How do i stop seeking other people's Attention/Validation?

I have worked very hard throughout my life and have achieved a good amount of success at a very young age but this is something that has really got into my head and has affected my behavior.

Whenever i talk to someone i get this feeling that the person won't respect me unless i tell him about my success.

In fact when i talk to any random person i have this HUGE urge to tell him about my online success. Somehow i feel that people will not respect me until i talk to them about my success.

It's like i am seeking validation/approval of other people. I am not self-satisfied or content with my own success. I feel i am not successful until other people consider me successful.

And these feelings have caused me a lot of unhappiness.

And most of this is due to the fact that when i was in college, my teachers and colleagues always thought of me as a random dude and i never got that attention and i always wanted to prove them wrong.

Trust me, it was very difficult to write this but i really wanted to get this off my chest.

How do i solve this?

People may also not respect you at all when you brag about your success all the time.
Success is not equal to respect as successful person may be douchebag.

People will (or wont) respect you because of who you are, not how much you make.

Edit:
Long time ago I was bartender in one place. There was a guy, every time I saw him he was bragging about how much he make, how many companies he owns. Noone liked him except of few gold diggers. Dont be that guy.

If you tell someone "look how successful I am" people can think that:
- you are just telling some random bs (if you claim you make alooot a month)
- you have zero confidence so you talk about money
- they can like/respect you because of your success/money but in this case they may be gold diggers - you dont want such people around you.
- they can consider something totaly different as beeing succesful and what you tell them is worth nothing or close to nothing.
- they can feel like shit because they make nothing compared to you, as result they wont like/respect you.

Probably the problem is elswhere. You want someones respect/attention or you feel like shit, your "status" is tied to others people opinions. Fuck what other people think, you really care what all these morons think about you? Such approach is equal to lack of confidence, maybe good psychotherapist could help you.

I feel i am not successful until other people consider me successful.

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You will be succesful when other people will love you or give you a hand when you are in shithole. Rest can be bought (with few exceptions).

>>How do i stop seeking other people's Attention/Validation?

Don't ask on a forum would be a good start.

In all seriousness, you would be better to seek mental health advice on a forum which is not about black hat SEO. The advice you get here is in all likelihood sub standard at best.

People don't generally respect others based on their success they have achieved
That's mostly all formalities to attempt to remain as neutral as possible or to gain a favor later on.
You need to first be proud of what you done/achieve and you need to respect yourself
School doesn't mean shit most of the time, like many kids, I been told by one of my teacher and I quote, "You will never amount to anything in your life, you are useless".

I know someone with similar temperament as you, and you know what I think?
Annoying, conceited, vain and a dick who needs to get over themselves.

fasttrak said:

>>How do i stop seeking other people's Attention/Validation?

Don't ask on a forum would be a good start.

In all seriousness, you would be better to seek mental health advice on a forum which is not about black hat SEO. The advice you get here is in all likelihood sub standard at best.

Click to expand...

there is a reason why i wrote this on blackhat lounge and not on SEO section.

For me, it's low self-esteem
Be more direct and broad in your speech, because the kind of people who talk about their own success often sound arrogant or selfish, and people don't like to talk about the success of others, either out of boredom or envy.

Do something new that doesn’t involve money or material things, but that empty would be proud of. Focus on that and you’ll find that you start talking about it to people rather than about your material success.

First you make the money. Then when you make the money...

Hm, thats all i got

I agree with them, it's probably because of low self-esteem. But OP, I think there is hope for you yet. The mere fact that you acknowledged your shortcoming is already a HUGE step towards the right direction. In some cases, that's all you really need. It might not happen overnight, but your awareness of this will make it easier and easier to prevent yourself from talking about it to every random person you come across.

Maybe try doing some new activities. It's good for character development

Harnur said:

I have worked very hard throughout my life and have achieved a good amount of success at a very young age but this is something that has really got into my head and has affected my behavior.
Whenever i talk to someone i get this feeling that the person won't respect me unless i tell him about my success.
when i talk to any random person i have this HUGE urge to tell him about my online success. Somehow i feel that people will not respect me until i talk to them about my success.

Click to expand...

fck what others think about you, and never feel the need to prove yourself
people either take you as you are, or fck em.

Harnur said:

I have worked very hard throughout my life and have achieved a good amount of success at a very young age but this is something that has really got into my head and has affected my behavior.

Whenever i talk to someone i get this feeling that the person won't respect me unless i tell him about my success.

In fact when i talk to any random person i have this HUGE urge to tell him about my online success. Somehow i feel that people will not respect me until i talk to them about my success.

It's like i am seeking validation/approval of other people. I am not self-satisfied or content with my own success. I feel i am not successful until other people consider me successful.

And these feelings have caused me a lot of unhappiness.

And most of this is due to the fact that when i was in college, my teachers and colleagues always thought of me as a random dude and i never got that attention and i always wanted to prove them wrong.

Trust me, it was very difficult to write this but i really wanted to get this off my chest.

How do i solve this?

Click to expand...

sounds like you could use a psychotherapist mate. no shame in that.

Harnur said:

I have worked very hard throughout my life and have achieved a good amount of success at a very young age but this is something that has really got into my head and has affected my behavior.

Whenever i talk to someone i get this feeling that the person won't respect me unless i tell him about my success.

