Humor Competition JNR VIP

It is a classic.

This thread is funny as hell I couldn't resist. I tried it on my ex-girlfriend from about 5 or 6 years ago since she was the only one I saw online

Name and information has been ... out to protect the innocent and guilty:

Me: What are you doing online at this time?
Her: Its always on my phone
Me: It's bed time.
Her: Why are you stalking me
Her:
Me: You wish.
Me: You're not on the phone.
Me: I'm watching you now.
Her: Yeah I am
Her: Whatever
Me: How am I watching you then.
Her: You're not
Me: Where are you?
Her: Home
Me: Exactly where I see you.
Her: Yeah yeah
Me: Email me your address and I'll send you .....
Me: And send naked pictures.
Her: You were supposed to send it a long time ago
Her: And send me 2
Me: 2? One for your boyfriend also?
Her: Stfu
Me: I'll send you half of one.
Her: Stingy
Me: Not stingy businessman
Her: Yeah whateva
Me: How are you typing so fast on a cell?
Her: Don't have a man still seeing ... but he isn't doing to good his mom just died of cancer and he is miserable
Her: Because I got skills
Her: Stoooopid
Her: Funeral is tomorrow
Me: That sucks.
Me: I moved a few weeks ago.
Her: Where is el diablo tonight (she's talking about my wife here)
Her: Where did you move to
Me: To a new house.
BUZZ!!!
Me: She's in the other room.
Her: What town
Me: I'm in my office.
Me: ... still.
Her: What part
Me: A nice part.
Her: Ok
Me: What are we doing tonight? Let's cyber.
Her: I got a job started monday
Her: Stfu
Me: Where are you working at?
Her: I'm so glad I'm not your gf
Her: ...
Me: You wish you were.
Me: i make all my money at www.makemoniesonline.com and you can too check it out
Her: What
Me: Go there.
Her: What is it
Me: A site to make money.
Her: And no I don't wish
Me: You do wish. Have a look at the site.
Her: No
Her: Its prob some porn
Me: Why?
Me: How is it porn, look at the name of the site?
Her: You're pushing too hard for me to look at
Me: Ok don't look at it and I'll keep making money.
Her: Ok
Her: Tell me about it
Me: No need you have to see it to believe it.
Me: It explains the whole process.
Her: Whatever
Me: Anyway I have to go. My stomache is hurting. Email me your address and tomorrow I'll send your shit out.
Me: But you have to pay.
Me: ...in flesh...
Her: Email here?
Her: Stfu
Me: No send it to ...
Her: Ok
Me: Bye. Don't have too many wet dreams about me.
Her: You're disgusting

Click to expand...

It didn't work, but at least I tried. I have other ex-girlfriends that will probably just say something like, "Nice!" and know I'm bullshitting. Most of my exes are still friends, but they know I would play a prank like this on them so it's not that good. The good thing is I have guaranteed ass all the time.

I had so much fun doing it.
I had to translate from french the convo I had with an ex-coworker.
We came close on multiple occasions to hit it off. so I always bug her about her bfs.

*************************************
Me: Hey hey... What's up girl???
Her: OMG. been a long time.
Me: Yeah. So? Still working at the same place?
Her: yeah. u still married?
Me: Still with a spineless jellyfish surfer dude???
Her: LOL... he didn't have what it takes to be with me.
Her: does your wife have what it takes?
Me: Well... Yes and No.
Her: ??? listening.
Me: I got divorced and remarried 2 days after.
Her: what? but didn't you have a child with her?
Me: Yeah. And our second boy is due in about 4 months.
Her ???
Me: Look it's simple. I dumped her while she was pregnant.
Her: that's so wrong.
Me: And then got married again.
Me: Just 2 days after.
Her: wrong
Me: And now I'm finally sexually satisfied.
Me: And me and my new love make tons of money online together. I'm on top.
Her: i'm so happy nothing happened between us. jerk.
Me: Well you had your chances... But now I'm on top...
Her: mmmmh
Me: Listen. Wanna make money too on the internet?
Her: whatever.
Me: Hey sweetheart i make all my money at www.makemoniesonline.com and you can too check it out
Her: i'm not your sweetheart
Me: Ok. No prob'. Just check the link and let me know if you want me to teach you too.
Me: My ex-wife didn't want to be taught.
Her: OMG YOU'RE SUCH A JERK
Me: LOL...
Her: i can't believe you did this to me
Me: ROFLMFAO... It's for a contest.
Me: Thank you for your cooperation.
Her: lol. so you're still playing for the same team?
Me: Yeah. And still married.
*************************************************

