I need your advice

I didn't know where to post this thread so I decided to post it here. Maybe someone can offer advice on the way forward.

I 31(M) have come to the conclusion that my brother 29(M) is not a team player. About 10 years ago I began working in a lucrative industry and things were great for a while. I introduced him into the industry, taught him the basics, and helped him start his business. We were both happy. About five years ago, the industry changed, sales dropped significantly and my business failed. He managed to get clients from another country and his business survived. Things were great for him but not so great for me.

In the last 5 years, I have hardly received any support from him as I tried to launch other businesses and get on my feet. He hardly picked my calls, and when he does, he answers with a rude tone. I don't feel entitled to his money at all, but it would have been great if he helped because he knew that I was struggling and I asked. It reached a point when I stopped calling or texting him out of my self-respect.

Currently, things have started to change and finally I'm on my feet again. However, I am currently wondering whether to cut ties with my brother because he has already shown that he does not have my back when I need him. I don't intend to be rude or to cut off communication, but I am highly motivated to put some distance between us. I helped him when he was in need, but he did not help me when my business failed and I don't think that kind of relationship is good for me. Lately, he has started to initiate conversations after I bought I new car and started travelling.

How would you handle such a situation?

Ok, I've read your post thoroughly and my sincere opinion is that you should adress this to your brother the immediate second because you are related by blood, this is a concern more fit for a friend ? a business partner ? but he should know that he has been imorale to you, don't take that lightly!

Im an only child, and i work alone. So im out of my element.

But damn, its your brother. See, i like to cut out everything i perceive as cancerous. So my first instinct is to cut him out and move on. But it is your brother, so maybe you should talk about it.

Scorpion Ghost said:

Im an only child, and i work alone. So im out of my element.

But damn, its your brother. See, i like to cut out everything i perceive as cancerous. So my first instinct is to cut him out and move on. But it is your brother, so maybe you should talk about it.

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I'm an only child as well and i hear you bro but I think the right morale and universally correct way is to not let it slide... he should adress it to his brother maybe he s sociopath

thankyouusa said:

I'm an only child as well and i hear you bro but I think the right morale and universally correct way is to not let it slide... he should adress it to his brother maybe he s sociopath

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Maybe.

But not letting things slide can often be a waste of time and can cause problems.

Talking to his brother, maybe he thinks for days about what to say. Maybe he gets moody or angry or sad thinking about it and arranging to meet. During the meet and the talk, maybe an argument happens and they never talk to each other again. Maybe they get into a fight.

And while he's busy doing all of that, he is not busy working on his money and his business and whatever else he chooses to do to improve and/or enjoy his life.

But it is a brother, and one that at least once upon a time they were close, probably. So maybe a talk is worth it.

Easiest thing to do is write him out of your life.

If you weren’t that close, the answer is obvious with the way he’s acting. However, I recommend that you straight up ask him “hey, what’s your problem lately”.

When your brother asks you to elaborate, just reiterate what you wrote in the OP.

Don’t cut ties with him. Life is long and for sure will come a time when he needs something from you. Then you can give him a big lesson.

Thanks for the responses guys. I have concluded that people are who they are and I can't change them. Therefore, I will put some distance between us because it's necessary. We will continue talking whenever we meet but I am now more careful when dealing with him especially on financial issues. When it comes to money, I have concluded that we can't collaborate and that's okay. If he didn't support me at my worst situation, I sure as hell don't need him financially going forward and he better not need me either.