Fear of getting married

USA282 said:
facepalm.jpg


Hey guys,

So I am getting married in 2 days and the only time I remember being so stressed was my result day in high school. Maybe this time it's even worse. It's not like i don't love this girl. We've been together for more than 5 years and everything has been great so far.
It's just that I don't feel prepared for such a big responsibility. As if marriage isn't my thing. I love my privacy, my decisions, my work, my time, myself etc. I discussed this with a friend who thought I am being too selfish. But I guess selfishness is something when you are demanding for love, care, help, support but aren't willing to offer the same. My life has always been perfect. My work has always been my real love. Never felt the need of a partner to fill in the emptiness because there is no emptiness. Well, I guess it's too late to realize this. :( I should have thought of this back in Oct 2016 or 5 years ago when we first started dating.
I don't really understand why am I sharing this here, actually its kind of releasing off some burden in my heart. Hope everything goes well.

Would love to hear your opinions, experiences and suggestions.
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I'm not married :) but I don't understand either why it's a big deal for u.

I can understand if you met her like 2 weeks ago. .. but geez u two have been 2gether for 5 years and probably living together. . .

not sure htat marriage is any different from how ur living now?

The only thing that's at risk now: Your BlackHat World Profits IF There's a Divorce
 
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Zwielicht said:
I like going to weddings for the food, especially when the newly weds spend $$$$ on good catering. One of the more memorable weddings I went to was one I was taking photos for a few years ago that had some AMAZING food. The wedding itself was bland and the location was terrible, but that food made up for it.

Unfortunately, many of the other people I know are cheap and just get married "under the table"; you don't know they're married until they tell you because they didn't bother having a celebration. I mean, it's their choice, but some days I wish I had more weddings I could attend.
Click to expand...

Get married then you dirty cheap buffet abuser.
 
Zwielicht said:
I like going to weddings for the food, especially when the newly weds spend $$$$ on good catering. One of the more memorable weddings I went to was one I was taking photos for a few years ago that had some AMAZING food. The wedding itself was bland and the location was terrible, but that food made up for it.

Unfortunately, many of the other people I know are cheap and just get married "under the table"; you don't know they're married until they tell you because they didn't bother having a celebration. I mean, it's their choice, but some days I wish I had more weddings I could attend.
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#offTopic
Your name looks good... reminds me of the elder scrolls skyrim... how is it pronounced xD
 
Getting married is like eating same dish every night, OP you better cancel it.
 
Unvirginator said:
#offTopic
Your name looks good... reminds me of the elder scrolls skyrim... how is it pronounced xD
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From my profile bio:
2e5864799cd48b041dee5b8358b7c3ff.png

I think it's pronounced "Z-wee-lih-ch-t"
Nut-Nights said:
Getting married is like eating same dish every night, OP you better cancel it.
Click to expand...
So you wouldn't marry any of the mods you stalk on a daily basis? ;)

Are you one of those "Wam, baam, thank you ma'am" guys?

Edit: Oh, there he goes, stalking mods again.
9e4490bd868e746dde280a649ad737fc.png
 
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USA282 said:
One thing I know for sure, I can't get any better wife than her. I mean, its this girl or none. Yes I do feel comfortable and just like I mentioned, everything has been great for the last 5 years, it's just me never being ready for a commitment. Any commitment that would result in bringing even the slightest change in my current life. But I really hope I get used to it somehow. the first few weeks or months would be the toughest for sure.
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You'll handle it!! After the weddin you'll see nothing that bad,, not alot changes,, you just become more closer!! And then after few months you can forget about (mhmm) xD joking,, you seems like a hreat guy,, man up ;) everyone goes through this ;)
 
I will talk about my story regarding marriage. My wife and I are completely different and at first it was tough to adjust. The first three months or so was rough as we had to get use to each other. We come from different cultures and background but we have the same love for each other. I think as someone stated before, if you can't live without her or see her with another man than you know she is the one. My wife completes me and OP your wife will complete you!
 
Zwielicht said:
From my profile bio:
2e5864799cd48b041dee5b8358b7c3ff.png

I think it's pronounced "Z-wee-lih-ch-t"

So you wouldn't marry any of the mods you stalk on a daily basis? ;)

Are you one of those "Wam, baam, thank you ma'am" guys?

Edit: Oh, there he goes, stalking mods again.
9e4490bd868e746dde280a649ad737fc.png
Click to expand...

I though it means some german hardcore fetish :)
hmmm, zwei - second, licht - light, secondlight ;)
e1cmf9R
 
USA282 said:
facepalm.jpg


Hey guys,

So I am getting married in 2 days and the only time I remember being so stressed was my result day in high school. Maybe this time it's even worse. It's not like i don't love this girl. We've been together for more than 5 years and everything has been great so far.
It's just that I don't feel prepared for such a big responsibility. As if marriage isn't my thing. I love my privacy, my decisions, my work, my time, myself etc. I discussed this with a friend who thought I am being too selfish. But I guess selfishness is something when you are demanding for love, care, help, support but aren't willing to offer the same. My life has always been perfect. My work has always been my real love. Never felt the need of a partner to fill in the emptiness because there is no emptiness. Well, I guess it's too late to realize this. :( I should have thought of this back in Oct 2016 or 5 years ago when we first started dating.
I don't really understand why am I sharing this here, actually its kind of releasing off some burden in my heart. Hope everything goes well.

Would love to hear your opinions, experiences and suggestions.
Click to expand...

If you can't get more time, perhaps find a way to get things more comfortable? If you like alone time to work, then ask her to go out with her friends or with her family every few days so you can have like two or three days to yourself? Another option is having a baby if you like kids, that would be a good way to work while she deals with the kids and hopefully doesn't bother you too much, but the wife nagging will usually because an issue when little demons get involved.

It's tough to say. If I was in your shoes, delaying the wedding or spending a few days in total isolation might be what I'd do. Either you end up ready to marry or hate it more and delay the wedding. I'm so sorry your in this situation, it blows.
 
Well, if you two are making the Cx then you might as well be married already. In ancient cultures the marriage part happened in the bedroom, while a wedding feast was more of a traditional thing. It wasn't until the Church rose up and made it an ethical part of civilization that the wedding day became synonymous with marriage. It's also part of control, so that some "leader" guy can tell you whether you are lawfully married or not.

How very cliche...

710.jpg

P.S I don't care if you agree with this or not.
 
You should figure a way that let her "accidentally" read this thread. She will do the breakup I'm sure.
 
As long as your fiancee respects the things you hold dear, (work, space privacy etc) and you understand and respect what she values, you'll be just fine. However, some decisions will now be joint. (I bought a sportsbike once, without consulting and she demanded I get a life insurance policy, fair enough right?)

Its natural to be nervous in the prior few days, bit like skydiving for the first time, everyone shits themselves on the first jump!

Take it from me (been married 17 years), a happy wife is a better life. So find out what makes her happy and never sleep on an argument. You WILL argue!

A good friend told me once: It's you and your wife vs the world, not you vs your wife.

Commit to the jump and you'll be fine.
 
My experience - even though I am not married but my girlfriend taught me about love, responsibilities and I learning now even though initially I found the change I am passing through is not I am meant for but after two years being together I learnt the best thing

- Bill Gates, and Mark Zuckerberg is also married and they are billionaire. Marriage is not bad, don't worry about changes if it's for good.
 
Honestly man my brother got married a couple months ago and I can tell you he was just as if not more nervous and anxious as you. It is a big deal and that why you are freaking out. In the end it worked out and he says it was the best decision of his life. You'll be fine.
 
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