@ Sanitarium - The roun and roun and roun you go actually made me LOL

xxxx: hi!
nikhil : hi
xxxx: kaise ho? (how are u?)
nikhil: bas theek. tu bata (fine u tell me)
xxxx: kuch nahi yaar monday se col hai (college begins from monday)
nikhil: accha (ok)
nikhil: Hey sweetheart i make all my money at www.makemoniesonline.com and you can too check it out
xxxx: whats this??
nikhil: rem i told u i found a money making site, check it out
xxxx: k
xxxx: sheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
xxxx: pagal hai kya??? ( are u crazy???)
nikhil: arre no really
nikhil: click on it everytime his thing goes up u'll get 1$
xxxx: kuch bhi bakwaas mat kar (dont talk nonsense)
xxxx: sick
xxxx: bye
nikhil: lol arre dekh toh (lol common just check it out)
xxxx: bye
nikhil: ha ha ha


lol sorry for the hindi. actually its funnier in hindi

It does make you wonder whether this is a hermaphrodite or a very good drag.

-- wait, it doesn't?

(me talking to an ex girlfriend I used to date 2 years ago)

Her: Hey buddy whats been going on?
Me: Not too much. How have you been?
Her: Ive been good. What have you been up to ?
Me: Just making money
Me: I started working for myself about 7 months ago. Finally quit my job.
Her: hows that working out for you?
Me: Pretty good.
Me: Hey sweetheart i make all my money at www.makemoniesonline.com and you can too check it out
Her: What do you do?
Me: Well I uhh theres actual a video on that link
Her: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!?
Her: Are you fucking kidding me **(my name)**?
Her: My fucking kids are right in front of me!
Me: You've got kids?!
Her: We've got kids!
Me: What the fuck?
Her: no I dont have kids but dont fucking do that shit!
Her: That shits worse than omg!
Me: LOL youre a bitch

trushafty38 said:

(me talking to an ex girlfriend I used to date 2 years ago)

Her: Hey buddy whats been going on?
Me: Not too much. How have you been?
Her: Ive been good. What have you been up to ?
Me: Just making money
Me: I started working for myself about 7 months ago. Finally quit my job.
Her: hows that working out for you?
Me: Pretty good.
Me: Hey sweetheart i make all my money at www.makemoniesonline.com and you can too check it out
Her: What do you do?
Me: Well I uhh theres actual a video on that link
Her: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!?
Her: Are you fucking kidding me **(my name)**?
Her: My fucking kids are right in front of me!
Me: You've got kids?!
Her: We've got kids!
Me: What the fuck?
Her: no I dont have kids but dont fucking do that shit!
Her: That shits worse than omg!
Me: LOL youre a bitch

Click to expand...

Nothing there children won't see eventually.

HAHAHAHAHA................That too funny

When I first read this post I think Harro is promoting his money making site and then I read all the reply then I think it must be something amazing and when I click it I just start laughing. Well I have a Facebook profile of a sexy girl I must try it with some boys . Let see what their reaction. I update this post as soon as I make it.

I would but i've already scarred most of everybody I know with it... You guys should add the unclosable window and crazy music.

That thing you never forget, when you see it for the first time and the just want to close the damn thing and it just won't, ahh good times, that was way back when i was still in high school....

I think I might try this on another girl to see if I can't get something funnier... all in the name of comedy!!!!

I sent it to a girl that used to live on my street.

