How well written is this article.

Status
Not open for further replies.

hasan7707

Elite Member
Joined
Jul 15, 2015
Messages
1,715
Reaction score
910
This article was written by a person speaking English as their second language. This article I'm putting down below was printed in the national newspaper of our country.

I was curious how well-written this piece is in your opinions. I'm dropping the article below, please do let me know about your notions. Thank you for your help.

Police Week 2017 commences from today. It is time to once again dwell on the imperative of police professionalism because to ensure good governance, maintenance of public order and peace are preconditions. In doing so, the rule of law is facilitated that characterises a democratic society.

In our parlance, police professionalism would mean organisational, legal and structural change to improve efficiency and effectiveness of the police to meet contemporary policing requirements based on human rights standards and the principle of rule of law.

The police function is distinguished from all others in the field of public protection and public safety by its reliance upon the minimum and not the maximum use of force, its necessary subordination to the decrees of the courts, its strict adherence to the essential rule of law, and its attachment to the concept of human rights.

The above mentioned functions can be performed by a police force having a self-contained organisational structure where there is no distortion of command and no dilution of accountability.

In view of the above, it is necessary to look at the historical perspective and the objective conditions. The reality is that Bangladesh attained independence after a bloody freedom struggle: it adopted a written, liberal democratic Constitution but retained the colonial administrative, police and judicial structures without recasting them to meet the changed situation. So how does one promote liberalism with a colonial mindset?

To illustrate, the colonial police system operated in the light of the imperial ruler's need to establish a relationship of control, coercion and surveillance over a subject population. The question is how such a system would fulfill the aspiration of an independent democratic polity.

Nearer home in India, where democratic system appears to be firmly entrenched, the situation is grim. K.S. Subramanian, a former officer of the Indian Police Service, in his book Political violence and the police in India comments: “Politicisation, criminalisation, corruption, brutality and human rights violations are eating into its vitals. Public order maintenance and political intelligence collection take up most of the time of Indian police with little left for crime prevention, crime detection and service provision. The police leadership has remained a prisoner of the political party in power at all levels and has failed to contribute to organisational renewal and revitalisation, research and training, and the nurturing of professional skills.”

The above reference has been cited to highlight the systemic deficit and to understand what happens when the institution is afflicted by organisational, managerial and policy crises.

Crime management could not be seen in isolation. The reason is simply that the first purpose of the paramilitary police force is to support the state; and their primary role is a political one. The state, rather than the law, is supreme; and the major enemy of the police is the political subversive rather than the criminal.

The organisational objective is important because in the colonial model the policemen are accountable to their superiors, rather than public opinion or the law. Their duties are tabulated for them, and there is little or no room for discretion; clearly, such a police force would dictate a very different relationship between police and society. The distinction between society and State, and between State and government gets blurred.

We have to remember that a police organisation, which is controlled, is a source of great power to its controllers. Therefore, do we see any societal effort to monitor police power carefully and harness it for the good of all? It needs to be remembered that to place police and their power under the sole direction of executive government is to give that arm of government power to enforce its will on society and overrule opposition.

Is it likely that our leaders who came to occupy positions of power after the departure of the British and Pakistanis were enamoured by the administrative and police system left behind by the colonial powers, and enjoyed exercising power and authority, oblivious of their own demand of yesteryears for far-reaching administrative reforms?

Do we witness the public caught in an increasingly norm-free, unpredictable and unjust environment? Who is responsible for transforming policing from the professional imposition of a coherent moral consensus on society into unethical activities?

While the prevalent wisdom of a section of our society to lay all the blame at the door of the politicians is untenable, it is also not in broader public interest to make sweeping observations like “people are not safe even in their bedrooms, rape is common, murders are frequent, mugging is routine like a traffic jam,” without the benefit of appropriate analysis and statistics and cognisance of the broader socio-political perspective. It is perhaps time for substantive police reforms to plug the systemic holes, and control the deviants and where necessary to weed out the bad hats.

In the ultimate analysis, the police officials have to demonstrably prove that civil liberty and enforcement efficiency can harmoniously coexist in a people's republic.
 
