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Help me get my stuff together

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by lau281, Sep 2, 2015.

  1. lau281

    lau281 Registered Member

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    Hello ,

    I've been a long time on this forum already and learned everything for Internet Marketing here, really this forum is just top notch

    But now comes my struggle, I've been working with internet marketing since i was 15 (i'm 21 now) and i got most of the stuff down i'm interested in (FB,IG,YT,Adwords,..)

    But my social life is killing me. The ages 15-19 where good (i was still in highschool back then so i faced people everyday, new things happend)

    Then at the age of 19 i met my current girlfriend and since then things changed, i only have sitting at home and working on my own online stuff and her left. (and hanging out with my buddys now and then)

    And i know some people think that's awesome what do you need more? Well the prob is i'm a very social person and since my GF my social life went from casualy partying,traveling,talking to girls and so on to only her and there is no other thing expect her. (mainly because she is pretty jealous to and i'm not allowed to talk with my old friends and so on )

    Also i worked a year which really blown my brains out, i hated it so much but i just did it for making some money but really having a regular job makes me depressed (I'm not lazy but i did a job in a sport store which i thought i will love cause i workout daily and stuff but i got all the sh*tty tasks and was underpaid like for example i designed them a full website where they make $$$$ with and kept it up to date and only got ?300 for it (?7.5/hour) )

    Then i had some vacation work also in a clothing store but quited there soon to cause only thing i needed to do is stand there the whole day and if someone passes by i need to ask if i can help, and then go stand back like a statue, flipside was i had colleges of my age so that kept it a bit interesting.

    Ok so for this year, i dont want to make the wrong decisions again and do something i end up not like doing , and i've thinked countles weeks of what do i want to do in my life???
    Answer: What i love doing and that is make money online with social media/clickbank/adsense websites and so on
    Problem: I feel empty when i'm sitting all day at home (besides going to the gym) but i love Internet Marketing but i hate the have no social life feeling..

    I want to follow a course of Social Media Marketing this year (even though i know i not gonna learn much because here they are very new to the whole Social Media Marketing thing) just to get under the people daily again cause i feel more complete when i have someone to talk to expect my GF and my buddys that i see weekly

    Thing is just there doesnt happen much exiting anymore in my life and im still young, but i got a goal (make my own brand in the fitness industry through IG promotion, have a couple of Adsense sites , grow my Youtube , .. )

    But i feel just empty even though i'm doing good on IM, i feel empty..

    Can you guys help me out with this problem? Maybe one of you experienced the same feeling
     
  2. GaByoo7

    GaByoo7 Newbie

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    We all have our problems, most of us don´t have a¨dream job¨ thats why we´re learning every day valuable information about get things right and have an extra income or even live from that. I apreciate all users that posts their methods/journeys/etc, every info is good.
    Its good to set your own goals, but specially try and spend time getting closer to your goals, I see every day posts here on BHW of succes stories and that´s motivating me on my journey to my goal.
    Sorry for my bad English. Hope it helps
     
  3. keadams26

    keadams26 Regular Member

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    Big problem here. If your GF is the focal point of your life, with her not "allowing" you to talk to your old friends, you need to find a new GF. First of all, are you a man or what? She shouldn't "allow" you to do jack shit. This spells disaster from the start. She needs to be someone that enhances your life instead of defining it.
    This is also a problem. In one part of your quote you're talking about how you're a very social person and, next you're talking about how you love making money online. I hate to say it but those two rarely go hand in hand. If you're a very social person, chances are good that you will lack the focus required to make much money online. Instead of sitting down, focusing on writing articles, backlinking, etc., you are going to be easily distracted by messages, emails, phone calls, and keeping up with social appearances. The bottom line is you need to figure out if you REALLY want to make money online or if you are just wanting to use it as extra beer money for partying. If you want to make a living in this game, you have to get serious about it and treat it like a real business. You need focus.
     
