You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Child support is not "based on an arbitrary number made up by greedy lawyers who profit from the system" Lawyers did not make up the child support formula. LOL Nor do they get a cut of it. A divorce lawyer charges a fee to represent people in divorce cases. If the person can't afford an attorney, they can ask for a child support advocate provided by the court. They can also ask for a mediator provided by the court.
Since you know so much about how this all works, then I'm sure Your Wiseness knows what happens to the woman who is left to pick up the pieces. Let's take my case as a for instance. My ex husband made about 140,000 a year. I made about 30k a year from working at home, because we agreed that I would stay home and take care of the children. He wanted his wife home and I didn't have a problem with it. So. The prices of the homes we lived in reflected this income. Our cars reflected this income. The way our children dressed reflected this income. We did not live beyond our means and had no debt. So...Daddy leaves the nest. Child support was $375 a week which came out to $19,500 a year. I had a good lawyer. This is the child support formula that men claim is so much in favor of the woman. 140k went down to 19k, but the mortage, great neighborhood, music lessons, education, etc is not supposed to change for the sake of the children, according to the law. Who is supposed to pick up the difference in income?
Apparently, he was making more than 4xs what you made for 14 years straight? Doesn't sound like a bad deal to me.
You said you have an independent daughter out on her own. Sounds like she's supporting herself now. So there's only 1 son left with expensive car insurance, correct? Are you saying that $1,500 / month doesn't cover his $300 car insurance, food, clothes, and whatever else he needs?
For 14 years your husband was the breadwinner making $140k / year .... giving your children a good life.... while you stayed at home taking care of the children and working.
I'm really curious what YOU THINK he should be paying right now? What you would think is "fair" ? $2000 ? $3000 ? $4000 month ?
If he was making as much as you those 14 years you'd be getting like $200 month in child support right now... if anything at all.
Furthermore, if your son is old enough to drive he is OLD ENOUGH TO PAY HIS CAR INSURANCE. That was 1 very strict rule my mother had. My parents bought the car but if I stopped paying car insurance I was NOT DRIVING.
When I was 17 and got my first car. I went and applied to a car wash that paid $4/hour but with tips equated to roughly $28 /hour or $800 / month. I was going to college full time and working part time 4 days / week. 60% of college was paid in by grants and scholarships then 40% I had to take out loans for. I was able to pay car insurance but lived mostly broke for 4 years. Then mostly broke for another 4-5 years after graduating. And only gained financial footing in my life about 3-4 years ago.
Let's face it, it's hard enough for your average person to support themselves these days nevermind children. But for 14 years of your adult life you had the privilege of a man financially supporting you and your children. The privilege of not
really needing to worry about $$$ or being the bread winner. And yes I know you took care of the kids. You worked online. You're a great mother. Extremely smart. Worked your ass off I'm sure....
But the
fact remains that 63% of married women are being supported largely by their husbands and come divorce time >>>97% of those women are receiving alimony, NOT THE HUSBANDS. And what's getting worse, it's no longer just "alimony" in many states it's turning to "lifetime alimony". That is pure, unadulterated horseshit no matter what any women claim.
And I'll tell you what, if women really wanna complain about child support, lets flip alimony so it's 97% of WOMEN paying MEN then we can talk about child support.
Let's look at some REAL FIGURES.
In 2014 there was
$4 billion in unpaid child support. 83% of the time custody goes to the MOTHER. So thats
$3.3 billion that women didn't receive in child support.
BUT then there is alimony. In 2014 there was
$12.4 billion in alimony PAID to divorcees. Since 97% of those collecting are women that's
$12.0 billion PAID to women.
I'm not focusing solely on child support or alimony. I'm focusing on most the money that is exchanged after divorce. Most the money that is taken out of 1 persons bank and goes to another. And right now, women are >>
$8,700,000,000 AHEAD of men in the court system.
