Headline! Which is Better?

planck

Regular Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2015
Messages
258
Reaction score
58
Hi Guys,

Please help me choose a headline!

I am in the relationship niche. The product is targeted at women; hence, the gratuitous use of ‘pink’ in the headline.
It’s a “how to get a man to commit” product / “how to get a man to marry you”

Checkout the URL == > See Headlines
 
I'd go with pink. The 7 weeks should absolutely stay green, I think it's an amazing choice. The colors in between can be any shades of cold colors in my opinion. This color scheme draws nice attention to both the captivating 1st sentence and the security of the last one.

I also have a proposal for a slightly different headline, a mix of the best elements from these 2. I'd like to show it to you if you are interested.
 
IMO, neither one.

When it comes to headlines (and copy in general for that matter) clarity trumps originality/creativity/uniqueness/etc.

Don't try to be smart, be clear and simple.

Every word in a headline should be clearly defined and have no more than one clear meaning.

Things like "trigger the depth of his psyche", 'his very soul', 'wifely', 'wife-like' are meaningless and force the visitor to make his own meaning. Set them aside to be used by poetry writers and in song lyrics.

Point-first headlines that start with "get", "earn" "Relieve" "remove" or something of the sort (you get the idea) work best.

Get a marriage proposal from him in 7 weeks with this simple strategy developed by a marriage counselor.

I can pretty much guarantee that this headline will increase conversions by at least twice, compared to the two clever ones.
 
IMO, neither one.

When it comes to headlines (and copy in general for that matter) clarity trumps originality/creativity/uniqueness/etc.

Don't try to be smart, be clear and simple.

Every word in a headline should be clearly defined and have no more than one clear meaning.

Things like "trigger the depth of his psyche", 'his very soul', 'wifely', 'wife-like' are meaningless and force the visitor to make his own meaning. Set them aside to be used by poetry writers and in song lyrics.

Point-first headlines that start with "get", "earn" "Relieve" "remove" or something of the sort (you get the idea) work best.

Get a marriage proposal from him in 7 weeks with this simple strategy developed by a marriage counselor.

I can pretty much guarantee that this headline will increase conversions by at least twice, compared to the two clever ones.

What a great reply.
This is close to what I had in mind. Had the feeling visitors would get emotionally confused or even antagonized by the 2nd headline, and both were a bit like a rollercoaster. Very good point on clarity. I'd only like to add a bit of simple arousal into the headline somehow. We are dealing with emotionally invested women after all. What about a short and simple word about temptation/arousal mixed somewhere in there?
 
I'd go with pink. The 7 weeks should absolutely stay green, I think it's an amazing choice. The colors in between can be any shades of cold colors in my opinion. This color scheme draws nice attention to both the captivating 1st sentence and the security of the last one.

I also have a proposal for a slightly different headline, a mix of the best elements from these 2. I'd like to show it to you if you are interested.
Why don't you publish your proposal in your post?
What's up with the mystery?
 
Didn't want to offend you with unsolicited opinions, so I stuck with only commenting on the color palette.
The thread is specifically soliciting suggestions.
 
1) Would You Like To Learn This Strategy That Will Make Him Propose You In Just 7 Weeks

2) How To Make Him Propose You In Just 7 Weeks With This Simple But Powerful Strategy

3) Marriage Counselor Reveals Secret Strategy That Will Make Him Propose You Within Next 7 Weeks.

4) Discover This Secret Strategy That Will Make Him Propose You In Following 7 Weeks


Just came up with few in 2 minutes haha.

As member above said, you need to keep it simple (KISS - Keep It Stupid Simple) and be "straight-to-the-point"

I'd bet that #3 would work the best, but hey you never know if you don't test it.
 
1) Would You Like To Learn This Strategy That Will Make Him Propose You In Just 7 Weeks

2) How To Make Him Propose You In Just 7 Weeks With This Simple But Powerful Strategy

3) Marriage Counselor Reveals Secret Strategy That Will Make Him Propose You Within Next 7 Weeks.

4) Discover This Secret Strategy That Will Make Him Propose You In Following 7 Weeks


Just came up with few in 2 minutes haha.

As member above said, you need to keep it simple (KISS - Keep It Stupid Simple) and be "straight-to-the-point"

I'd bet that #3 would work the best, but hey you never know if you don't test it.
Thanks for the suggestions. The third suggestion is definitely commendable.
 
Back
Top