I AM curious about these grammatical errors. I'm usually an absurd stickler for grammatical precision.
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I'm a complete dick when it comes to reviewing copy but I hope you'll learn to appreciate it
Lets get started!
Your improper and completely ineffective use of the comma is astounding. Basically every paragraph contains that mistake.
Here are a few other mistakes as well as some delightful copy blunders that are sure to be a hit at your next local copywriters convention!
Over those seven years of my life, I've been educating myself on everything regarding using the Internet to earn a living, and staying away from all of the empty promises. The deceptions that almost every other "guru" will keep trying to get you to buy.
Tenses are wrong in this paragraph. You go from past to present in the same sentence.
It should be:
"Over those seven years of my life I educated myself on everything regarding...."
For awhile now, I've been observing the Web marketing industry as it unfolded.
Another tense problem: Present to past in the same sentence.
In fact, one of the only big players to ever throw me a bone gave me one important piece of advice: Almost all of the people getting these "work at home" offers never make more than a penny on the Internet, and what is sad is, most of them never will, either. They live modestly, and will continue to do so, while a fraction of a percentage bring in hundreds of thousands.
This is funny. Your big players advice to you is written in the exact same linguistic style as your sales copy; complete with improper use of commas! What a coincidence!
REMEMBER! You can sign up for my free weekday email, covering different ways to make thousands each week, all by utilizing one or more of the Internet's most effective sites.
Remember?? I'm pretty sure you have yet to mention anything about a free "weekday email"...and is that an email you receive every day of the week or is it a misspelling of the word "weekly"? Nope. Neither. Its shit copy!
Learn how I, and those like me, make over $1000 each day, spending less than four hours on the computer per day
You can shape this daydream from the comfort of your living room by working under two hours per day,
Is inconsistency suddenly in fashion? Is it a professional or believable business practice? I'm so out of the loop!
I always look back and think what my life would have been if I'd known about this even sooner:
Naturally, I know it's not possible for me to know what might have been. Maybe if I'd had these resources when I began down this road, I might have started making this money even sooner. Probably so, and now you have a shot to piggy-back off this Florida-bound retiree who is giving out the methods to how he did what he did to bring in his millions.
Geez, I sure am glad you told me about that logical deduction you made. The one about how it was not possible for you to know what might have been. Then, to follow it up with a completely irrelevant statement about you giving away your methods? ...priceless!
We come to a time in our lives where we have to believe that there is something we can do to help humanity. A point in which we realize that what we desire is to know our memory won't be lost.
Oh...you are doing this to help humanity? That's so selfless and cool!
Oh wait, your doing it to preserve your egotistical legacy? Never mind...
I had one last correction I wanted to include here but it's far too valuable. I know for a fact
it will be the difference between keeping your leads hot and ready to buy vs. immediately turning them off your product completely.
If you want to know what it is, PM me and we can talk.