Help stealth account item return!

So I have a stealth account so obviously the address on it is not mine. Now usually when I get returns I will talk to the buyer and ask him to please send it to my real address as the one on my ebay is outdated. Usually this is no problem and I just refund them once I get the package. But the one dude never answered me and out of nowhere sent it, via ebays return system. So now I have a problem. Its ups ground so I can ask him to change the address, but a few concerns I have.
1.) Since it is being officially done by ebay and they don't refund till its arrived at its location, aka the location on my stealth ebay, will shit get messed up?
2.) If I do have him change it will ebay notice and give me the b&. The address is an address associated with an already banned account.
3.) If I let it go to the wrong address out of fear of getting banned, what will happen? What will/can the people who receive it do?
Thanks for any help!

The simple way I do this say can he return it to my returns department, they deal with all the stock returns and give them my address. People are not really bothered where they return it as long as they get their refund.

It also depends if you are happy to lose the value of the item. I don't think he will include a return address so the people in the stealth agrees will just keep it.