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  4. DanDanger

    DanDanger Junior Member

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  5. lau281

    lau281 Registered Member

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    That's good advice i needed to hear, this line made a connection in my head "She needs to be someone that enhances your life instead of defining it."


    And i get your second point also but maybe i writed it down wrong, I'm very social and love to meet new people but also if i need to work on something i'm focused on that subject , i know the difference between work and relax time , I didn't party in months/years though i just miss the good times i had with my friends back then. (sometimes you just need to put your mind off things for a night and have fun)

    I really want to make money with this but like i said i feel so empty cause we all know you not gonna be making $$$$ in a overnight it takes time and nobody in my family / surrounding belivies in internet marketing cause they dont know it so that adds a lot of pressure to, cause they always want me to do other things then 'waste my time on something that not gonna happen'

    but thanks for the good advice !
     
  6. Tuff Dreamer

    Tuff Dreamer Registered Member

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    Hey man I know how you feel, lots of people don't understand because they've never been through something like this but when you have it it feels like your life is empty in more ways than 1. Recently I started working out and it's been helping me just to settle down and gather all my thoughts together. Who knows, maybe I'll end up jacked. That's a scary thought. When you don't love yourself it's hard to love other people or other things, and getting out of that vicious circle of depression is hard. You'll find that there's lots of elitist type people on here but you'd be surprised at how much compassion you find on a BlackHat business forum. Great community, rare too (lol).

    Also, you sound pretty young like me so I think it's almost natural still to be confused about our futures. We're at that stage where we're figuring things out, in a way. And falling out of the trap of wanting a normal life is daunting to say the least. I think everyone on this forum can agree that they'd rather give up more than half of the money in their bank accounts than go back to working a 9-5. Interesting fact too, our brains aren't really fully developed until we hit 25 or so. At 18 or 19 it's been studied that we don't have the know how to plan for the next month or even next week. We only think about what's gonna happen today.

    But all in all, just try doing different things. Even if it's something small, change up your daily plans. Force yourself to change. And pick yourself up and start something worth remembering. Time is something we don't get back. Look up "Closer to my Dreams" by Drake.

    Wanted to say this too, don't get too discouraged and down and remember to give yourself credit when it's due. You're here, and you seem motivated. Maybe you do your homework and read up, you take notes when you find something of value. You log in every day, and study. You made this big huge post venting your life frustrations. These are are not the symptoms of depression, so you know :).
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2015
  7. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    I will give you some real good advice. Get rid of your girlfriend.
     
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  8. Reaver

    Reaver Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    I'm with everyone else here who says to get rid of your gf. If she's that jealous that means she's insecure. Having a jealous partner is more stress than it's worth, and if you're trying to make it online you don't need added stress. I guarantee if you dump her you will instantly feel relieved.
     
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  9. lau281

    lau281 Registered Member

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    Haha damn, my friends have said that in the past also get rid of your gf , but i'm so attached to her or to the feeling of having someone that it's so hard to let go
    But i must say you guys are right.. I will have some deep thinking about this and try to give everything a place in my head what will be the best :)
     
  10. Asif WILSON Khan

    Asif WILSON Khan Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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    Don't get rid of your GF, tell her to get a Job then party with your mates.
     
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  11. AFrost

    AFrost Newbie

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    I think you could try getting a part-time job. The money probably won't be good, but it will get you out of the house a few days a week. You will be able to meet people your own age and meet new people (depending on the job), plus you will have a little extra income to help you while your build up your IM income.
     
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  12. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    If she is one of those crazy possessive types, she will find this post and we will never hear from you again.
     
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  13. Reviewergal

    Reviewergal Junior Member

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    I've been in your situation OP and I know it's rough. The best advice I can offer is to organize your schedule to include time each day or week to get out of the house and socialize. Keeping yourself cut off from friends and positive influences will affect you and your ability to succeed in your ventures. I create reasonable schedules for myself to meet daily goals and even on those 14 hour plus days of trying to get something major done I always take a moment to get some fresh air. Taking time to go out with your friends occasionally will keep you motivated and in the right frame of mind to meet and exceed your goals.

