BUONA FORTUNA
Ahh

Your first child, a strong, healthy, masculine boy who will adore his mother and honor his father.
Ahhh! Life! I'm so proud of you for knocking up your lady. You scamp.
I've become an uncle recently, just an uncle, and I'm SO happy...I can't even imagine how thrilled you are.
Now that you're going to be a father, you know your position in the world has changed. You are now a pillar of the community. You are a family guy.
No one can touch your family, and you have every right to assert that to the fullest extent.
You're going to work so hard for your family. You're going to feel such pride for what you've done and what they're becoming. You're going to get soooo upset with your son

he's going to wreck your car, drink your beer, break your everything, be better at sports. He's going to date girls you'll be proud of him for and your lady will just be absolutely disgusted with that girl and will have a talk with your son about the panties she found in his pocket and how girls like that lead to nothing good and will only end up breaking your heart while you're outside of the door laughing your ass off thinking "that's my boy!"
Oh man, and at first this will sound weird, but I'm so excited for you to get all stressed and worried about doing the right thing for your family and then rising up to the challenge. Fuckin life dude!