catapult copy
Registered Member
- Sep 15, 2008
- 98
- 82
I'm sure you have got the message, change the background...or at least darken it and change the transperincy, take out some of the constrat too...
Bring Margins in 20px either side, font black, grey is to hard to read in some places.
Try pre head - headline that has a hook, Headline are only their to get attention. That one fails...not bad copy but needs some serious work. It is what we call a draft. Not enough bullet points....
And overall you need to add credibility, it is seriously lacking...to start with any one with a bit of intelligence will say, he made 9m but can get a decent salesletter done...it also screams of hype, you want solid substance, which means research for any copywriter...
And while you may think I'm being crtitical I write quite a bit of copy for clickbank products, ones that sell. I know what works and what doesn't...it reflects in the numbers... Good try but work on it...
PM me if you want it critqued - offering a free one this month.
Bring Margins in 20px either side, font black, grey is to hard to read in some places.
Try pre head - headline that has a hook, Headline are only their to get attention. That one fails...not bad copy but needs some serious work. It is what we call a draft. Not enough bullet points....
And overall you need to add credibility, it is seriously lacking...to start with any one with a bit of intelligence will say, he made 9m but can get a decent salesletter done...it also screams of hype, you want solid substance, which means research for any copywriter...
And while you may think I'm being crtitical I write quite a bit of copy for clickbank products, ones that sell. I know what works and what doesn't...it reflects in the numbers... Good try but work on it...
PM me if you want it critqued - offering a free one this month.