In fact when i talk to any random person i have this HUGE urge to tell him about my online success. Somehow i feel that people will not respect me until i talk to them about my success.

It's like i am seeking validation/approval of other people. I am not self-satisfied or content with my own success. I feel i am not successful until other people consider me successful.

And these feelings have caused me a lot of unhappiness.

And most of this is due to the fact that when i was in college, my teachers and colleagues always thought of me as a random dude and i never got that attention and i always wanted to prove them wrong.

Trust me, it was very difficult to write this but i really wanted to get this off my chest.

How do i solve this?

Click to expand...

I would suggest following Naval on Twitter or read the book called Naval's almanac

I read this quote somewhere and always carried it with me : Soon as you stop giving a shit, you start living.

Harnur said:

I have worked very hard throughout my life and have achieved a good amount of success at a very young age but this is something that has really got into my head and has affected my behavior.

Whenever i talk to someone i get this feeling that the person won't respect me unless i tell him about my success.

In fact when i talk to any random person i have this HUGE urge to tell him about my online success. Somehow i feel that people will not respect me until i talk to them about my success.

It's like i am seeking validation/approval of other people. I am not self-satisfied or content with my own success. I feel i am not successful until other people consider me successful.

And these feelings have caused me a lot of unhappiness.

And most of this is due to the fact that when i was in college, my teachers and colleagues always thought of me as a random dude and i never got that attention and i always wanted to prove them wrong.

Trust me, it was very difficult to write this but i really wanted to get this off my chest.

How do i solve this?

Click to expand...

Stick to people who never saw the success but are willing to know you and respect you, I'm not a successful guy, for now, I surround myself with people that respected me from the moment they have seen me, I Also look at those people like an investment, If you think people are no showing the same respect as you do F them and move on surround yourself with people who don't give a shit if your successful or not,

Qualifying yourself to others based on career success is pretty common, I'm sure we've all had moments where we've struggled with it.

What I've found to work for me is having an ecosystem of things that make me feel good outside of career results.

For example:
Having friends I can hang out with who don't judge me based on my work and career results.
Having a hobby that makes me present and engaged, where I can enjoy doing it just because I like the process, instead of chasing a result.
Reading biographies and autobiographies, realizing there are people who had far,far, far greater impact than me and stayed humble.

They won't respect you just because you earn a lot...
Maybe they will think that you only brag...
Or if you make much more money than them maybe they will feel insecure or envy...which is much worst than the lack of respect...
Or maybe they will start question all the time how you did that exactly. ...Do you need that?

Depends on your age and few other factors. Think about stopping it.

Why stop seeking? Cause someone can gain your trust by validating constantly and manipulate you.

You don't need to do it consciously. Just find a different reason behind your actions.

Don't say you seek validation. Say you seek wealth and comfort.

Good luck.

It's your perception lying. Maybe someone told you people like you are attention wh...? No.

Since I have no time to resolve the issue, call a psychologist and a psychiatrist.

They will help you to understand it. If you are depressed as you said in one of your posts, this might be the issue.

Before I started talking with a specialist, I believed what other people told me about myself held some crazy amount of truth.

Living a lie by giving fucks when you are depressed or simply have unresolved issues is a waste of time.

There is nothing worse than being manipulated due to your vulnerabilities. You don't sound like this but psychopaths are everywhere.

Imagine a girl one day will take all your wealth from you due to your vulnerability. Secure yourself right now or ignore it. It's your choice. But ignoring it and resolving without help is a bad decision.

Hint: successful people dont have to tell others that they are successful.

Part of being an adult normally is you stop caring about what people think someone will always be better at you than something looks or money or fame wise or something else if you need attention or validation of people all the time you are lacking being mature to me unless you are like aged 21 or younger .

For example I love ferrets if someone tells me my ferrets are ugly I will not stop having them or loving them.

I like Supermario movie from the 1990's which most people claim it sucks or worst movie made does not make me stop liking the movie either way.

You should do what you want in life not do it to make everyone else happy or like or love you .

If your I guess friend like you for the money you have then do a test on them claim this"Hi I lost all my money can you help me?" if everyone ditches then you found up your money or success did not make them like you at all.

​

polecat said:

Part of being an adult normally is you stop caring about what people think someone will always be better at you than something looks or money or fame wise or something else if you need attention or validation of people all the time you are lacking naturally to me unless you are like aged 21 or younger .

For example I love ferrets if someone tells me my ferrets are ugly I will not stop having them or loving them.

I like Supermario movie from the 1990's which most people claim it sucks or worst movie made does not make me stop liking the movie either way.

You should do what you want in life not do it to make everyone else happy or like or love you .

If your I guess friend like you for the money you have then do a test on them claim this"Hi I lost all my money can you help me?" if everyone ditches then you found up your money or success did not make them like you at all.

​

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The age makes you realize what's wrong and so on.

Some are never taught the lesson and live miserably for decades.

It's just the matter of realization people are manipulative and their intentions aren't always transparent.

One should seek to live an independent life and have a very strong sense of constraints.

This is not a good idea to see other people as the source of truth.

People are not omniscient gods that verify and check stuff for you. With this mindset, someone would be able to destroy one's empire with a single insult.

First the destruction would be inialized in one's head. Then they would start to believe they are worthless and get depressed.