    As for your girlfriend you might consider having a frank discussion with her regarding her jealous and trust issues. Maybe is she understands her behavior is affecting your mental wellbeing she will try to let go of her personal baggage so it can stop affecting your relationship. If she isn't willing to at least try and establish some middle ground with you then you do need to consider your future with her. You should never be with a person who is not willing to at least try to work out a solution that gives both parties a shot at contentment.

    I admit that I am a bit of a homebody myself these days but I do enjoy going out with my friends twice a month or so. My husband is way more social than I am and he goes out with friends more often. Sometimes I go along other times I don't. If it's guys only or girls only we tell each other and if one of us doesn't like it we talk. You and your girlfriend should be able to have a reasonable discussion and if that isn't possible you have to ask yourself how of your happiness are you willing to sacrifice to make this one single person happy. Someone who truly loves you shouldn't want you to do that.
     
  14. myopic1

    myopic1 Regular Member

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    It's hard to get rid of someone who's a big part of your life when you're stuck in a rut, even though you know it's probably the right thing to do. Seems like the writing is on the wall though, get back in touch with your friends before it's too late.

    Personally I'd say this: You need a dream, a purpose that's not money. Money can be the way to that dream but it has to be something that will make you happy and give you purpose, that will get you out of bed in the morning, that will give you the resilience to fail, get up and try again (which you will need to - many times). Whether that's creating the freedom to travel, creating a 'real' business or building a company that's going to be bigger than you, not too sound too dramatic here but a lasting legacy.

    Your business model, if it can be called that, sounds too hands on. Shoot for residual passive income, that when you've built something it'll sit there earning money with little to no input. For me that's selling real tangible products through organic rankings, just FYI proper keyword research is incredibly powerful, there are so many industries out there that are laughably easy to rank for. That way you're not on the hamster wheel each day thinking about where your next paycheck is going to come from.

    But that's just me.
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2015
  15. The Scarlet Pimp

    The Scarlet Pimp Senior Member

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    yep... this is where i stopped reading...

    :D
     
  16. archon10

    archon10 BANNED BANNED

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    hahaha @ possessive girlfriend. Please tell me she has a job or this story will just be even funnier.
     
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  17. back2basics

    back2basics Power Member

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    All girls are jealous. How vocal they are about it varies, but there's jealousy, and there is controlling life sucking bitches, which do you have? If having a casual conversation with a female friend is enough to make her start accusing you of cheating or threatening to leave you, then it's time to kick her to the curb.
     
  18. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    No, I haven't experienced this as I don't get myself into silly situations. My cousin, on the other hand, is going through something similar to you, albeit much worse. His current h̶a̶r̶l̶o̶t̶, I mean girlfriend, has completely transformed his life. Ever since he started dating her last year, he's been kicked out of 4 houses, wrecked 5 cars, been fired from 4 jobs (he stole lottery tickets from one of them), and he currently has a warrant out for his arrest because he got caught stealing a CD from Wal-mart for his girlfriend and skipped out on his court dates to flee to California. There was even one time where he left on vacation for 2 weeks only to find out his girlfriend cheated on him with 4 different guys, 1 of which was his best friend and the other 3 were friends of his as well, yet he took her back. The girl doesn't even work either, and according to some the owners of the houses they stayed in, she just sleeps and complains all day. I can discuss this girl's problems all day and how she isolated my cousin from his family by turning him into an attack dog every time she thinks someone is poking fun at her, or how she doesn't allow him to talk to other girls even though she can talk to men and women, but I'm going to stop right here.

    Your girlfriend is clearly preventing you from living the life you want, so I suggest you get rid of her and find other women more like yourself, or better yet, keep her around and keep entertaining us here. :)
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2015
  19. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    The lady of the night don't care.
     
  20. netmoney1

    netmoney1 Executive VIP

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    You are still young. You can be saved...

    Remember:

    If it floats, flys or fucks...rent it.