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Girlfriend Problems

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by lau281, Mar 26, 2016.

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  1. lau281

    lau281 Registered Member

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    Hello everyone so i just woke up and need help with my life.

    I've been together with my girlfriend for 3 years and we are constantly on and off but the last year has been sort of good (we fight less) but...
    I don't know what to do. I'm feeling kind of lost in all this , i got the feeling my girlfriend is leeching on me.

    I'm a 23 year old guy from Europe who got a under payed dayjob like 7.5 $ a hour (i design, do internet marketing, update the website, play FedEx for the company, need to tow around with heavy boxes all day also and so on) but that's life i guess? I dont want to complain cause im happy that i got a job but now comes to the flip side my girlfriend is kicked out of her parents house and is living with me now and i give her 100$ a week so she also can live from something and feels a bit "independent" which i support and is all good cause im kinda a softy sometimes when it comes to helping others..

    Dont get me wrong im a manly man but i've always been a loser for love. i had many girls in the past but when there are no strings attached i just go further easy but this girl caught my feelings and now we are 3 years later down a bumpy road but damn i love her so so much and i know she loves me cause of the conversations we had sometimes.

    Now let the madness begin where it's going wrong:
    1. I pay her 400$ a month to live
    2. I have a underpayed job so i cant save any money
    3. She doesnt want to have sex or likes to be intimate
    4. She is very bossy
    5. She is disrespectful to me at times
    6. We are in our 20's

    As you can see we are in our 20's and my testosterone level is like a bull in the summer and i do like everything for her and she get's really mad when i thouch her or say like we didnt have sex for a week now !
    All on top of that she like things her way so i get the feeling of being used by her.. But then comes my feelings and i know she is always been a b*tch but i don't know why but i cant get enough of it if somebody acts so bad to me? But at the same time i think like fck all this but i cant get my mind clear cause i really am in love.

    Then on top of this since Europe is really not the ideal area to live in now with increasing threats here i'm planning to leave to Australia for a year and work there and get away from this grey country.
    And if possible to stay there get a visum and so on..

    I got the basics of my life on the right rails and got good intentions (job , stay fit , working on IM , ..) but then there is the other 50% that's totally off track and i really need advice on this..
     
  2. SeoWrecker

    SeoWrecker Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    #7 she doesn't love you.
     
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  3. LJ Junior

    LJ Junior Power Member

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    Post this thread URL on your girl's FB wall. Problem Solved! :)
     
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  4. popcrdom29

    popcrdom29 Senior Member

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    OP I know it's tough but you gotta cut the strings. You should have a long talk with her and let her
    know how you feel. If she doesn't listen then tell her that things aren't working out and threaten to
    kick her out. She'll probably try to make you feel guilty and tell you how all of the problems are your
    fault. Tell her you're not happy anymore and you want more out of this relationship.

    If you have this talk with her then don't wuss out, be a man and carry through with your threats to
    move on.

    Again, I know this is tough. I've been there before too and putting your foot down is not easy.

    You seem like a descent hard working person so good luck and I hope things work out for the best.
     
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  5. DarkPixel

    DarkPixel Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    She is using you.
     
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  6. 93chandu

    93chandu Power Member

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    Ditch her dude!! She doesn't love you! You're just getting used by her!!
     
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  7. xRAYPEST

    xRAYPEST Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Quite clearly, she is using you. If she 'loved' you, she wouldnt have any problem with you TOUCHING her. She just wants a place to stay and money to burn.

    Goodluck with her!
     
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  8. BlackBDO

    BlackBDO Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Whoaaa... I stopped reading at "She doesn't want to have sex", that's a huge red flag.

    If near you would be a super hot chick you are attracted to, wouldn't you want to have sex with her? Of course you would, you are attracted to her. So, if she does not want to have sex, means she is not atractd to you. Can she love you still ? Yes...as a friend, but not as a sexual being with sexual needs.

    Last time my gf did not wanted to have sex for a week (she told me she was in a period when she realised she does not need sex to feel god with a man, and sh*t like this), I found out later that she was cheating me with her ex, and she even invited herself to her place (4h distance) just to have sex. And she told me she was going to her parents.

    Well, I am glad I discovered the truth and didn't lose anymore time with that chick...

    Anyway... see that "no more sex" as a red flag mate.
     
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  9. Abqerino

    Abqerino Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    You love her, she not love you,
     
  10. seogiantking

    seogiantking Power Member

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  11. Ste Fishkin

    Ste Fishkin BANNED BANNED

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    What's her number OP?
     
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  12. WebTG

    WebTG Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Tell her that you want to have SEX if she is agree fuck her. if not, leave her. Simple
     
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  13. Awavekid

    Awavekid BANNED BANNED

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    Wow, she sounds like a gold digger to me which basically stands for "a person who dates others purely to extract money from them, in particular a woman who strives to marry a wealthy man." In your situation, it seems as if she's using you entirely for your money and a place to stay if she is currently living with you. Maybe you guys need to sit down and have a serious talk about your future, relationship and everything else.

    If I was in the same situation, I'd probably pray and ask for guidance. If you're in love with her, make sure she knows. If she acts like she doesn't care then she obviously doesn't have the same feelings. Ask her if she does care, about you and about your relationship with her. Ask her if she loves you, if she says yes but things are still the same, ask her if she would want to go to counseling for your relationship. Also, know that you can't force someone to love you, love has to come natural. I hope the best for you two! Good luck.
     
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    Last edited: Mar 26, 2016
  14. HostStage

    HostStage Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    $400 a month to do what ?
    This part sounds broken to me. You can't afford to do that, so if you re on aa $7.50 per hour, you are in the $1k range a month.
    So you get to wake up every morning for $200 more than she gets ?
    If she wants her freedom and independancy she gotta struggle like anyone to get it.

    The Australia run away plan is your way out ;) Not by actually doing it but by engaging a conversation on why you want to do it, she will have to review her behavior with you.
    Not everything is granted and she got to figure that out.

    Happiness is key in life so do whatever you got to do to get it, don't let anybody drag you down.
     
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  15. PinguSpy

    PinguSpy Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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  16. Cherry

    Cherry Supreme Member

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    Some people are going to love you no matter what you do. And some people will never love you no matter what you do.
     
  17. Justkulboi

    Justkulboi Regular Member

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    You think she is leeching on you...you got it right bro.
     
  18. Ste Fishkin

    Ste Fishkin BANNED BANNED

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    18 replies in and no one has mentioned "be an alpha male" and only 1 PUA book has been recommended.

    This forum us getting better, give yourself a pat on the back guys.
     
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  19. umerjutt00

    umerjutt00 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Tell her to pack the stuff and get out of your apartment/house. From the looks of it, she is using you.
     
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  20. PinguSpy

    PinguSpy Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    OP need to be ALPHA MALE and dump the girl.

    The books is not PUA. It's about understanding relationship, from single > couple > marriage.

    PUA is just a pickup skill. And have no idea about.. for long term relationship.

    Those book teach about to become ALPHA MALE too.
     
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