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Attention Whore [offline extremes] 2

Discussion in 'Offline Marketing' started by imperial109, Aug 21, 2011.

  1. imperial109

    imperial109 Regular Member

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    I've made one of these before and it was good for brainstorming and shits n gigs.
    1. Host a wet T-Shirt contest and offer some sort of prize. Send everyone else to a CPA.
    2. Go to your local mart and put stickers of your URL on all of the products.
    3. Become a pickup artist and make any chick you talk to go through a content blocker.
    4. Hire a bank robber and make him wear a T-Shirt with your security logo on it.
    5. Get your flying license and write your URL in the sky.
    6. Go to your local library/internet cafe and arrange the keys on the keyboard to spell your URL.
    7. Go to karaoke night and sing something that advertises singing lessons.
    8. Go to South America and find a talented impoverished young man and put him on the corner to do his thing with your URL displayed.
    9. Advertise your CPA at your wedding.
    10. Start a riot/protest promoting your site.
    11. Get a jackhammer and engrave your URL in the sidewalk.
    12. Get arrested for something ridiculous in your are and wear your URL.
    13. Go through drive thrus and put your sticker on the voice box.
    14. Hack the voice box and when someone tries to order send them to your offer.
    15. Get a job at a fast food place and put your URL in every meal.
    16. Buy a realistic manikin and hold it hostage on top of a building and demand that people go to your website.
    17. Break into someone's house and leave your security offer.
    18. Make a new breed of an animal and name it your URL.
    19. Fill in as an extra in a movie and get your URL in the shot.
    20. Empty out all of the cereal boxes at the local mart and put your offer inside the box.
    21. Replace the prize in the box w/ your CPA offer.
    22. Slap your sticker on the ass of every hot chick you see.
    23. Go up to people and threaten them if they don't go to your URL. Tell them you know where they live.
    24. Get a hot air balloon and hover over a major intersection.
    25. Put magnets on the front side of your car with the attractive side outwards then bump people at the intersection so your insurance offer will stick to their back bumper.
    26. Go to your pastry shop and write your URL in the cakes on display.
    27. Offer free beer at a public event and give your offer instead.
    28. Become a stripper and tattoo your URL on your body.
    29. 28 but put censored bars (a square box) around your goods w/ your URL.
    30. Slip your URL in the front cover of every book in your public library.
    31. Go to the pet store and train a parrot to repeat your URL.
    32. Go to a rest area on the highway and put your URL in the stalls.
    33. Become a tattoo artist and put your URL on everyone.
    34. Make legit tattoos but put your URL right under it.
    35. Work your way into the VMAs and streak while it's live.
    36. Get a branding iron with your URL and mark everything that moves. Promote scar healing get or something.
    37. Get a lot of people to write in your URL on voting day in your town.
    38. Go to the zoo and brand or shave your URL into a monkey.
    39. Release a lot of balloons into the atmosphere with your URL attached to each of them.
    40. Attach a lot of balloons to a giant sign w/ your URL into the atmoshpere.
    41. Hire someone to go on a long car chase w/ your URL on top of the car.
    42. Hand out envelopes in front of a supermarket that say don't open until Christmas.
    43. Poop your URL on a busy sidewalk.
    44. Go peacocking everywhere you go with your URL around your neck.
    45. Put arrows on the ground in a busy place leading to your flyer.
    46. [M] Put on a cup, go to a busy and manly place and wear a sign around your neck telling people to kick you in the nuts. Put your laptop beside you and make them fill out your free offer first.
    47. [F] Like 46 but offer sex. Make them fill out an offer that requires an email and you'll get back at them tonight.
    48. Camp out in a busy intersection and write your URL on the tent that you'll be sleeping in.
    49. Pick up ice skating and etch your URL in the rink.
    50. ...
    51. Profit

    ADD TO THE LIST.

    Disclaimer: These are meant mostly as brainstorming ideas. I don't intentionally condone anything illegal, but disregard ethics.
     
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  2. larrydetuvi

    larrydetuvi Regular Member

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    o.o wtf
     
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  3. Monrox

    Monrox Power Member

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    You should link to your previous thread as well. Best was the
    - throw a fake baby out of a window with your url attached to it
     
  4. wizkidding

    wizkidding Newbie

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    awesome
     
  5. imperial109

    imperial109 Regular Member

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  6. imperial109

    imperial109 Regular Member

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    Hahaha

    Here are some things that I've come up with just by looking back at this:
    1. Go to a public even and hand out candy w/ the URL attached.
    2. If you don't want to/can't waste money, go through a garbage can and find wrappers and put a rock in it and attach your URL.
    3. Melt a snickers bar on the sidewalk
    4. Epoxy a jewelry box to the ground and inside of it have the URL instead of a ring. Better yet to a light post right beside the ped xing button.
    5. Go to a public restroom, take out all of the paper and write your URL on the roll.
    6. 5 but stamp the URL on every sheet of paper.

    6 things off the top of my head, even if only 1 of those things is something that you could get away with. Hell, if we come up with 1000 things, and only no. 73 is worth doing, then that's an accomplishment.

    Take no. 1 from this reply.

    Go to WalMart and pick up some snickers:
    Code:
    hxxp://www.walmart.com/search/search-ng.do?search_query=snickers&ic=48_0&Find=Find&search_constraint=0
    Let's go with the 40oz one.
    If we look here:
    Code:
    hxxp://www.peertrainer.com/DFcaloriecounterB.aspx?id=5624&v=1
    
    We see that one bar is 15g.

    uhhh math...
    So if there's 28.34g/oz, we have 28.34*40 ~ 1133.6g/bag.
    / by 15g/bar and we have 75 bars/bag.

    At a tax rate of 7% in my area the $8.98 bag is ~$9.61 therefore ~$0.13/bar.



    Now the URL. I'm sure you have a sharpie around and you can get 60yd masking tape for a few dimes at Home Depot.
    Code:
    hxxp://www.homedepot.com/h_d1/N-5yc1v/R-100209295/h_d2/ProductDisplay?langId=-1&storeId=10051&catalogId=10053
    So that's about $0.85/roll. You'll have 4cm to write on so it will fit on the bar. At 60yd you have 5460cm, divide that by 4 and you have enough for 1365 bars. Uhhhh...so that's less than 1 cent per bar?

    Now sell an eBook on how to make chocolate bars for $17.95 and hand out the candy to chunky->overweight women age 20-60.


    ...um...why am I doing this...
    I'm in college and drunk at my computer on a saturday night...*sigh*

    ...outsource to some high school kids(so it's less likely they'll eat it), expand to other public events. 1 sale will be a 186% ROI.

    Disclaimer: The math may be a little faulty. Prices were rounded up, lengths and weights rounded down so we don't end up having to pay more than we have money for. If we calculate that our supplies cost $x.xx and we get to the front and it's actually $x.xx+$0.xx and we don't have enough money then we don't have a means of promotion.
     
  7. JShearer91

    JShearer91 Junior Member

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    If Chuck Norris had a gun to my head and demanded no "LOL"ing while reading this thread, I wouldnt be typing this now.

    Good Ideas, Brb gotta sidewalk to shit on.
     
  8. IGKing

    IGKing Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Chuck Norris doesn't need guns.

    1.) Place your URL on wrappers at fast-food restaurants.
     
  9. NotTheDude

    NotTheDude Regular Member

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    Occupation:
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    This is amusing but really should be in the lounge, not in this section.
     
  10. AQGrimm

    AQGrimm Junior Member

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    Awesome man!
    Had a great laugh!