It's so tiring

OriginWorld

OriginWorld

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Do you know the feeling when you try something for a long time and it just doesn't work?
This is happening to me right now and I'm just not hopeful anymore.

I always wanted to be self-employed. When I was in my early 20s I tried hard to be a game dev, then switched to mobile dev and then tried gigs on fiverr. Nothing worked. I had to get myself full-time dev job, which killed me inside. My days consisted of waking up, working and going to sleep. I didn't even leave my house. However, I pressed on and worked for a few years full-time, earning a good puffer.

Last year I quit in the hope of building an income with websites. However, I didn't realize how bad Google got. I remember the time in 2019, when a shitty blog of mine easily got hundreds of search impressions daily, but now Google won't even look at me. My best website gets ca. 400 daily views (thank you bing and DDG). My app, which I made for the website does more uninstalls than installs, wtf!

Now, I'm lying in my dark bedroom and don't know what to do. There is no hope that my website will magically get more impressions, if it's already struggling for a year.

Yes, I have still money which could give me 2 years, but I'm already nearing my 30s and I wasted everything! Instead of experiencing life I studied, worked and tried my dream. I don't want to even fiend a new girlfriend because it would be shamefully, since I can't provide anything.
 
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Deleted member 1603965 said:
OK. So what are you plans for the future then? Like am genuinely curious.
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That's the whole crux of the problem. I really don't know. I can go back to full-time, which would be hard in this market and I would hate it again. I can try freelancing, but I would need to register it in my current country and I don't want to live here.

Originally I wanted to build up my assets (websites/apps) and go to another country to register a company
 
OriginWorld said:
Do you know the feeling when you try something for a long time and it just doesn't work?
This is happening to me right now and I'm just not hopeful anymore.

I always wanted to be self-employed. When I was in my early 20s I tried hard to be a game dev, then switched to mobile dev and then tried gigs on fiverr. Nothing worked. I had to get myself full-time dev job, which killed me inside. My days consisted of waking up, working and going to sleep. I didn't even leave my house. However, I pressed on and worked for a few years full-time, earning a good puffer.

Last year I quit in the hope of building an income with websites. However, I didn't realize how bad Google got. I remember the time in 2019, when a shitty blog of mine easily got hundreds of search impressions daily, but now Google won't even look at me. My best website gets ca. 400 daily views (thank you bing and DDG). My app, which I made for the website does more uninstalls than installs, wtf!

Now, I'm lying in my dark bedroom and don't know what to do. There is no hope that my website will magically get more impressions, if it's already struggling for a year.

Yes, I have still money which could give me 2 years, but I'm already nearing my 30s and I wasted everything! Instead of experiencing life I studied, worked and tried my dream. I don't want to even fiend a new girlfriend because it would be shamefully, since I can't provide anything.
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You failed because you tried to make something work that isnt a one man job anymore.

If you wanna be self-employed, the most important thing is to adapt. Expecting stable income on seo traffic ad a solopreneur would have been an incredibly bad idea in 2019, and straight up doesnt work now apart from a few very special exceptions.
Analyze what makes money nowadays, something that doesnt have an insanely high barrier of entry like seo has now, and do that. There are plenty of things like that, you just need to research(not study shit written by some dumbfuck who actually knows jack, you need to research yourself).

No reason to be depressed, once you actually find something that works things in your life will change very fast.

i think devs in general have an incredibly hard time doing this, simply because they dont think in terms of business, they think like a scientist, which is the best way to fail...
 
HyperEVmedia said:
If you wanna be self-employed, the most important thing is to adapt
Click to expand...
I like this... nobody really has it all figured out and yeah, the best parts of life don’t often happen in the plans.

There is always a need to adapt and learn more about what is currently working.
 
Yeah I know, everyday you ask yourself why life cant be easier. Personally, I just accepted that fact, and just try to keep on improving myself. Hope you can bounce back from this, I know you can.
 
Life has ups and downs.

Stay strong and start again with more stamina.
 
I really feel you, and I respect your honesty—it’s not easy to put this out there. The fact that you're still thinking about solutions and not completely giving up says a lot about your resilience. Maybe now it's the time to experiment differently.
 
OriginWorld said:
money which could give me 2 years, but I'm already nearing my 30s
Click to expand...

You are in better position than me.
AI is not really bringing new opportunities, it's eating everything up. Only people earning money from it are Open AI/Google and youtube scammers talking how you can earn money with AI.

Take Julian Goldie for example, a year ago he had the most useful SEO channel on yt. Now it's completely useless AI review trash...
 
Sounds like you had it rough :P remember there's always sunshine after the rain.
Laying in your bed in the dark, thinking what to do? That's when you think of idea's too
 
Welcome to the club brother... Try being on bhw for 15 years and barely scraping by coz you kept fking up and losing it all 3 times over.

I Have a wife that wants us to move to Europe or North America, buy us a house and I can't even provide for her... I had to go back to my elder brother's house and stay there in his dorm are bedroom with my wife.

Shits embarrassing... But you just gotta grind it out and never give up.

