How to become an extrovert from being an introvert?

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destinywakes

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I'm 35 male, diverced last year, even lost my good accountant job.

I'm an introvert, I like to spend time of my own and whenever I get free time I just browse this forum.

I don't have much so called friends but few of them really love me and can do anything for me with them only I open up and share my thoughts, feelings.
Im completely broke, being divorced in India with having age tag 35, people judge me whatsoever. I literally fear to attend this family functions but being elder in my family I have to.
I'm not party person but when I had attend family functions I literally feel broken and cry inside my heart why god made my life like this.
People crack jokes on me and make fun of me but I stay calm n silent.
I feel like to overcome and show the world that whatever the shit happens in my life I will fight n still strong.
During the separate phase with my ex wife I completely broken and have suicidal thoughts. But I always think about my Lil sister and brother.
I need few advices from you guys whom I feel like my family members here you all how to be an extrovert n slap on those guys who make fun of me literally in front of everyone.
 
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destinywakes said:
People crack jokes on me and make fun of me but I stay calm n silent
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See? Thats your problem. Next time punch them in the throat
destinywakes said:
During the separate phase with my ex wife I completely broken and have suicidal thoughts. But I always think about my Lil sister and brother.
I need few advices from you guys whom I feel like my family members here you all how to be an extrovert n slap on those guys who make fun of me literally in front of everyone.
Click to expand...
You should not have these thoughts. You should try some subreddits that will help you to become more extroverted. Get a job and also start a couple of websites. You gotta work hard if you dont want to be broke. Go out of your comfort zone and meet new people.
Good luck!
 
1.Stop caring and giving a shit about what others say or else you will be the same forever.
2.Practice is the only way that can help you out to being an extrovert.
3.It's haunting in the start but it's easy once you get habitual to it.
 
It's far better to stay alone than being surrounded by pessimists.

Find something you could look forward to & work hard at it. It's quite usual and i've been through the same. Being an extrovert doesn't necessarily make you a better person unless you're hanging with people who care for you.

Don't follow the m.asses, pal.
 
Why!!??? I am an introvert too, and I love being one. What is wrong with being an Introvert? Just avoid bad people, they are harmful for you anyway. Talk to a psychiatrist if you have a behavioural problem, or you are suicidal. That's a separate issue. Man, learn to embrace who you are; instead of trying to kill yourself.

Edit: Also, go get another girl. Try to get someone who understands you a bit more.
 
destinywakes said:
Im completely broke, being divorced in India with having age tag 35, people judge me whatsoever.
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Always look for the silver linings in life. I'm older than you, for example, and have never been married. You've got friends you claim will do anything for you. That's great! Most of my old friends have gotten married and I feel like we fit a little less in each others' lives. Most of my social life is now in online communities (social media, gaming, Discord, forums, etc), and the occasional family member.

I was in some relations in recent history, but I feel I may have a problem in that department. You see, I was in love once with a girl I met when I was 18. I was head-over-heels in love -- like the kind of love you sing in the shower about (yes, that was me). It's a bit of a personal story, so I'll spare the details. The point I'm getting at is though I've dated some really great women along the way (some truly great, great women who still mean a great deal to me and who I'd still do almost anything for), I've never fallen as deep with anyone before or since the one I feel may have been "the love of my life".

So here I am. Older than you. Never married. Smaller circle of "IRL" friends. Heavily judged. But I don't care. Some days I do, but there are usually triggers for it (being at a movie theater and seeing couples holding hands, for example). On most other days, I don't even think about it and it doesn't bother me.

I guess what I'm saying is that sure, it could be better, but it could also be worse. I feel like the last couple years of being single has taught me more about myself than being coupled with someone ever could (but that's just me). YMMV.

On a side note, I may have met someone, so I'll see how it goes. ;)
 
ziko12345 said:
See? Thats your problem. Next time punch them in the throat

You should not have these thoughts. You should try some subreddits that will help you to become more extroverted. Get a job and also start a couple of websites. You gotta work hard if you dont want to be broke. Go out of your comfort zone and meet new people.
Good luck!
Thanks for your advice, I personally like to meet new people, exploring new places keep me stay motivated. Yeah I already started building one of my site.
aman khattar said:
1.Stop caring and giving a shit about what others say or else you will be the same forever.
2.Practice is the only way that can help you out to being an extrovert.
3.It's haunting in the start but it's easy once you get habitual to it.
Yeah I'm trying hard to transform to be a better of me hope I will.
HustleTong said:
It's far better to stay alone than being surrounded by pessimists.

