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Improving your life

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Ste Fishkin, Dec 9, 2015.

  1. Ste Fishkin

    Ste Fishkin Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Let's have a troll free serious lounge topic for a change please...

    The past 48 hours have possible been the worst in my life, rough shit has happened and its made me think a lot.

    I don't think I am very happy and the sad part is I cannot even remember when I was actually happy or content with things. Its been a while (3+ years at least)

    I don't do IM, I was a freelance web designer, I enjoyed it and did OK at it but I got approached by a company to work in house originally on an 8 week contract and now I've been there for over 18 months. I loved it at first as my job was 100% web design, without pain in the arse clients in a cool place. I did a fucking great job on this eccommerce store, I took it from £XXXX in lifetime sales to £XXX,XXX in under a year.

    But the fun stuff is over, my job is customer support based now, tech support, product updates, packing boxes, answering calls and emails about things I just don't give a fuck about... Mundane shit. I have no job satisfaction at all and its left me burnt out, uninspired and just bored from the moment I arrive to the moment I leave. I'm not even happy when I get home as I know I have another day of this tomorrow.

    I cannot state where I work, but its cool. It really is but working 6 days a week, 9am - 6pm for 18 months with less than 2 days off has caused me to sacrifice friends, energy, relationships and really my life. Its just not worth it and the novelty has worn off.

    The people there are OK, money is average and I'm on a profit share, but the job itself sucks and I don't seem to be appreciated at all for the work I have done. After spending most of Sunday in police cells on a false allegation it was too much to ask to get Monday off. Remember in 18 months I've had 2 days off.

    But my job is not the only thing getting to me. My friends are boring the shit out of me, none of them have ambition they just seem happy in crappy jobs (like real crap jobs), talking shite at the pub. Nothing happens, same old shit every time I see them.

    My family are 90% assholes, I really have no close relationships with any of them and after this weekend I can say at least 2 of them are dead to me.

    Turning up home to just my dog is getting to me, I'm probably at least a bit lonely but it could just be all the other stresses getting to me.

    Money wise I am comfortable, no debt or anything hanging over me.

    But seriously I need to change something and soon, I am 25 and unhappy and I think I deserve better... But I honestly don't know what the fuck to do first.

    Give me your honest opinions on what you would do, it might help me see a bit more clearly.
     
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  2. VinceC

    VinceC Elite Member

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    Be someone else boss by setting up a company of your own and shift this shit to your employees...
     
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  3. Neon

    Neon Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Your signature Ste ... your signature !!! ATTACK THE DAY WITH ENTHUSIASM !
     
  4. lightningblitz

    lightningblitz Elite Member

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    Hughes, you can have anything in life you want.

    How much savings do you have? Do you think your skill set is marketable enough to leave your job? Can you get a stellar reference from your employer if you do leave?

    Lets be real here for a moment. You are:

    1. A smart guy.
    2. A funny guy.
    3. Know webdesign / IM / SEO well enough from your 'honest posts'

    Do you really think you can't quit your job and make it if you needed to?

    Your family sucks, blokes suck, work is boring, yup. Sounds like an early mid life crisis. Most guys try to get a younger girlfriend and a sports car. They piss away a life of hard work and feel empty.

    What are they missing? Doing something which they are actually passionate about. You used to enjoy your life. Now you don't.I am willing to bet you are not feeling fulfilled or challenged. That is the problem with 'smart' and 'motivated' people. You can make 250K a year sitting in a room browsing the internet for 8 hours a day and after a while you will hate it. You should know this better than anyone on the internet.

    You also know no one else can fix your shit for you. Your friends and family will not satisfy you.

    My advice to you, after asking rhetorical questions and making you read what you already know is to get your shit together and make a change in your life. Do what you always wanted to do. If you want to be a freelance web designer or a paper boy go ahead and do it. I am not some ass hat who will tell you 'if you love what you do the money will come' but I know from the times you are not trolling you are smart enough to squeeze beer out of an orange. If you had to you could make money doing what you want to do.

    What you want to do may also include moving to some 3rd world country and living in a hut by the ocean. Only you know what will get you excited. Just do it. This is not a 'live your legend' type of talk, but you will not be satisfied until you find what makes you happy and do it.

