cold, icy winter in Texas in the early 1990s. I had this brilliant idea that I could catch a cold, hungry bird. A wild bird. I know, right? IMPOSSIBLE. My dad seemingly thought so, otherwise he wouldn't have agreed that if I caught it, I kept it.
I vaguely remember trying different traps that I've seen in books or from the infant, but GRAND, internet at the time. Nope, this one didn't work. The stick and the string method? Forget it. Doesn't work. My catching tool was an old, big and plastic flower pot. I tried ALL these methods that were hands free or intended for automation. I had the seed, and the birds were definitely hungry and interested. I just couldn't get one under the pot to set off the crappy, makeshift traps I was implementing. BUT WAIT! These birds are hungry and possibly starving. Maybe if I tried to use my BARE HANDS as the triggering mechanism instead of relying on other trap methods that were supposedly hands free or PASSIVE.
So, I stood there silently in the cold for about an hour, but I've already have been attempting for hours. Couldn't feel my hands at this point. Letting the birds get comfortable with my presence until one BOLD bird followed the trail of seed until they were under the trap. SLAM!! I thrusted the flower pot down with the force of the gods if only to ensure capture without any regard of the bird's well-being. Although, the bird was just fine afterwards.
My parents were shocked, but surrendered to their previous declaration that I could keep it if I caught. Briefly, for minutes I did keep it, but ultimately decided to let it free. I felt empowered though. Like I could achieve anything after that. Even my parents doubted me, but I still did the "IMPOSSIBLE" at around 10 years old. I just needed the drive formed from others doubting me.
This tenacity seems to be fleeting from me, but I NEED for it to manifest once more in my new pursuit. Hopefully, I will persevere. I will feel accomplished if I even generate 1 dollar from my new endeavors. I have a few ideas that will probably fail and that's fine. That's really the only way you can learn a new talent. Failing's the easy part. It's persistence that's the hard part...
DISCLAIMER: I'm trying to practice and develop better writing skills so a lot of my posts will probably be like this.
TLDR
Just venting. Analogy of tenacity or maybe more?
Thanks for reading!
I haven't felt like I've pushed myself to 100% in my life. I feel like I haven't really worked to get where I'm at. I somehow half-assed got where I am. So what would happen if I actually put forth 100%? What could I possibly achieve? And would I just fail, forget this place, and move on? If I've been lurking for about 8 years, then not likely. Though my tenacity is wavering.
I remember, as a child, a particularly cold, icy winter in Texas in the early 1990s. I had this brilliant idea that I could catch a cold, hungry bird. A wild bird. I know, right? IMPOSSIBLE. My dad seemingly thought so, otherwise he wouldn't have agreed that if I caught it, I kept it.
I vaguely remember trying different traps that I've seen in books or from the infant, but GRAND, internet at the time. Nope, this one didn't work. The stick and the string method? Forget it. Doesn't work. My catching tool was an old, big and plastic flower pot. I tried ALL these methods that were hands free or intended for automation. I had the seed, and the birds were definitely hungry and interested. I just couldn't get one under the pot to set off the crappy, makeshift traps I was implementing. BUT WAIT! These birds are hungry and possibly starving. Maybe if I tried to use my BARE HANDS as the triggering mechanism instead of relying on other trap methods that were supposedly hands free or PASSIVE.
So, I stood there silently in the cold for about an hour, but I've already have been attempting for hours. Couldn't feel my hands at this point. Letting the birds get comfortable with my presence until one BOLD bird followed the trail of seed until they were under the trap. SLAM!! I thrusted the flower pot down with the force of the gods if only to ensure capture without any regard of the bird's well-being. Although, the bird was just fine afterwards.
My parents were shocked, but surrendered to their previous declaration that I could keep it if I caught. Briefly, for minutes I did keep it, but ultimately decided to let it free. I felt empowered though. Like I could achieve anything after that. Even my parents doubted me, but I still did the "IMPOSSIBLE" at around 10 years old. I just needed the drive formed from others doubting me.
This tenacity seems to be fleeting from me, but I NEED for it to manifest once more in my new pursuit. Hopefully, I will persevere. I will feel accomplished if I even generate 1 dollar from my new endeavors. I have a few ideas that will probably fail and that's fine. That's really the only way you can learn a new talent. Failing's the easy part. It's persistence that's the hard part...
DISCLAIMER: I'm trying to practice and develop better writing skills so a lot of my posts will probably be like this.
TLDR
Just venting. Analogy of tenacity or maybe more?
Thanks for reading!
