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etiquette

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by theseodude, Dec 15, 2012.

  1. theseodude

    theseodude Regular Member

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    Hi guys
    I have a virtual office and sometimes i go in to pick up my mail. There are 2 girls that work there, one of them is the receptionist at the front, and the other one is the manager who sits in the back and is not visible to the public.

    me and the manager are kind of friendly with each other. we dont act in a professional manner, like she uses the F word when she talks to me.

    when I go in to pick up my mail, I tell the receptionist "I am here for my mail" and she goes to the back and gets my mail. Would it be rude for me to get my mail and leave? I always feel bad and go to the back and say hi to the manager, but she always seems busy and kind of tells me to fuck off (not literally, but I can tell she is distracted with other things and doesnt want to talk). Is it OK for me to just get my shit and leave without acknowledging the manager? I just dont want to appear rude.
    the manager is close enough to hear my voice, so she would know i was there.
    and this is in America, so American culture applies.
     
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  2. ShadeDream

    ShadeDream Elite Member

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    He who laughs last, laughs longest.
    By looking at your reputation I can understand why the manager tells you to "fuck off". I don't think it's a joke.

    lol
     
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  3. Berkeli

    Berkeli Regular Member

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    lol ^
    I personally wouldn't bother, if our eyes don't meet I wouldn't go and say hi, unless I want to ask something.
     
  4. theseodude

    theseodude Regular Member

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    hi guys
    so does the lack of too many responses mean everybody agrees that i should just get my mail and leave without saying hi? It's not rude?
     
  5. BHopkins

    BHopkins Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    The lack of responses probably means people don't care about this post.

    For me, I wouldn't feel obligated to say something unless you want to. If she's too busy for you, you're probably annoying her by saying, "Hi" every time you go in.
     
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  6. JIMBOFISHER

    JIMBOFISHER Newbie

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    Ha, I think that if you're the boss you should be able to leave w/out talking to her
     
  7. forlearnx

    forlearnx Regular Member

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    Your line really CRACK me up!

     
  8. forlearnx

    forlearnx Regular Member

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    OP: You're thinking too deep. They really don't care what you think. I think they're just thinking about going home.
     
  9. bertbaby

    bertbaby Elite Member

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    Another two minutes of my life I'll never get back!
     
  10. Duffers5000

    Duffers5000 Elite Member

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    No shit ! I only kept reading because I thought it was going to end in a threesome.
     
  11. CEPI

    CEPI Power Member

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    If you can't manage life decisions of how to pick up some effing mail, you're screwed, bro.
     
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  12. J1218

    J1218 Power Member

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  13. GreenHustler

    GreenHustler Junior Member

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    A quick friendly hello (meaning under 5 seconds) is probably enough to politely acknowledge her without being a distraction.
     
  14. B. Friendly

    B. Friendly BANNED BANNED

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    Good question. Some of the people in this thread are douchebags. Before I get to my real point, people should read BigBuddy's take on Rep+. He says not to worry about it. That (more or less) if you maintain a positive attitude and help people around the forum, the Rep+ will take care of itself. At one point, he was negative too. Maybe some of you should go talk smack to him now.

    I believe in redemption. A true douchebag will be one until the day he dies, but someone smart enough to see his own mistakes has unlimited potential. So, OP, don't let the opinions of the douchebag gallery prevent you from achieving your success. Note how squarely they have positioned themselves to block their own.

    One example of this is how they've missed the point you were seeking in this thread, and I'm about to hand it to you. I win. You win. They are still the same douchebags, and shall remain so.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence

    OP there is no "rule" as far as etiquette goes, not for the simple matter of trying to decide whether to engage in friendly banter while performing a necessary and routine task, nor for the infinite other variations of this social dilemma The risk is twofold; you risk alienating them by failing to acknowledge them and make friendly chit-chat, and you risk annoying them by bothering them while they are busy doing their work.

    The fact that you wonder this is what's important. The douchebags do not. They haven't any "EQ", nor the IQ to recognize why it's important.

    It's important to consider the emotional state of the people you interact with. It's important to evaluate the potential emotional impact interacting with them may have. It's important to PAY ATTENTION to the feelings of others. Feelings, by their nature and definition are completely subjective; there are no "rules" per se. Each person has their own unique emotional situation and it is important to pay attention to each person and adapt how you deal with them based on that.

    Sometimes it is best to simply walk in without saying a word, get your mail, and leave quietly. And sometimes, what that woman desperately needs is for someone to walk up to her and say "Hey, you dumb bitch, how the hell are you?". Note how having a really bad EQ could make the second situation catastrophic. However, some people, in the right situation, might appreciate the risk-taking as a statement of your trust in them, that they won't react badly and throw out out of the office. Each person, each situation is different. Each one involves a certain amount of risk. Some (but not all) offer potential reward. Sometimes being willing to take an inter-personal risk is the only way to make yourself stand-out and appear special and noteworthy.

    I took a Leadership Development class that mentioned EQ. They said that when evaluating factors that determine success in life, EQ was more important than any other. You don't have to be the smartest, the best looking or even the hardest working. People want to follow a Leader that understands how they feel.

    I'm not sure how much of that I really believe. It's one of those things that creates it's own reality. Feels "New Age-y" to me, like worshiping crystals and wearing hemp clothing isn't too far behind. What I'm most certain of is that it's a really good idea to consider potential options for how you relate with others.
     
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2012