Luckily for me, I have had success over the years so I know if can do it once, or twice or 3 times.....I can do it again.

So stay positive, you're not alone, if you never give up, if you keep grinding and learning, you'll get there.

Tho sometimes you might need to take a day or a week and just destress and not think about work .... Then go back to the grind again.

I believe in you. You can do it.
 
I really feel you sometimes it’s tough when things just don’t click despite all the effort. But don’t lose hope; many have faced similar struggles before finding their breakthrough. Keep going, and remember you’re not alone in this.
 
Thanks everyone for listening in a moment of weakness. Sleeping also helped to reset my emotions.

I won't stop. I'm healthy and still have my family. Furthermore, I need to remind myself to appreciate what I have.
 
Man, I hear you - pouring your heart into something and it not clicking is soul-crushing. I’ve had my share of side hustles flop, so I get the burnout. You’re not failing, though; building websites and apps is huge, even if Google’s being a jerk. Those 400 daily views from Bing and DDG? That’s something! Maybe lean into those or try pushing your stuff on Reddit to boost traffic. The app uninstalls sting any user feedback to hint at why?

Two years of savings is awesome; you’ve got time to pivot. Maybe mix in a quick Fiverr gig or a newsletter to keep things fresh. You’re not wasting your 30s, you’re hustling. And don’t sell yourself short on dating; you’ve got more to offer than you realize. Keep us posted on BHW about what’s your site’s niche? Might spark some ideas.
 
So you're just gonna give up?

Well, don't. Try to have an entrepreneur mindset, not a "self-employed" mindset. If the website has no hope to get traffic, then you either invest on it (make radical changes) to save it OR create another one, with same niche or different niche, and don't rely on Google only.

You have a good experience, and you shouldn't be afraid at all. Don't let the negative thoughts like "there's no hope" ruin your life and your future. These negative thoughts won't help you at all.

Get your ass up and don't give up. If you feel you're burnout, it's fine, take a couple of days rest and then continue.
 
OriginWorld said:
Do you know the feeling when you try something for a long time and it just doesn't work?
This is happening to me right now and I'm just not hopeful anymore.

I always wanted to be self-employed. When I was in my early 20s I tried hard to be a game dev, then switched to mobile dev and then tried gigs on fiverr. Nothing worked. I had to get myself full-time dev job, which killed me inside. My days consisted of waking up, working and going to sleep. I didn't even leave my house. However, I pressed on and worked for a few years full-time, earning a good puffer.

Last year I quit in the hope of building an income with websites. However, I didn't realize how bad Google got. I remember the time in 2019, when a shitty blog of mine easily got hundreds of search impressions daily, but now Google won't even look at me. My best website gets ca. 400 daily views (thank you bing and DDG). My app, which I made for the website does more uninstalls than installs, wtf!

Now, I'm lying in my dark bedroom and don't know what to do. There is no hope that my website will magically get more impressions, if it's already struggling for a year.

Yes, I have still money which could give me 2 years, but I'm already nearing my 30s and I wasted everything! Instead of experiencing life I studied, worked and tried my dream. I don't want to even fiend a new girlfriend because it would be shamefully, since I can't provide anything.
Click to expand...
Man, I hear you, first come first, you still have dev skill, and it will always help you in tough situation. I've been in business for 20 years, and only 2 out of 50 I tried works, but the one that works feed me for life. I am still trying new ones now, and I just keep my mind neutral on this, if it doesn't work even I've tried my best, I move on.
 
If you know programming, check my journey threads; there are better ways of doing things than building websites and fighting google.

I was bankrupt back when I was 30, but now I'm doing okay. So do not stop, keep pushing forward.
 
If one day I give up on IM for various reasons, I would learn a skill related to house work. Electric/painter/plumber or anything in between ; for sure in any decent city you will get jobs till you retire.

IM is not for everyone, and most of us either get lucky, either we got timing/momentum.

Life is good, we all been to dark places, take it easy.
 
fortunec9 said:
Two years of savings is awesome; you’ve got time to pivot. Maybe mix in a quick Fiverr gig or a newsletter to keep things fresh. You’re not wasting your 30s, you’re hustling. And don’t sell yourself short on dating; you’ve got more to offer than you realize. Keep us posted on BHW about what’s your site’s niche? Might spark some ideas.
Click to expand...
I have different websites. Most of them are in the anime / books niche.
I tie my self-worth to success. That's why I don't want to be in a relationship unless I have something to offer. Especially because I'm more traditional and want to take care of my partner.

BrandingCat said:
If one day I give up on IM for various reasons, I would learn a skill related to house work. Electric/painter/plumber or anything in between ; for sure in any decent city you will get jobs till you retire.

IM is not for everyone, and most of us either get lucky, either we got timing/momentum.

Life is good, we all been to dark places, take it easy.
Click to expand...
I feel you. My big dream is to make enough money to invest into real life assets. I don't think that our current internet will survive AI and big corpo. Thats why I believe that real life assets like brick mortar stores are the future
 
Day by day I feel the same way as you do, but these are not things to worry about, after all we will all die one day. Enjoy the moment my friend.
 
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