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Evaluate the work of my Writer !

Discussion in 'Copywriting & Sales Persuasion' started by anil2006, May 24, 2013.

  1. anil2006

    anil2006 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Recently i hired one writer who writes poems . I am thinking to make collection of her poems an sell on amazon as kindle ebook to USA audience . Please evaluate her skills as per USA market . Here is one of her poem :

    HELPLESS HEART

    My heart resides in an endless pain,

    Therefore stirring anxiety into the rain;
    Showering from the clouds far above,
    Making many realize the power of love;
    Although its over and ended forever,
    Poor heart makes useless endeavor;
    To be loved once again as before,
    And never get shattered anymore;
    Someone should make it realize,
    How much it hurts to memorize;
    The moments that have been spent,
    With somebody's heart that was on rent;
    But now has been occupied by its owner,
    Leaving mine hopeless in a deserted corner.


    Feedback of your all guys welcome . Thanks in advance

     
  2. anil2006

    anil2006 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Anyone guys ?
     
  3. small buddy

    small buddy Regular Member

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    It is better ,, can surely carry on,,
     
  4. Author19

    Author19 Newbie

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    Sorry, absolutely dreadful. (At least this piece) Not a bad idea for Kindle book tho...
     
  5. Sgt Kraut

    Sgt Kraut Regular Member

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    Honest answer: The first 4 lines are okay. Then she is not able to maintain the picture in the mind of the reader, which is a necessary skill for writing poems. I think another problem is that the chosen words are not the best, as it could be more fluent. Some rimes may are a bit too easy, like "spent/rent".
     
  6. rotwic

    rotwic Registered Member

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    No. Sorry, a poem is supposed to grab the reader and throw them into an imaginary world created by the poet. This doesn't do that. I mean, if you're planning to make it an e-book, then definitely no. She might have other good ones though. Check them out before making the decision.
     
  7. Ghostwriter

    Ghostwriter Newbie

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    I don't know about the quality of the poem, but I do know that poetry sells very badly in the US.
     
  8. Beven

    Beven Elite Member

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    Kind of a hard question since it's practically impossible to put value on a poem/piece of art. The written quality of a article designed to be informative would be much easier to value.
     
  9. SEO_Alchemy

    SEO_Alchemy Senior Member

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    I have to disagree.... not that this is good poetry by any means, but for the U.S. self-help/motivational market, this is exactly the kind of shit people want and love. Think tacky corporate posters or inspirational messages.... that should be your target market with this stuff. Plus the market is much much bigger than for "real poetry".

    "Motivational Verses to get you Through the Day with a Smile"

    Shit like that.... you might be on to something there.

    Just don't try to pass her off as the next Robert Frost :)
     
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  10. loclhero

    loclhero Supreme Member

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    I was looking for ways to be kind but then realized this is someone you hired and is (hopefully) not a friend or family member.
    So let me just say that this is the absolute worst "poetry" I've seen in some time.
    Mid 1970's high school teenage angst is all I can get out of this and I can only assume the poet is a very young girl who probably spends her spare time doing poetry and "visual art".

    [​IMG]
     
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    Last edited: May 28, 2013
  11. ThreadKiller

    ThreadKiller Power Member

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    Poetry... gee, that's a future business for sure </irony>
     
  12. verial

    verial Junior Member

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    Poems are subjective for the most part. You can sell anything subjective with the right marketing.

    Source: I've sold $1 Chinese scrolls for up to $50 on ebay.

    Takeaway: Art is objective and can always be sold.
     
  13. jonthewiz

    jonthewiz Registered Member

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    Agreed, I don't see what people are so fussed about.. It's all in the eye of the beholder. IMO it could sell!
     
  14. thewanderingpen

    thewanderingpen Junior Member

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    I think it's the culture of the people here at BHW. People here want to make money, and with that said, the BHW community is more about 'the concrete' - they are looking for something informative, something that's quantifiable, what that brings results, clear steps, etc.

    Judging how good a poem is? That's more of subjective...it's more on the abstract side of things. I'm not saying folks here can't differentiate a good poem from a bad one. But maybe the OP may have better luck asking people who are in the same frequency so to speak.
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2013
  15. l7ucid

    l7ucid Junior Member

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    personally, I don't like it. But there's always a market, there's a market for anything really - the problem is just getting it to the right consumer. IMO it's not that great though, and I do like poems. It just rhymes.. that's it
     
  16. lmxftw

    lmxftw BANNED BANNED

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    how much money do i have to deposit to your paypal for you to never post anything like this again ?
     
  17. Wavves

    Wavves Newbie

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    I laughed quite hard. :D

    Sad bat true, OP: quiality of this poem is pretty low. So If I were you wouldn't invest money in ebook.
     
  18. mosschief

    mosschief Newbie

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    Agreed, not a great way to make money.
     
  19. KarenS

    KarenS Newbie

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    Oh dear, to me it's terrible. At least there are no spelling mistakes. But marketed to teenage girls maybe it could work! It depends how much you are paying for her work.
     
  20. clpik

    clpik Regular Member Premium Member

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    It has a nice flow, but it's not exactly a quality writing. Might sell, though. If people read Stephanie Meyer, they'll read anything, as long as it's dark and broody.

    Could you post some more of this?