manimanitas
BANNED
- Feb 3, 2023
- 58
- 15
Hi bhw community,
I need to write this down and feel like im being heard by people that can understand me, its not easy to keep consistency for almost 8 years being 22 yold learning daily new stuff IT/OnlineMarketing related by your own hoping to apply it in your methodology, that its almost every year changing cause youre growing your personality as you grow.
Right now i feel confidence enough that im persuing solid projects that i wont break up, been on them for some years now and im starting to see the benefits and opportunities, most of the opportunities i turned them down cause i dont believe in myself enough, thats why i always opted to hustle online, not only cause it was more comfortable to do, but because i dont need to act like i trully believe the persona i have build online to backup my experience, cause if you dont show security in your work people wont believe it even if your more than capable of doing it.
I woke up today, checked stats, not growth, not a potential one that i can see right now, deff a grow if i look my stats two months ago. I feel secure and confident, i do my tasks and then i move to the other social, check stats, shitty stats like yesterday, a really bad week, one of the worst in the last two months, no reaffirmation, i dont have enough energy to keep doing my tasks on other socials, then i roll one play some informative videos, cause if im not hustling at least i can listen and get more useful knowledge to hustle more efficently.
But then i roll another one, and then another one, and here im, posting this cause i dont really feel like doing more, i did a couple tasks a minute ago and i feel like im not doing more till night gets closer, always when night gets closer i get ansious and i start doing the stuff i didnt do or more stuff i will have to do, anxiety helps to be more productive, but, its all of this going to be worthy? do i have to keep rushing this capitalist dream of achieving certain status to be more happy even tho i know thats not happiness, thats just living comfortably in this system, the system i grew up on. can i just shift my mind into understanding and realising happiness and live life like a fuckking hippy?
I need to write this down and feel like im being heard by people that can understand me, its not easy to keep consistency for almost 8 years being 22 yold learning daily new stuff IT/OnlineMarketing related by your own hoping to apply it in your methodology, that its almost every year changing cause youre growing your personality as you grow.
Right now i feel confidence enough that im persuing solid projects that i wont break up, been on them for some years now and im starting to see the benefits and opportunities, most of the opportunities i turned them down cause i dont believe in myself enough, thats why i always opted to hustle online, not only cause it was more comfortable to do, but because i dont need to act like i trully believe the persona i have build online to backup my experience, cause if you dont show security in your work people wont believe it even if your more than capable of doing it.
I woke up today, checked stats, not growth, not a potential one that i can see right now, deff a grow if i look my stats two months ago. I feel secure and confident, i do my tasks and then i move to the other social, check stats, shitty stats like yesterday, a really bad week, one of the worst in the last two months, no reaffirmation, i dont have enough energy to keep doing my tasks on other socials, then i roll one play some informative videos, cause if im not hustling at least i can listen and get more useful knowledge to hustle more efficently.
But then i roll another one, and then another one, and here im, posting this cause i dont really feel like doing more, i did a couple tasks a minute ago and i feel like im not doing more till night gets closer, always when night gets closer i get ansious and i start doing the stuff i didnt do or more stuff i will have to do, anxiety helps to be more productive, but, its all of this going to be worthy? do i have to keep rushing this capitalist dream of achieving certain status to be more happy even tho i know thats not happiness, thats just living comfortably in this system, the system i grew up on. can i just shift my mind into understanding and realising happiness and live life like a fuckking hippy?