I know this figure doesn't apply to you directly, but it applies to ALL divorced women. Sure this system was "built by men". But it was built my men FOR WOMEN. In a way, men built the system as a financial incentive for women to MARRY MEN in the first place. So they can get those alimony checks for life. And regardless of what child support certain women aren't getting, women are the ones
GETTING THE MONEY. Men are the ones being raped in court. Don't get it twisted.
I have 4 married brothers. My 2 oldest brothers have kids. My oldest brother makes a little more than $400k / year and has 3 kids. His wife hasn't worked in at least 20 years. Even before the kids she wasn't working. Sits home all day "taking care of the kids" while the kids are AT SCHOOL FFS. Then the kids come home, she makes them some food and sends them off to karate/fencing/golf practice or whatever fancy shit my brother pays for. She goes back home and does whatever she wants. 80% of her days are spent doing basically nothing at all. And if they ever get divorced SHE is getting custody of the kids, SHE is getting alimony, SHE is getting child support, and SHE will live the rest of her life doing whatever the hell she wants while receiving fat checks every month.
Let's just put it this way. We might live in a patriarchal society, but to me that just means "save the women". It's usually wives and daughters who get spoiled, not husbands and sons. When a boat sinks, we save all the women and children. Let all the men die. Nobody GAF. Man gets divorced, give the kids to the wife. Give alimony to the wife. Give everything to the wife. Take his whole house and give it to the wife.
Look at crime tv. It's all about women. Nobody wants to watch a woman murdering her husband cause society is not designed to care about men. We are disposable. Send us all to war so we can die. Nobody cares. When you kill your husband just claim sexual abuse and you'll be out in 5 years. If you're a guy you're finished for life. We wanna see the poor, helpless, attractive slain woman on the news.... not some random ugly dude.
We may call this a "'patriarchal" system but in reality it's the exact opposite. Men's ego just need to believe we control the world when we really don't. It's women spinning their webs in the background entrapping men with their vaginas. Go back in history, so many wars have been started or stopped cause of women. There was 1 war where the queen told all women to stop having sex with their husbands till the war ended. Don't remember the name of the war but it took 2 weeks for that war to end. Women steer evolution, not men. Men don't care about expensive cars, big homes or money. We don't care about going to the gym, having a nice job, looking good, having rich friends, being dominant, etc. We do all of this shit cause it's what >>>WOMEN WANT. When a man wants a date, we gotta get rejected 30... if not 100 times to find someone. It's us dealing with the rejection. When a woman wants a date, all she's gotta do is blink twice and nod.
Let's just put it this way, the real commodity on planet Earth is the vagina. Not the penis.
Sure, there are many societies where women are oppressed but men oppress women out of fear of opening pandora's box aka "the true power of vagina". Right now in the US, we are witnessing this firsthand. Why are population rates exploding in all the countries where women are oppressed? While in the US, where men yell and smash their arms like apes but women are busy spinning webs in court.... our population is barely rising?
It's cause men NEED women but women only NEED access to mens money and sperm. Once women assert their true power across the world, you will arm yourselves and initiate a world wide sex ban at which point men will self destruct from sex deprivation and kill off the entire male race. There will be no men left except for Brad Pitt frozen in a freezer. Then women will rename Venus to Earth and Earth to Venus and instead of getting $9 billion / year by divorcing us you'll control all the money in the world which we all know has been the real plan since the beginning of time.
-BB
ps. One last remark about your sons car insurance. Unless you live in Detroit your sons car insurance should NOT be that high. I live in NJ which is rated the
#2 for highest car insurance in the US. And only reason I'm focused on this is you said you live within your means. But you also said your son can't afford his own car insurance and at that high a cost.... you're either getting seriously ripped off OR more simply you're living outside your means. I don't like telling people how they should raise kids but if that was my son I'd get him a shitty 98 honda civic, call around, negotiate, and you should be able to cut that cost in half. Thats absurdly high for someone who can't even afford their own car insurance.
