Black as the night sky!

I hope that heading got you to click. I have a question for you all. Let's say someone wants to start selling p1Lz that give you an 3r3ction. What would be the best method to boost them up in the serps without getting them penalized?? I'm quite new to black hat, but now a complete idiot, so throw it at me.

keyword research / audience
website creation - easy to use, nice design, logo, fast
on site seo - alt tags, heading tags, .htaccess, robots.txt, seo plugins, cache plugins
content - on specific niche, keyword density, headings, images, linking to other relevant content, no spelling, useful
social media - google, twitter, facebook
backlinks - guest posts, forum links, wiki links, edu links, high pr links, anchor tags + diversity
money - right setup for ads

and way, way more