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Funniest quote ever read.

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by glorypeak, Mar 1, 2012.

  1. glorypeak

    glorypeak Newbie

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    Here is mine..may i read yours?

    "Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling."

    "I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up I will just hit them all at once.":D
     
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  2. dkdanielkli

    dkdanielkli Regular Member

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    haaha the first one is pretty funny but also old 9:
     
  3. spirtx

    spirtx Junior Member

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    there is mine
    'When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.'
     
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  4. silentthunder

    silentthunder Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    "I went to a fight once and a hockey game broke out."

    "The only people that like change are babies with wet diapers."
    -Anthony Robbins
     
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    Last edited: Mar 1, 2012
  5. voljin

    voljin Junior Member

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    " We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up...
    ...
    ..
    After I finish laughing "
    :18:
     
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  6. Kaistar

    Kaistar Power Member

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    Computer games don't affect kids; I mean, if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
    Kristian Wilson, Nintendo Inc, 1989
     
  7. HoNeYBiRD

    HoNeYBiRD Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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  8. dotcomdesigns

    dotcomdesigns Power Member

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    "My next door neighbour has just had a pacemaker fitted - they have a few bugs to iron out, though. Every time he makes love to his wife, my garage door opens" - Bob Hope

    "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception - Groucho Marxs

    "I just met your sister and said she is the ugliest woman I have ever seen. Now having met you, I would like to retract that statement" - I think that was Mark Twain
     
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  9. Techxan

    Techxan Elite Member

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    "Oh my God, do you know what that means!!??!?? I still don't care.."

    And
    "Clean up after your self, your momma don't work here."
     
  10. dannym954

    dannym954 Regular Member

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    "Last time I had sex I lasted a measly 3 minutes... We did it doggy though so it counts as 21"
     
  11. dotcomdesigns

    dotcomdesigns Power Member

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    "It's funny how you meet your wife. I met mine in the tunnel of love. She was digging it"

    "I got home from work today and 6 guys were kicking the shit out of my wife. A neighbour said to me, aren't you going to help? I said no, 6 should be enough"

    "I said to the wife, I wish you wouldn't smoke in bed. She said, other women do. I said, not bloody bacon they don't"

    "We took the mother in law to see the Madam Tussauds waxworks in London. When we were queuing an attendent came up to me and said, when your inside keep her moving, we're doing a stock count today"

    All from the one and only Les Dawson
     
  12. WizGizmo

    WizGizmo Super Moderator Staff Member Premium Member

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    "Light travels faster than sound. That's why some
    people appear bright until you hear them speak." :18:
     
  13. Amsterdammer

    Amsterdammer Power Member

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    "Time flies like an arrow.
    Fruit flies like a banana."