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I Just Ate Chocolate-Flavored Paste

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Reaver, Jan 12, 2017.

  1. Reaver

    Reaver Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    One of my IM projects involves me tasting new foods and writing up reviews about them.

    So, with that in mind, I was commissioned to write a review about Hostess's new candy-infused brownies. I went to Walgreens yesterday and bought two packs of the M&M ones, which equals four brownies. The were 2 for $2 so I figured what the hell.

    Since I hadn't eaten at all that morning I decided to munch on one while I went shopping. So I open the package and took a bite.

    It tasted like chocolate paste infused with chalk-flavored candy.

    I was so mortified.

    I had to drink a bunch of water and put some tea tree oil on my tongue to get the taste out of my mouth.

    I wondered if it was just me being hungry or having a weird moment, bc usually if it's chocolate I love it. So I decided to try it again this morning.

    Nope. It tasted even worse, like I had licked a bar of chocolate off the ground.

    I was so grossed out, I put the other two out in the back for the possums and the raccoons. I doubt they'll eat them. I'm not even sure what I consumed was actually food. I think it was product waste in food form.

    Have you had any really gross food recently?
     
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  2. Neon

    Neon Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Yes ... there was no Heinz ketchup so I bought some other shit, but I thought it will taste OK, so I put it all over my pizza and when I tasted it I threw the whole pizza out of the window.
     
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  3. Conor

    Conor Elite Member

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    Nope. I do all the cooking in the house. I'm an amazing cook.
     
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  4. Reaver

    Reaver Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Sometimes I wonder about you. :rolleyes:
     
  5. Neon

    Neon Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    It's Berlin, but there are a lot of foxes here, so it's better to feed the poor animal instead to throw the pizza in the trash, but this was really disgusting. A cheap ketchup maybe made in some Chinese garage.
    Actually I feel bad for the pool animal now.
     
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  6. Reaver

    Reaver Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Men who can cook are sexy. ;)

    I think everyone needs to learn to cook. These pre-packaged foods and fast food places have all kinds of stuff in them that is unhealthy and gross.

    Plus cooking is fun.
     
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  7. Conor

    Conor Elite Member

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    Totally agree. I can't understand how some people can be satisfied eating burnt toast and runny eggs. A recipe is literally the easiest thing in the world to follow. If you can read, you can cook.
     
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  8. datsunguy

    datsunguy Supreme Member

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    I drank some sugar free ice tea the other day, it literally made me gag. also on the topic of chocolate if you ever find yourself in amsterdam, paris or belgium go to a nutelleria they are bakeries specifically for nutella based baked goods.

    women belong in the kitchen, men belong in the kitchen everyone does since that is where the food is.

    and if you dont know how to cook a proper meal by the time you are 18 there is something wrong. and i mean an actual meal not just warming up the oven and throwing in some precooked crap.
     
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  9. Reaver

    Reaver Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    I HATE Nutella. That is the nastiest shit. I do not understand the hype. I have tried it on several occassions and I just can't.

    What brand of tea was it?

    My parents made sure we all knew how to cook a real meal by the time we were 13. We had recipe cards that we kept so we could learn how to cook and follow directions. Now we rarely ever eat out; we prefer homemade meals. They taste better and they're less expensive.

     
  10. Reaver

    Reaver Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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  11. Nut-Nights

    Nut-Nights Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Please help I dont have money for food.
     
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  12. datsunguy

    datsunguy Supreme Member

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    if you get the chance try european nutella its completely different to what you get in the US
    dont know, it was some offbrand lipton knock off
    I grew up in africa where they make damn sure everyone knows how to cook properly, pretty much any party or social gathering was at someones house and we cooked our own food. when i moved to the NL in 2015 i was shocked to learn that my 17 year old cousin needed help on warming up soup, i kid you not. Hell most people there my age didn't know how to cook. (early twenties btw)
     
  13. bartosimpsonio

    bartosimpsonio Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Your new avatar makes it look like you're gonna eat the person trying to help. I like it.
     
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  14. Mrnewbie

    Mrnewbie Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    It was some type of chocolate cake with raspberry filling that was for a birthday. I don't like sweets but this was really nasty tasting. I don't consider myself a picky eater but more a selective one.
     
  15. MisterF

    MisterF Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    I live in Spain and had friends across over Xmas, so we called at the supermarket to stock up on food.
    One of the group was looking at all the nicely presented sweets / candy, until someone else in our group said ' don't bother most of these taste like sand '.

    Needless to say the first friend went ahead and bought several of these cookie type things and needless to say they threw them in the bin after the first bite, as they tasted like sand.

    Personally I haven't eaten sand, so no idea what it's like.
     
  16. bartosimpsonio

    bartosimpsonio Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    You guys heard the latest? The EU has banned all Nutella. Not shitting you, go search the news. Something about Italy saying it causes cancer.
     
  17. Johnny_Tsunami

    Johnny_Tsunami Junior Member

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    I'm more concerned that you put Ketchup on your pizza.
     
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  18. Capo Dei Capi

    Capo Dei Capi BANNED BANNED

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    I bought the same thing yesterday, to me I kind of liked it even though its nothing like a good fresh made brownie.
     
  19. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    I'm not interested in the things you get up to in the bedroom.
     
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  20. gman777

    gman777 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Any product with additives, sugar, fried oil at high temperatures can cause cancer.

    Chocolate, potato fries, chips, processed food etc.

    But it can is different from it will.
     
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