Find something you could look forward to & work hard at it. It's quite usual and i've been through the same. Being an extrovert doesn't necessarily make you a better person unless you're hanging with people who care for you.

Don't follow the m.asses, pal.
I agree, it's better to be alone than to be with shit people, I'm trying hard to change the way things going on in my life, hope I will succeed on it, thanks.
Gogol said:
Why!!??? I am an introvert too, and I love being one. What is wrong with being an Introvert? Just avoid bad people, they are harmful for you anyway. Talk to a psychiatrist if you have a behavioural problem, or you are suicidal. That's a separate issue. Man, learn to embrace who you are; instead of trying to kill yourself.

Edit: Also, go get another girl. Try to get someone who understands you a bit more.
I feel like we have a small world compare to extroverts, they open up pretty quick and hang on and mingle with new people easily. Yeah I will avoid the shit ones who makes me discomfort. I'm planning to remarry hope everything will be settled alright.
Toz said:
Always look for the silver linings in life. I'm older than you, for example, and have never been married. You've got friends you claim will do anything for you. That's great! Most of my old friends have gotten married and I feel like we fit a little less in each others' lives. Most of my social life is now in online communities (social media, gaming, Discord, forums, etc), and the occasional family member.

I was in some relations in recent history, but I feel I may have a problem in that department. You see, I was in love once with a girl I met when I was 18. I was head-over-heels in love -- like the kind of love you sing in the shower about (yes, that was me). It's a bit of a personal story, so I'll spare the details. The point I'm getting at is though I've dated some really great women along the way (some truly great, great women who still mean a great deal to me and who I'd still do almost anything for), I've never fallen as deep with anyone before or since the one I feel may have been "the love of my life".

So here I am. Older than you. Never married. Smaller circle of "IRL" friends. Heavily judged. But I don't care. Some days I do, but there are usually triggers for it (being at a movie theater and seeing couples holding hands, for example). On most other days, I don't even think about it and it doesn't bother me.

I guess what I'm saying is that sure, it could be better, but it could also be worse. I feel like the last couple years of being single has taught me more about myself than being coupled with someone ever could (but that's just me). YMMV.

On a side note, I may have met someone, so I'll see how it goes. ;)
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:)
 
Regardless of your believes, there is no God listening to your prayers. You should work hard to make your life better.

The harder you work, the luckier you get and you feel blessed.

I would suggest you to join the local gym and be a regular. Or join a sports club. It will not only improve your health, but will also give you an opportunity to meet new people and socialize.
 
I'm an introvert too and I love being one, I read on this forum more than I talk tbh. But since I am a graphic artist / marketer, I had to get out of my comfort zone. Which means talking a bit more and trying new things.

If you read this forum a lot, then you know IM forces you to learn and adapt to new things.

Maybe build up confidence by doing videos of yourself just talking? Expressing whatever's on your mind. I was doing this thing on Instagram called Random Talking Video. It actually worked. I'm still an introvert but I can engage and talk to people without shying away or being awkward.

Good luck!
 
You don’t need to become an extrovert, but you do need to stand your ground and let people know when you feel disrespected or joked about. I’m an introvert myself, although I don’t take shit from from people nor care about what most people think about me. You mentioned that you stay calm and silent when being joked about, if it annoys you, you have to stand your ground and tell them how things are. Surround yourself with the right people and cut off the pessimists. Keep pushing my man, better times are ahead as long as you believe in yourself.
 
Its not your fault dude. Our society isn't really that advanced to fully understand others. Just dont care about them. Even if they just make fun of you, just ignore. They are just too stupid to care about others feeling. Find a new job and get interested in new things.
 
you are not the only one who cares about the opinions of others. spit on everything, the main thing is that you feel good
 
Monzani said:
I am also introverted, accept who you are and enjoy your own talents, don't try to change your own essence
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And enjoy the perks, too.

What are the perks, if someone asks...

1) You do not have stupid friends. You do not have enemies that you call friends. You are very specific, and you know whom you are dealing with.
2) Because you did not spend your summer partying, you probably studied and did something productive and made a million by now.
3) You are an asset to your family, because you are closer to them than an extrovert will ever be (no offence meant :p). Simply because you don't like to go out too much, and you prefer to bond with your family instead.
4) Your GF/BF would be 10000 times luckier than others, because you do not like to experiment. You are with her/him because you "really" love her/him.

and so on..