    Either way, good luck. You deserve it all in life and I hope this is not a troll so I don't feel like an a - hole trying to help.
     
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  5. Cnotey

    Cnotey Power Member

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    It's all about perspective brother.

    At my day job I (I quit in August to work on my own ventures full time) I was making over $160k/year consulting. You know what? I was still unhappy. All of my friends came to me and said "how the hell can you be unhappy making that kind of money?"

    It was my perspective. I could make all the money in the world and not be happy having a CEO coming into my office all day long. I worked 5 years without a day off before I quit.

    Plus, who cares if your friends are boring? Most of my friends are convicted felons working for $12/hr. I still love them to death. They would help me bury a body, and they have proven as such (almost).

    Happiness and money are not intertwined.

    Being lonely? Yea that sucks. I've been married for 10 years and still love it. I can't offer you any advice on that. The ladies have always loved me.
     
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  6. jmsalvador021

    jmsalvador021 Regular Member

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    How about use your Jr VIP and post a web design service at the marketplace? or find someone to joint venture with you?
     
  7. Euphorix

    Euphorix Supreme Member

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    Oh Ste, We're here in life for the merest moment.

    "When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: 'If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right.' It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?' And whenever the answer has been 'no' for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something." - Steve Jobs

    4 Physical Needs Of Humanity

    1. Consistency
    2. Variety
    3. Signifigance
    4. Love/Connection

    Which one's do you think are missing? Maybe we can help provide you with learning resources that will allow you to pursue each
     
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  8. SnoopyDrew

    SnoopyDrew Senior Member

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    I think it is time for a nice vacation. Go find yourself a girl. Relax take a break from work say you need to take some personal time.
     
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  9. Asif WILSON Khan

    Asif WILSON Khan Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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    Dude, if I was 25, single (no family commitments) in a job that I didn't enjoy I would try to scrape 6 months salary together and jack it all in and MOVE.
    If you are feeling adventurous then spend some time abroad but even just moving to another part of the country could give you the boost you need.
    Move somewhere else away from family/friends, get a part time Bar job to earn a little side cash and have an instant social life, then get back into web design.
    Maybe even think about taking a college course just to jump start the old brain and meet new people.
    Without any bullshit distractions it should help you focus, and if you can find something to get passionate about then great.
     
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  10. Dbeck19

    Dbeck19 Regular Member

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    Hello,

    I was in a similar situation from 17-19 (now 22) I was working a average job and attending university so I can empathise with you.

    What i say might seem harsh but I genuinely just want to help.

    You seem to have a Gamma/ Beta male mindset in the sense that you feel entitled to a better life, but aren't willing to work or take the risks necessary to achieve it.

    Are you really who you think? because your complaining about your friends but your actions are the same (mundane job/ boring life)

    Don't like your job? figure out what you want to do and take action. (quit job and start a business)

    Don't like your friends? cut them off, focus on becoming a better man.

    If you don't like going home to your dog, read a book on seduction (I can recommend) which helped me in my teens on how to approach women in the day or evening and now I setup atleast 2 dates a week.

    Something which changed my life was inner confidence in who you are as a man rejection or failure whether with women or business doesn't really matter. Just pick yourself back up, have the audacity to approach a girl in the street, or to pursue that business idea that you believe in.

    Maybe you just don't have what it takes to be a leader? if you don't then stop complaining.
     
  11. Panther28

    Panther28 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Just read the self help book titled "The Franklin Ballscratch Method" it will change your life.
     
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  12. seoheroo

    seoheroo Junior Member

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    From my viewpoint - looks to me that you are growing as a person - Maturing to an adult - most people don't hit this stage until they are in the 40s (why? Because at that age, they mostly have kids and need to pump a lot of money and that drives and motivates them). The age old saying ... you are who you hang around with.
    Time for you to make new friends - I'm serious. Your income is the average of your 5 most closest friend - you are at the point where you want to grow as a person and do well in life - and you not happy to settle for anything less.

    Family you cannot choose - HOWEVER you can choose to spend time with them or not. Luckily my family is good. But *if* my family was bad, I would not spend time with them at all. Maybe the occasional hang out, but I would avoid them like a plague.