Red text, urrrh. Tries too hard to sound intelligent, much simpler ways to write it as it gets a bit boring, I couldn't finish it as I felt I might die before I got to the end.

Yeah I figured they were using too much of complex words to sound authoritative. I guess it's a no-no to learn from them.
 
You can clearly see that it wasnt written by a native. Awkward phrasing.
 
It is what it is, but yes it's over complicated, sentences are too long in places and words used that are quite high brow to the average Sun reader.
 
Red text, urrrh. Tries too hard to sound intelligent, much simpler ways to write it as it gets a bit boring, I couldn't finish it as I felt I might die before I got to the end.
Agreed. The writing isn't bad, but some points do not necessary sound native English. The writer has used a lot of big words to give the impression that they know more than they do. Not a bad article for the right price. I've seen far worse :)
 
You can tell English isn't their first language because they aren't using any contractions ( "It is instead of it's )
 
It’s not bad. Considering they are not native. I only noticed a couple of grammatical mistakes.

I agree with everyone though in that it’s hard to read - too many complex words make it a bit boring.

Just get them to use Yoast SEO or another writing tool that measures readability.
 
On top of trying to sound smart by using words they obviously don't understand, the grammar is horrible. Wouldn't hire this person to write for my sites, not sure how this made it to a newspaper. Obviously not the best quality one.
 
This article is bad, at best. The grammar and punctuation is absolutely horrible just to start. As mentioned the overall phrasing doesn't flow very well, and it is apparent that the writer isn't a native speaker. It's almost confusing in it's overall structure actually which makes it difficult to read. Where do you live? You said this was posted in your National Newspaper. If it is an English speaking country I am amazed that it was posted in any newspaper let alone the the national newspaper. It should have gone to an editor who would be a native English speaker I would imagine and they should have noticed and corrected all of the errors. Here is just a simple example of the first paragraph. Which isn't even a paragraph even in journalism by the way.

Police Week 2017 commences from today. It is time to once again dwell on the imperative of police professionalism because to ensure good governance, maintenance of public order and peace are preconditions. In doing so, the rule of law is facilitated that characterises a democratic society.

The word from should be taken out of the first sentence, the second sentence runs together, doesn't flow well, and sounds strange with the dwell on the imperative part. It should be more like ponder the importance of police professionalism. The next part of that sentence also reads strangely. It also misses punctuation with the way it reads. It should read "because good governance comes from certain preconditions which include the maintenance of public order and peace.

Just my two cents, but if it's not a native English speaking country I can't say what the standard should be.
 
The article is not that good. The introduction threw me off "It is time to once again dwell on the imperative of police professionalism because to ensure good governance, maintenance of public order and peace are preconditions. In doing so, the rule of law is facilitated that characterises a democratic society."
 
This article is bad, at best. The grammar and punctuation is absolutely horrible just to start. As mentioned the overall phrasing doesn't flow very well, and it is apparent that the writer isn't a native speaker. It's almost confusing in it's overall structure actually which makes it difficult to read. Where do you live? You said this was posted in your National Newspaper. If it is an English speaking country I am amazed that it was posted in any newspaper let alone the the national newspaper. It should have gone to an editor who would be a native English speaker I would imagine and they should have noticed and corrected all of the errors. Here is just a simple example of the first paragraph. Which isn't even a paragraph even in journalism by the way.

Police Week 2017 commences from today. It is time to once again dwell on the imperative of police professionalism because to ensure good governance, maintenance of public order and peace are preconditions. In doing so, the rule of law is facilitated that characterises a democratic society.

The word from should be taken out of the first sentence, the second sentence runs together, doesn't flow well, and sounds strange with the dwell on the imperative part. It should be more like ponder the importance of police professionalism. The next part of that sentence also reads strangely. It also misses punctuation with the way it reads. It should read "because good governance comes from certain preconditions which include the maintenance of public order and peace.

Just my two cents, but if it's not a native English speaking country I can't say what the standard should be.

You sound almost as bad as the original.
 
I shot an email to the editors saying a lot of people also agreed to me that this article sucks and what kind of writers were they taming.

And after that, I came to know: the writer is a former police chief in our country. sheesh. that's why he was given this privilege, I believe.