Me: Hello!
Her: hey wats up
Me: Not much, just messing around on the computer.
Me: Hey sweetheart i make all my money at www.makemoniesonline.com and you can too check it out
Her: i have a job
Me: you will quit your job when you check that out
Her: it sounds like a pyramid scam
Me: It's not a scam, and it's not like a pyramid, more like a windmill.
Her: FUCK
Her: YOU
Her: i always knew you were a fucking creep
Her: dont ever talk to me again

Then she blocked me. lol...

huh,,first i thought m not gonna do this but when i was talking to this girl,,i thought lets give it a try,wil b fun,,n it backfired,,as expected,,now i m trying to call her and she is not picking up the phone and guess what..she lives in my neighbourhood..i m fucking tensed

This is a old friend from high school that I haven't talked to in about a year.

[FONT=&quot]tchashhow: Hey, what you been up 2?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: nothin. it's been a while. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: what made u message me today?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]tchashhow: u know u my friend.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]tchashhow: I just been really busy. I've started working online[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: working online???[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]tchashhow: yea girl, i'm making a lot of money 2. more than i did working 9-5.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: really. thats good. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]tchashhow: Hey sweetheart i make all my money at www.makemoniesonline.com and you can too check it out[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: sweetheart???[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]tchashhow: did you click the link? [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: no. am i suppossed to?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]tchashhow: yea. u can see how i make my money.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: OMFG![/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: what the hell ********???[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]tchashhow: lmao. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]tchashhow: so... what do you think?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: what is wrong with you?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: now everyones wondering why i have a giant dick on my screen.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: my mom saw it and she wants to talk to you[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: shes sending you a message now[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]tchashhow: lol. r u serious?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: wht the fuck is wrong wit u? u do this for aliving?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]tchashhow: yea. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: doing what?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: who is that?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]tchashhow: u dont want to know.;-)[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: so u make porn now? ur fcking disgusting. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: do your mother know about this?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]tchashhow: LMAO!!![/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]jtolley84: u need to go to church. imma pray 4 u. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]tchashhow: lol. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]tchashhow: hello..........[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]tchashhow: r u there???[/FONT]

Her mother sent me a pm telling me to I quote "NEVER send anything like that to my house again!" lol.

You: Hey sweetheart i make all my money at www.makemoniesonline.com and you can too check it out
Stranger: hi
Stranger: wht
Stranger: r u agent
Stranger: sale benchod
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Here is my entry with an ex of about 8 years ago...dont know what to think, had bit of an abrupt ending....guess ive gota sleep with one eye open from now on...thanks Harro!!lol

ME: hey, how you doing?
HER: GOOD, and i assume you are too?
ME: HEY...howd you know! (just amazing!)
HER: lol
ME: so what you up to?
HER: Just finished cleaning house, taking a break...chatting to some dork online! lol What u doing?
ME: Ha Ha...not funny....i heard his EXTREMELY handsome!
ME: Doing the same thing...except for the cleaning house part..and the taking a break part...;-)
HER: lol...now THATS not funny!
ME: Hey sweetheart i make all my money at www.makemoniesonline.com and you can too check it out
HER: wow..that was kinda random!
ME: yeah, couldnt wait to show you what ive been doing with my time lately!...i just know you'll LOVE getting into it too!
HER: WHAT THTE FUCK!!!
HER: yOU ARE SO FUCKING TWISTED ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY!!
HER: YOU NEED TO SEE SOMEONE ABOUT WHATS GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD!!!
ME: now now...be nice!
HER: After that!!??? NICE?? My sis an cuz were in the room! i shud've known you were pulling some wierd shit!
ME: HA HA...now you know you really shouldnt be watching these kinda things with children in the room!
ME: you gota admit..it was kinda funny!!
HER: yeah..EXCEPT the part where my whole family probly thinks im a big perv now!
ME: lol...yeah sorry about the family thing!
HER: you do realize...
HER: this means war...
ME: LOL...i like!
HER: we will see...
HER: disconnected

Click to expand...

This chick has always been a little looney...i wont lie...im afraid guys! The anticipation of what she's planning is killing me!

always wanted to know who owns that site, anybody in here? is that your site harro?

Sorry guys but I take offense to this...

beaglejuice said:

Sorry guys but I take offense to this...

Click to expand...

If you take offense to this, then you need to find a new line of work..