    Since you are single, I would recommend something ... might struck you as I dont need that stuff, but I would recommend it highly.
    Learn PUA - Pick Up Artist. Why? It's all about working on yourself. Its a life skill...and you use it for not just picking up girls, but working wise as well.
    Look up Double Your Dating by David Deangelo [sign up to his free newsletter -worth the gold]. Look up Neil Strauss - The Game [great book].

    Work wise - I highly recommend you to sit down with a notebook and pen, and just write everything down. Just scribble notes everywhere, and get everything out of your head, and onto paper. Why? Because when its in your mind, its like a jigsaw puzzel - but once you get it onto paper, you can start to rearrange it and put it into formation. What you want to do is write down where you want to be in 1 year, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, and 30 years [or you can start with 30 years - whichever is easier for you]

    I wish you the best of luck. Remember - nearly all successful people was down in the dumps before they emerged out of the darkness and to victory. Eg Napolean Hill, Donald Trump, Richard Branson etc etc.
     
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  13. Ste Fishkin

    Ste Fishkin Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    If anyone else PM's me ebooks on being an alpha male I will hunt you down and burst your fucking lungs.
     
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  14. t0mmy

    t0mmy Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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    Wilson said it before I had a chance.. go travel dude.

    You are wasted working in that place for starters.. you're young, free and single with a good grasp on IM and with a heck of skills at your disposal people would pay big money for. My advice - Get some money together even if it's sticking out the job a bit longer, then do as wilson said gtfo out of there for a bit. Set up some simple online projects (this will be no problem for you) and travel, it will solve most of your issues I see here.

    I know them feels about your friends. I've been there, I'm 27.. the majority of my friends are still as you describe, it's not their fault and as hard as it is we shouldn't judge the fuckers for it, they just don't see the bigger picture or the world outside their small bubble.

    Seriously.. you have the skills and knowledge to make money and travel. Just do it you'll thank yourself later. If you do then make sure to come visit me in Spain we'll tear shit up.
     
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  15. clark123

    clark123 Junior Member

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    I think we are in the same boat and I am at your same age with big corporate job and I can certainly relate to you. Honestly, I find taking time and reflecting like this, the way you are doing at the moment is one of the best way to improve our life.

    Most importantly, being grateful of what you have instead of what you don't have is very important. I also find doing exercise (no need to be hardcore, just normal cardiovascular exercise) and meditation helped me a lot(I am not religious guy at all). Being positive and being happy is all that matters!. Join some interest club/group or volunteer where you can meet new people, after all we human being is a social creature!

    So yeah..long story short: Don't give up, stay positive and above all be happy!

    Just my two cents advices.
    Cheers!
     
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  16. snowberry

    snowberry Newbie

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    Stop whining and get off your lazy ass and change it! It's your fault things turned out that way so just get another job and stop complaining here, your attitude stinks
     
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  17. jmsalvador021

    jmsalvador021 Regular Member

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    did u got troll'ed by Ste Hughes before? you're so angry
     
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  18. SPQR

    SPQR Elite Member

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    In my honest opinion W130SN gives the best advice in this thread so far. Change your perspective Ste, the position you're in right now is a blessing. You have the power to change who and what you are. I still expect the same Ste Hughes though.
     
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  19. wizard04

    wizard04 Elite Member

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    Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

    On a serous note, boohoo! Job is not meant to be fun, we work becouse the things we like and enjoy cost money and we need to get that shit from somewhere.

    You have a good paying job, keep it and work on IM till you can make enough to quit your job.
     
  20. ImranKhan1989

    ImranKhan1989 Regular Member

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    Hi Bro,

    I'm also 25 year old & I started my job when I was 19 year old was doing job in a link building company. I did job there for 2 years but then I got bored,really because I had nothing to learn I wanted to learn about SEO a lot but my boss insist me too only do LB.

    I was getting good salary & was earning $$$$ from my freelancer LB work,it was hell out of money for me as was about to turn 21 & I am from India.

    But I wanted to learn many things & I don't want to tie my self only with LB. Finally I left work,started learning SEO. Doing things which I wanted to do,which makes me happy.

    Now it's been 4 years,many up nd downs but I never looked back. Earning good and happy.

    Thanks!