Is it okay to hurt your partner?

Advertise on BHW
beythegreat2 said:
My girlfriend has been hitting me everytime she's angry. I've got a lot of scars every now and then. Do you think I should break up with her?
Click to expand...
My friend, I'm really sorry to hear this. I want you to know that there are plenty of people, including myself who understand how hard these situations are. And while how obvious the answer "Just dump that bitch" and whatnot seem, yet they seem impossible to fully grasp, don't they? Like they are in plain sight, but there is an invisible barrier between you and the solution.

It's hard to give you a full answer without understanding more. Even healthy relationships are incredibly complex.

It's easy to paint someone just simply as a "bad person". But I'm sure you know it's much more complex than that. There is depth and facets to it.

Let me be clear - abuse is not acceptable and yes, you should absolutely do something about it. First and foremost because of yourself, but I don't think that will drive you. If it did, you would have left her already and not be here asking about it.

If you cannot bring yourself to action for your own sake, think of her. I am a firm believer that by far in most cases (pretty much excluding psychopathy), it's a tragic situation for your girlfriend. She is obviously tormented by something, some deep pain is causing her to do you this. Anger is a response caused by fear - it's a very primal and archaic emotion, the animal part of us that has not yet been grown out with evolution (if it ever even will).

Urge her to seek medical help. I think for many people, especially men, it's easy to fall in the trap of "knight in a shining armor" and think that you can cure her. It's really important to understand that most likely you cannot. Your goal should be to get her to see a psychologist. Don't try and resolve the knots and demons of her mind by yourself. It requires education.4

Beyond that, I highly suggest that you will seek professional help as well. Talking with a professional will help you organize your own thought processes about this whole matter.

On high level, here is what I think you should do:
- Do whatever is in your power to help her - but don't let that come at too steep of a price on your mental or physical health.
- If you cannot help her, you must accept that you are not right for each other at this time and let go. I know it's very hard, trust me. It's like jumping from a cliff. You hesitate forever, changing your mind. Then you jump and fall, and maybe regret already in the air that you did. You hit the water, it's cold. But eventually, you get your head back in the surface and the euforia of the knowledge that you have survived this will come.

Have strenght. We will all be okay in the end.
 
justalazyseo said:
If you cannot bring yourself to action for your own sake, think of her. I am a firm believer that by far in most cases (pretty much excluding psychopathy), it's a tragic situation for your girlfriend. She is obviously tormented by something, some deep pain is causing her to do you this. Anger is a response caused by fear - it's a very primal and archaic emotion, the animal part of us that has not yet been grown out with evolution (if it ever even will).
Click to expand...
Like someone else said, absolute bullshit. The rationalising you’ve done for domestic abuse is disgusting. So you’re allowed to throw hands because you were angry/scared?
 
I'm not sure this is the best place for questions like this, but here's my 2 cents....

What you should do is first maybe have a talk with your girlfriend - what is she angry about, why does she resort to that.

If you can't discuss things in a civilized manner with her then you have to ask yourself are either of you ready for a relationship, at the very least with each other? I mean, the fact you're on here asking us, says that you already have doubts. Speak to friends, family, those who know you. It can be very easy to see things as black and white, but there's always perspective, and nuances that you, her and others may not see.

If you and gf can't come to an understanding, or figure or how to curb her abuse (because honestly, that's what it is), then you have to figure out how much more you want to help her, while putting yourself at risk. Because if she's unwilling to change, the more you put yourself out there, the more at risk you are.... and is that something you're willing to do a year from now? Five years? Ten? The emotional damage is going to follow you and damage how you interact with people, how you create trust and even you're reaction in conflict (conflict at work, conflict with family, etc).

I'm not a therapist, I only play one online, so if you can, maybe seek outside IRL help which might understand your situation a lot better.
 
If you need to ask then it confirms that it's not okay.

Ditch the B*tch!
 
justalazyseo said:
Have strenght. We will all be okay in the end.
Click to expand...
No we won't, Nothing is okay in the end.
There is no "OK" to domestic abuse.
OP's girl needs help, and OP needs to get away from that toxic relationship.
If you truly love someone, you wouldn't be venting out on them much less hurting them, both physically and mentally.
& if you believe it's ok to hurt your partner & we ain't talking about kinky consented fucking, you need to seek help too.
1683655832178.png
https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-help-a-victim-of-domestic-violence-66533
 
Setox said:
but seriously ? WTF happened to men's these days?
Click to expand...
Being polite is not a crime/problem though. I can totally feel what op must be going through. Just that I wouldn’t even talk to a girl like that.. But then.. shit happens.
 
Break up with her, but don't tell her, keep fucking that bitch and find yourself a good woman in the meantime.
 
Maybe someone has done it to her in the past and now she's doing the same. That's a crazy thing to have scars from beating. The worst I got was couple bruises and I considered it major violence. That's too much.
 
You defenetely need to leave her, there is no relationship were you get hit and that is good, that is domestic violance and it will continue and will get worst, be strong and leave her because your physical and mental health is in danger also your life because she is being doing this for a long time and there is no remorse, leave her and ask for help to the authorities of your country tell a friend or family member you really trust so they can help you through this process, you are not alone hope you get away from her and you can find someone that respect you.
 
beythegreat2 said:
My girlfriend has been hitting me everytime she's angry. I've got a lot of scars every now and then. Do you think I should break up with her?
Click to expand...

You should stop being soft and start respecting yourself.
 
Advertise on BHW
You must log in or register to reply here.
Sign up now!

Main Menu

Home Main Forum List Black Hat SEO White Hat SEO BHW Newbie Guide Blogging Black Hat Tools Social Media Downloads

Marketplace

Account Selling Content / Copywriting EBooks / Methods Hosting Misc Proxies For Sale SEO - Link building SEO - Packages Social Media Social Media - Panels Web Design More

Making Money

Affiliate Programs Hire a Freelancer IM Journeys Making Money Pay Per Click Site Flipping Want to Buy

BlackHat World

Dispute Resolution Forum Suggestions & Feedback Introductions Lounge
Back
Top