Best Christmas Joke

What did Santa say when he walked into the brothel?
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( Come on, what would Santa say ? )
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Ho, Ho, Ho
 
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What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? - Claustrophobic.
 
[SIZE=+1]The Best Christmas joke is I am black in america..... and i live next to the KKK
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3 more vote for my joke on the 1st page, i want to win :D
 
For sure this dad knows about blackhatworld :P

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, ?I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.?


'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.




?We can't stand the sight of each other any longer? the father says. ?We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.?


Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. ?Like hell they're getting divorced!? she shouts, ?I'll take care of this!?


She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father ?You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?? and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Sorted! They're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way.
'
 
What is the cause of recent cow mutilations? Santa knows there won't be enough milk this Christmas!

How does Santa stay obese? He blackmails the pillsbury dough boy.

What is Santa's equivalent of fail? Ho Ho Ho!

Who is Santa inspired by? Fat Albert!

Why might Santa not come this Christmas? Him and Don Imus are being sued.

Somehow, Santa got sucked into an inter dimensional portal. God sighed and came to his rescue. God gave Santa five seconds to say where he wanted to go, so he could be teleported. Santa said "Holiday Ho Ho Ho" and before he finished his fat ass burst into flames. He was trying to say Holiday Hotel, that's where his three hoes told him to meet up. God closed the inter dimensional portal and Christmas was ruined. Merry Christmas. God didn't have time to waste. :S

:p
 
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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][SIZE=+1] [/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][SIZE=+1]It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner

"What are you charged with?"

"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.

"That's no offence", said the judge.

" It is if you do it before the shop opened", countered the prisoner.[/SIZE]
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a little boy was sitting on santas lap.

Santa said You can have anything you would like little boy.

The little boy said really anything i want?!

I want a Rocket to go to space!

Santa tapped him on the nose as he told him IM-ALL-OUT-OF-ROCKETS

the boy grunted and thought again

okay what about a puppy? said the boy

then santa looked over to the mom which was shaking her head NO

and santa said all-puppys-already-taken as he tapped him four times while saying

then the little boy shouted

WELL HOW ABOUT SOME PUSSY AND DONT TELL ME YOU DONT HAVE ANY BECAUSE I CAN SMELL IT ON YOUR FINGERS!

:p
 
10 Things that Sound Dirty at Christmas, But Aren't

Did you get any under the tree?
I think your balls are hanging too low.
Check out Rudolph's Honker!
Santa's sack is really bulging.
Lift up the skirt so I can get a clean breath.
Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?
I love licking the end till it's really sharp and pointy.
From here you can't tell if they're artificial or real.
Can I interest you in some dark meat?
To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall
 
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