nuclearrap
Power Member
- Apr 19, 2011
- 588
- 1,922
I was just a little kid when I naturally became drawn to energetic foreign music pop or r&b or EDM etc. No one in my family had any connection to rap music or hip hop culture, whether through language, culture, or musical taste.
I remember watching American-style hood movies on TV. The clothing, the energetic music, and the attitude all caught my attention. I was only four or five years old at the time, so I didn't even know what any of it was called.
I was born and raised in a warm coastal city by the sea. And when I was 10, I would see graffiti on the walls and kids breakdancing in the streets while Eminem's "Lose Yourself" played. Back then, I thought their moves looked just like Eddy from the fighting game Tekken. The oversized clothes, the rap music, and teenagers doing flips through the air and spraying the walls with graffiti fascinated me.
At the age of 12, I got a toy keyboard, a drum, and a flute. I started making random little songs by myself and recording them on a cassette recorder. My childhood was filled with bullying and violence from my father, teachers, and classmates. I realized I could release all of that anger and frustration and traumas through this style of music.
My life felt very similar to Eminem's. When I was 15, I discovered artists like 2Pac. I watched all of his movies and documentaries, researched his life, and listened to his albums. In many ways, I saw myself in him. Always researched about that culture even from early '80s.
That was also when I started producing beats seriously. I recorded songs in a home studio, and throughout high school my music became something many people talked about when I was just 16. Between the ages of 15 and 22, I produced a huge number of beats. My style was aggressive and hard-hitting. But as life became more demanding and serious, my interest gradually faded and I slowed down my production.
At one point, I dreamed of becoming a globally famous rapper. Today my dreams and vision have changed a lot, and I've lost interest in many things in life. Still, there's a part of me that wonders what could have been. Even now, I still listen to well-made rap music while traveling or working out. Somehow, it always gives me energy.
I know there is amazing music in many different genres, but to this day, nothing moves me the way a great rap track with that classic '90s or early 2000s sound does.
Even in everyday life, I still have certain habits. Rhythms are constantly playing in my head. I find myself tapping on tables or making beat sounds with my mouth without even realizing it. I guess I was naturally gifted for this kind of music. Many people who heard me perform in person told me they saw great potential in me.
Maybe I really could have become successful in this field. But because of the language barrier, cultural differences, life's circumstances, and the fact that I eventually focused on other interests, I chose not to pursue it seriously. Even so, hip-hop culture and everything I experienced through it will always have a place in my heart. It was something I felt deep in my soul.
To truly understand me, you would have to be me. I struggled, dedicated myself, and loved this culture just as deeply as many of the most successful people in it. Even when I registered on this forum, those dreams were still alive, and they were reflected in my username. Even today, the word "rap" is still part of my nickname here on BHW.
Even my own family and many of my relatives looked down on me because I loved this music. They never understood it. The true spirit of hip-hop isn't something everyone can understand.
For anyone interested in hearing another part of my life story, here's a link to another thread:
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/have-you-ever-been-bullied.1740990/
I remember watching American-style hood movies on TV. The clothing, the energetic music, and the attitude all caught my attention. I was only four or five years old at the time, so I didn't even know what any of it was called.
I was born and raised in a warm coastal city by the sea. And when I was 10, I would see graffiti on the walls and kids breakdancing in the streets while Eminem's "Lose Yourself" played. Back then, I thought their moves looked just like Eddy from the fighting game Tekken. The oversized clothes, the rap music, and teenagers doing flips through the air and spraying the walls with graffiti fascinated me.
At the age of 12, I got a toy keyboard, a drum, and a flute. I started making random little songs by myself and recording them on a cassette recorder. My childhood was filled with bullying and violence from my father, teachers, and classmates. I realized I could release all of that anger and frustration and traumas through this style of music.
My life felt very similar to Eminem's. When I was 15, I discovered artists like 2Pac. I watched all of his movies and documentaries, researched his life, and listened to his albums. In many ways, I saw myself in him. Always researched about that culture even from early '80s.
That was also when I started producing beats seriously. I recorded songs in a home studio, and throughout high school my music became something many people talked about when I was just 16. Between the ages of 15 and 22, I produced a huge number of beats. My style was aggressive and hard-hitting. But as life became more demanding and serious, my interest gradually faded and I slowed down my production.
At one point, I dreamed of becoming a globally famous rapper. Today my dreams and vision have changed a lot, and I've lost interest in many things in life. Still, there's a part of me that wonders what could have been. Even now, I still listen to well-made rap music while traveling or working out. Somehow, it always gives me energy.
I know there is amazing music in many different genres, but to this day, nothing moves me the way a great rap track with that classic '90s or early 2000s sound does.
Even in everyday life, I still have certain habits. Rhythms are constantly playing in my head. I find myself tapping on tables or making beat sounds with my mouth without even realizing it. I guess I was naturally gifted for this kind of music. Many people who heard me perform in person told me they saw great potential in me.
Maybe I really could have become successful in this field. But because of the language barrier, cultural differences, life's circumstances, and the fact that I eventually focused on other interests, I chose not to pursue it seriously. Even so, hip-hop culture and everything I experienced through it will always have a place in my heart. It was something I felt deep in my soul.
To truly understand me, you would have to be me. I struggled, dedicated myself, and loved this culture just as deeply as many of the most successful people in it. Even when I registered on this forum, those dreams were still alive, and they were reflected in my username. Even today, the word "rap" is still part of my nickname here on BHW.
Even my own family and many of my relatives looked down on me because I loved this music. They never understood it. The true spirit of hip-hop isn't something everyone can understand.
For anyone interested in hearing another part of my life story, here's a link to another thread:
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/have-you-ever-been-bullied.1740990/
