Help me perfect the message.

Hey, so im about to send out a "your website is awful, you need my amazing design services" letter.

So far im planning to add:

• Are you happy with your website, if not read on.
• Side by side shot of what the website looks like currently, and what it could look like.
• The importance of great design.

What else can I add to make the client realize they need to up there website and invest in my services?

Don't forget to mention something about being able to attract customers to spend more with your design. In the end I think you'll get a deal if you can prove to them your design will bring them more business.

You could also include a competitor website or two and note how they're much more user friendly or more appealing.

What kind of services are you offering? After you know what to offer, you can persuade your clisnts with the strength of of your business. IE, if you offer logo designs, just tell them about how you can improve it. (The same goes w other kind of stuff)

If there site is very bad and awful. I wouldn't make a solid statement / go direct promoting approach.

I will probably take a screenshot of their site vs. one of their competitors; and maybe put something like "who will potential customers trust more"? (something along these lines). I think they already know the answer themselves without me selling my service directly at all.

Add this image of kelly brook so you can get what you want.

Show them one you've improved - side by side - with info about how it helped them increase sales/revenue. That will get their attention. Why spend money to make something pretty vs. spending money to make more money.

promise better traffic/revenue with an improved site.thats the no1 angle imo

I'm trying to do the same at the moment and I think it's a bad idea to PROMISE something actually.

I'd talk about it in a more "philosophic" or hypothetical way, you know. As originalposter originally posted ^^

Consider this;

Is your website currently portraying your business, as you want it to be perceived?

First impressions, are as important on the internet as they are in real life. From a design perspective, when I first saw your website I thought #enter bad comment here#.

Your potential customers will be thinking this too, which will be losing you money!

I'm here to help put that money back in your pocket by #enter your amazing service here#.

#################

The above is just one of the many routes you could take, how effective your campaign is will rely upon many things. Split test everything and gather as much data as you can. What works for one business sector wont necessarily work for another, and what failed for one sector may be successful in another!

Try and try again until you get it right, you'll find success when you learn to persevere and accept failure as valuable data.

If any of the above doesn't make sense I blame it on the vodka!

I need something which makes them literally go "crap, I need to give this man my money cause my site sucks", but its also important not to make them think "who is this guy thats just giving my site abuse". Fine line I reckon.

Add in your portfolio, in my experience that is going to be a selling point or a sticking point down the road. If they dont like your work, you will work on closing them but they wont be interested. If they like your work, they will be interested in moving forward.

Give it to them upfront, and save yourself some time on the backend.