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I'd appreciate if someone could review and proofread my post

Discussion in 'Making Money' started by InnerMongolia, Jul 8, 2012.

  1. InnerMongolia

    InnerMongolia Newbie

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    I've create a website and try to say something like "how does it work" "About us" . My English is not good since it's not my main language. I pasted here hoping someone could modify and revise it. Thank you..........so much!

    Welcome to xxxxx
    We have created this web-site to provide our services at the software and internet marketing service and we will upgrade our features as soon as possible , please note that the web-site is newcomer and we know the web-site design , investment system etc are not great.
    Let's work together and increase the web-site quality step by step. We are not just selling softwares, please focused on ?other service? section to get more service product. Sign up members has comments functionality only. What we concern most is personal information security and privacy, We will NOT provide online bill view and pay services since it?s not safe ,your credit cards will be abused . Do not use your common passwords which related to other important accounts of yours. Use random one. If website been hacked, all of your personal info will lost. We only accept liberty reserve as a means of payment. If paypal, we will deliver goods 48hours later. Sorry for the inconvenienc. Our product working 100% , replacement available. No refund.
     
  2. refjaf55

    refjaf55 Regular Member

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    In my opinion, don't say that the you know that the website is not great.
     
  3. refjaf55

    refjaf55 Regular Member

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    Here is my revision of what you said. Hope I helped!

    "Welcome to xxxxx
    We have created this web-site to provide our services, software, internet marketing, and we will upgrade our features as soon as possible.
    We are not just selling software, we are also focused on our "other service" section to look at more service products. Sign up members have comments functionality only. What we are concerned with the most is personal information security and privacy, we will keep everything confidential. Do not use your common passwords which are related to other important accounts of yours. Use random ones. If you use paypal, we will deliver goods 48hours later. Sorry for the inconvenience. Our products are working 100%, replacement are available. No refunds."
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  4. InnerMongolia

    InnerMongolia Newbie

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    refjaf55, thank you for your help!! " we will keep everything confidential." I'm not able to promise that. It's true that credit card will be stolen if the shopping site been SQL injected. web database will dumped completely. Few Admin use clear text passwords without MD5 ENCYPTION.
    Another thing is I want to keep liberty reserve as payment tool.