Please, people... Try to be whom you are. You are like this for a reason....
 
1. First problem is that you feel you have to change to be an extrovert
2. Because of this, you do not lead your life the way you want but the way you think the people around you want you to live will make you happy.
3. Introvert is great, people are assholes


Live the life you want and not the one that society seems fit for you. And if you are divorced and penny less...be happy there are no children involved and you are free as a bird...

Tip: find a introvert GF and be introvert together haha. Works great for me. Game together, chill together, play together, Netflix together, talk trash together. We both enjoy each other's company and kind of laugh at the people who chase society standards like drinking, party, getting kids, married bla bla bla.
 
I know exactly what you mean. For many years I have been attempting to become "extroverted". It all comes down to not giving a fuck about what people think of you, once you are in that state, you become comfortable in social situations and then you finally start being more talkative, because in the end everyone has an opinion on something. All conversations, in the end, come down to giving your opinion/view on something/someone. Keep that in mind and stop giving a fuck.
 
Meet new people and talk to them a lot. Try to attend some networking events near you after COVID 19. And travel a lot if you like travelling
 
destinywakes said:
I'm 35 male, diverced last year, even lost my good accountant job.

I'm an introvert, I like to spend time of my own and whenever I get free time I just browse this forum.

I don't have much so called friends but few of them really love me and can do anything for me with them only I open up and share my thoughts, feelings.
Im completely broke, being divorced in India with having age tag 35, people judge me whatsoever. I literally fear to attend this family functions but being elder in my family I have to.
I'm not party person but when I had attend family functions I literally feel broken and cry inside my heart why god made my life like this.
People crack jokes on me and make fun of me but I stay calm n silent.
I feel like to overcome and show the world that whatever the shit happens in my life I will fight n still strong.
During the separate phase with my ex wife I completely broken and have suicidal thoughts. But I always think about my Lil sister and brother.
I need few advices from you guys whom I feel like my family members here you all how to be an extrovert n slap on those guys who make fun of me literally in front of everyone.
Click to expand...
Hey mate.

You seem like you're self-assessing and giving yourself negative labels you don't need to. Losing your good accountant job just means the opportunity to challenge yourself and find a new path for making money.

Being 35 isn't a bad age tag, there are loads of 55 year old ladies that would love to get a toy boy happening :)

Just joking, but being 35 isn't any worse than you let it be.. if you think 35 is bad, you'll act that way, then people will detect that. There are 50 year old guys who don't care about their age, just live life and have fun, and people detect their character, not their age.

If you have never done much exercise, going to the gym can be one of the best ways to rewire your brain as a guy to be more confident in social situations. You don't need to even go to a gym if you don't have much disposable income, just look up videos on "body weight exercises for men" and start doing a little every day. It's not about how your body looks, it's about how it releases endorphins in your brain and also makes your male hormones start working more.

When you get to 35 your testosterone, growth hormone etc has been dropping for about 5 years and testosterone isn't just about being physically "male", men with lower testosterone have a higher chance of depression, anxiety, and as a knock on effect, can make you more prone to suicidal thoughts and other negative thought patterns. Doing exercise boosts your psychological coping skills, it's the quickest way to help yourself - you'll feel much better after a couple of weeks of consistent exercise. If you can, do weights.. like bench press and dumbbells etc.. that kind of training is particularly good for your psychology and physiology.

Introversion isn't a bad thing either. A lot of people are introverted and happy, just meaning that you get recharged when you're on your own, and then use your energy when you're around people, instead of being recharged by being around people.

If it's making you unhappy though and you wish you were more outgoing, then it's like anything else, you have to practice over and over again. If you would like to connect with people in a better way, you can't go from where you are now to the life of the party in one step.. it takes time.

The real thing that needs to change is the truths that you have in your mind about yourself - ie. "I am not someone that socialises at a family party".. the only way this "truth" in your mind can change is if your mind sees you socialising over and over again, even if it doesn't go well to begin with. You have to not care about things going badly and accept that it will not go well a lot of times, but that eventually it will. You'll find that it will surprise you that after trying and trying, one time you will have a great social experience at a family party or elsewhere, and then your perception of yourself will start to change.

Like other people said though, if your nature is introverted, learn to accept and be ok with that, and then be selective about when you choose to interact with other people.
 
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