I have a very simple item on my bucket list that I want to cross off before I die (and hopefully while I'm still young). That item is "HAVE AMAZING SEX", in all capital letters. It has yet to be crossed off. Anyone know how I might be able to find a $3,000 lay for one hour? I'm looking for someone like Chelsea in the movie "The Girlfriend Experience" (Chelsea costs $2,000/hr), or that overdosing hooker Victor Ziegler has sex with in the movie "Eyes Wide Shut". The problem is, I don't know how/where to find girls like these. I tried The Erotic Review for a year and while the GFEs I've had were generally around the $300/hr range I have never been satisfied. It's always either because their photos look better than them in person, and/or they're really lackluster and mechanical at sex. Very different from the vibe I get from quality porn. The most I've ever paid was $800 for a GFE, she had a perfect 10 body and great implanted tits and all but her face was like a 5. She blew me for 30 minutes but I couldn't even get it up for 3 seconds. She didn't even know how hard to apply suction, how to pace it with a slow and sensual rhythm, how to undulate her tongue, all that good stuff. She just bobbed her head up and down really fast and slobbered all over my shaft like some sort of mechanical pre-programmed plunger robot. I never got it up, I never penetrated her, I never came. And I tried Eros NY for a $1,000 girl when I had a raging hard-on once, only to discover the $1,000 girl I booked had an entirely different face from the girl in the photo. The girl in the photo had a perfect 10 face, the girl I met at the door was a 2 and a lot older. I gave her $60 for the trouble and left. I assume the majority of girls on Eros NY uses fake photos. I've set the advanced search filters to show only girls that charge over $3000 in The Erotic Review, but the results come up as $3000 for overnight, not $3000 per hour. TER doesn't have an option to search by price per hour. I tried a "Korean massage parlor" once, ugghhh gross. Not the class and caliber I'm looking for. Like fucking a zombie. Couldn't even make my weiner move. I put my clothes on and left the parlor. And don't even bring up the subject of street hookers and cheap Craigslist lays. I'm not touching that stuff. Never have and never will. All I need to do to cross this bucket list item off is book a girl with an elite escort agency. But the only elite escort agencies I know of are Emperor Club VIP (from Elliot Spitzer's sex scandal with Ashley Dupre) which no longer exists, and Wicked Models (from the movie "Inside Job") which also no longer exists. The best sexual encounter I cherish with all my heart and the only memorable experience that still gets me hard just thinking about it to this day, was when this extremely hot stripper (face 10, body 9, about 25-28 years old) agreed to blow me in the VIP room of a strip club for $500. It was kinda risky, but she told me the room had no cameras. Nevertheless, she was one of the most beautiful and classy sirens I've ever met, sporting a once-in-a-lifetime face and body, and she could suck you like you could not believe. That thing I said about "how hard to apply suction, how to pace it with a slow and sensual rhythm, how to undulate her tongue, how to maintain eye contact, all that good stuff"? She could do all that and more... Except sex. I wanted sex. I wanted to fuck her brains out right then and there and lick her all over... and then lick her all over some more. Alas, we were in a strip club. We would get caught if we had sex. She would think I was a cop if I were to ask her to get a hotel room with me (tried this with other strippers before). So there was no amazing sex to be had. She only gave me a blowjob, and I came so hard it sent toe-curling shivers through my spine and all through my entire body. But I left that strip club that night with this SIMPLE little bucket list item uncrossed and incomplete, right frickin' there on my iPhone Notes app, taunting me in face, eternally postponing satisfaction. But I will not give up. I will have amazing sex before I die, it will be with a perfect face 10 body 10, I will blow a gigantic sticky load all over said face, and I will cross this item off my bucket list with a beaming smile of awe, victory, and fulfillment.