Incredible highs and Incredible Lows

First time in my life, I find myself not knowing which way to turn. My internet marketing journey started in 2011 and I wasn't that good but loved learning new things. The first few years I had a job as my main income and then IM as a nice bit off pocket money.

By the time 2014 came, I started to get serious about IM. I had 2 websites making money and was getting new customers without even trying, mainly through word off mouth.

Fast forward to 2016 and I am questioning myself, where did it all go wrong ?

The past few months have been a real struggle to me, to the point I am now going to be homeless, not even eating for several days at a time as I have no money and all I can do, is go over and over why has it gone wrong ?

I feel I have been used by my clients, many of whom, when I did rank on page 1, just fucked me off. The only way to describe it, was when they got what they wanted. They couldn't give a shit..When I would first start with them, it was all exciting, going up through page by page, till we hit the 1st page. I found almost 80% of my clients, who knew it was a monthly contract, just couldn't give a shit.. they where on page 1 in there eyes, why do they need to keep paying the money.. I did do what someone suggested on BHW and explain to the client, that ranking was only half the battle, which fell upon death ears.. I even had client who I educated, again advise of BHW.. so I tried to offer a transparent service. Which tbh, was one off the first mistakes I made and I feel other people are doing too. Educating your client is fine but what I find, is those that you do educate, ALWAYS cut your services off eventually. As whilst your educating them, they are researching, taking notes themselves.. It was okay when they didn't know there ass from there tit, as far as SEO was concerned but soon as they got a bit knowledge, I found them to be the worst clients to work for.. Not all but a large %. It was amazing when they first came, they knew NOTHING.. fast forward 6 months and he's feeling more confident about SEO, through my knowledge.. so confident was one off my clients, he started telling me how to do my job! he knew nothing but went from 0 to super fucking cocky.

One off my clients through my work struck lucky and got a major contract worth $100,000. He was so excited but then soon as he got the money and obviously thought he was safe and comfortable. He stopped doing marketing. Well he continued, but on his own. What's even more annoying, is that I actually gave him the idea, which he got the $100,000. I did not get any credit. Infact, I find the owner to be a complete fraud. He pretends on facebook that it was all his idea, he executed, blah, blah.. what a load off crap! he was living with his mother when I met him. What's even more annoying, is people now are starting to look up to him. He's even get invited to events, to Publically speak. Infact, there is a major event for startups, and they invited him. After the event, I saw his article, how he talked about SEO been a key ingredient, etc... he even started sharing my methods, I told him.. when I thought I was "Educating" the client.. it pisses me off so much, to the point. I really want to sue this guy. I have all the original emails, EVERY SINGLE ONE.. All these public speaking events and other bull shit, where he tells people "how he succeeded"..

I gave my clients confidence that SEO is real. Results can and have been achieved.. I would even explain things too them. Sharing my knowledge, just to feel at a later point used and abused.

I grew them financially, and helped increase there SEO knowledge.. What did I get back in return ? Not a lot really. I have finally learnt, that you really can trust NOONE and I really mean NOONE.

At this point in my life, I feel very low mentally and have had suicidal thoughts. This is the first time really opening up about it. However, it's hard to think just 2 years ago today, I was getting ready for a 5 star hotel Xmas vacation.. and 2 years later, I am sitting in the cold, haven't eaten in 3 days, I am going to be made homeless on the 12th December, so just in time to be homeless for Xmas. I've lost ALL my online sources off income.

Inside I feel so un-happy.. I feel I am constantly tortured by my past successes.

I know people say try again, if you've done it before. You can do it again.. however, there is just not enough time to stop me from been homeless for Xmas.

Sorry folks. I need to get it out off my mind. It's 4:30am here. I can't sleep.

The grind, at the lowest points in my life, has always been when I've done the most productive, inspired work. Keep grinding. You'll get there. Stay motivated.

IGKing

If you don't make sure to have a legally binding contract with your clients that clearly states what rights and obligations each party has, then you can only really blame yourself. This is business not a fucking charity...

You need stability. Get a real job. Go cleaning, do anything.

Just get yourself back up on your feet. Tell yourself fuck those guys. Go make something that makes yourself rich.

Felt sorry to read about you. But is it really the end of life? You have already said that people will ask you to try again and that word wont bring your past life back. But losing confidence or trust at this critical moment could really hurt. If you have that trust, it will keep you alive. Make this moment of hardship your motivation and just find out something which are good at. Offer it over here and sell to the community. The BHW community looks good and they definitely will rescue you. The time is less, so might be very difficult for you to hold everything together.

But don'd feel so down that you lose the energy to get up


Dont forget that you are human. It's ok to have a melt down. Just don't unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed.

i had my dark times as well , dropped of college after 3 years , 10 k $ down the drain + time and all , wanted to kill myself so many times , that i was dreaming every day with my eyes open about it , if i could do it with 0 knowledge , depression , extreme social anxiety , you have a good chance yourself , so why dont you give it a try ,after all you have nothing to lose , Good luck , also i had some loses myself , i always think about it as Karma , so nothing i can do about it

I'm sorry for your losses and all the garbage you've had to put up with, but it's not surprising... I'm guessing you're a freelancer/paid-by-the-gig sort of guy.

In that kind of world, although payment turnover is much quicker, you have to understand it's not a real, sustainable business unless you can learn to automate it.

You're biggest mistake here was believing in your clients and giving way over the expected requirements.

My best advice to you would be to get a job ASAP, get financially stable, get your health back to normal(fix the lack of proper nutrition), and finally

Start a business with the long-term in mind. If you want to freelance, get some Jr freelancers to do your gigs for you for a split of the profit while you focus on greater ways to expand.

I'd recommend you take 6 months to get yourself and your life on track and once you've done that, look into starting a more sustainable business, even if it means working part time on it with your job.

Don't give up yet, mate

It sucks to be going through financial problems, especially during the holidays, but begging for refunds from software you bought in 2014 isn't the way to go about fixing your financial situation. You've contacted GSA support over and over recently asking for refunds from the software you've purchased back in 2014 because you say you're broke and homeless.

Then when we refuse the refund, you decide to threaten us saying, "Don't try and play someone who is a bigger black hat than you". We don't owe you a refund because you're broke, that's not our fault, but threatening us and then spamming the support email with thousands of emails/minute using some bot definitely isn't going to solve your problems. It's a great way to get your licenses permanently banned and definitely shows your true character.

If you keep doing it I'll be sure to contact the mods here to see if there's something that can be done. (We can tell its you by the I.P. address)