But still, the editors should have done some overhaul to the piece.
 
Wow, if stuff like that can get into newspapers, I may have to change jobs haha...

Anyway, now that we are judging articles, how well is this written?

40 years after the US President Richard Nixon started the global campaign, the ‘War on Drugs’, what do you think has happened? Has the number of drug users declined? Is the world a better place? Unfortunately the answer to these questions are surprisingly negative. The core strategy behind the War on Drugs was to stop supply. As any economist will tell you, reducing supply without reducing demand is a very bad idea. The price goes up, and while this works in most cases, it does not work on drugs. Not only will it not work, it will have the exact opposite effect on the overall picture.


The drug market is not dependent on prices, which is a less offensive way of saying people will buy drugs at whatever cost. So the forced control over supply by the government only encourages drug manufacturers to recruit more traffickers and therefore increase availability. Even if a major supply route is destroyed, drug supply to the end user is not reduced at all. Price goes up, risk goes up, but supply never goes down. So what has 40 years of destroying drug manufacturing and incarcerating drug traffickers yielded? Everyone loves numbers, so here are a few of them.


With a budget of around 30 billion, The US drug enforcement agency has an efficiency of less than 1%, when it comes to stopping the flow of drugs into and inside the US. Even though the US accounts for only 5% of the world’s population, it accounts for 25% of the world’s prison population, a large amount of which comprises of drug traffickers, mainly due to the harsh punishments and mandatory minimums. This implies that even though the drug enforcement agency is doing its work, it does not affect the drug industry at all. Some estimates suggest that the homicide rates in the US is 25 to 75% higher because of the war on drugs. Analysts estimate that wholesale earnings from illicit drug sales range from $13.6 to $49.4 billion annually. In Mexico, around 120,000 people have been murdered between 2006 and 2014, not including the number of missing people which amounts to 27,000, which is more than the death toll of Afghanistan and Iraq war zones during the same period combined.


Keep in mind this is only a part of the full article... I bought this from a competitor of mine on Fiverr just to see what a 4.9 rating is worth.
 
Wow, if stuff like that can get into newspapers, I may have to change jobs haha...

Anyway, now that we are judging articles, how well is this written?

40 years after the US President Richard Nixon started the global campaign, the ‘War on Drugs’, what do you think has happened? Has the number of drug users declined? Is the world a better place? Unfortunately the answer to these questions are surprisingly negative. The core strategy behind the War on Drugs was to stop supply. As any economist will tell you, reducing supply without reducing demand is a very bad idea. The price goes up, and while this works in most cases, it does not work on drugs. Not only will it not work, it will have the exact opposite effect on the overall picture.


The drug market is not dependent on prices, which is a less offensive way of saying people will buy drugs at whatever cost. So the forced control over supply by the government only encourages drug manufacturers to recruit more traffickers and therefore increase availability. Even if a major supply route is destroyed, drug supply to the end user is not reduced at all. Price goes up, risk goes up, but supply never goes down. So what has 40 years of destroying drug manufacturing and incarcerating drug traffickers yielded? Everyone loves numbers, so here are a few of them.


With a budget of around 30 billion, The US drug enforcement agency has an efficiency of less than 1%, when it comes to stopping the flow of drugs into and inside the US. Even though the US accounts for only 5% of the world’s population, it accounts for 25% of the world’s prison population, a large amount of which comprises of drug traffickers, mainly due to the harsh punishments and mandatory minimums. This implies that even though the drug enforcement agency is doing its work, it does not affect the drug industry at all. Some estimates suggest that the homicide rates in the US is 25 to 75% higher because of the war on drugs. Analysts estimate that wholesale earnings from illicit drug sales range from $13.6 to $49.4 billion annually. In Mexico, around 120,000 people have been murdered between 2006 and 2014, not including the number of missing people which amounts to 27,000, which is more than the death toll of Afghanistan and Iraq war zones during the same period combined.


Keep in mind this is only a part of the full article... I bought this from a competitor of mine on Fiverr just to see what a 4.9 rating is worth.
This is a better written article. The one above seems like it's spun.
 
I was thinking the same thing. The first article seems exactly like it came out of a spinning software.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top