Hiring E-Social Networking Guru

If you are reading this I hope that you have skillzzz...on several sites you can buy fb friends for 5 bucks here and 10bucks there, increase youtube likes here bla bla bla now...what I am looking for is someone who has got the tools (and you need to prove it) and resources to legally by fb, youtube and twitter rules increase my facebook likes, youtube views and followers. This isnt a gig, this is something i need monthly. So...what I want is my personal e-social netoworking guru that takes care of my stuff. Pay is 75$ /month. Yes you can probably make this much by selling some noob some facebook likes here and there but this would be a monthly thing that is constant hence why I want you on my staff. AGAIN....needs to know thier stuff and tell me what they can on average provide to me. PM if interested.