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Anybody Here ,Lost A Parent?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by rhino2020, Mar 4, 2012.

  1. rhino2020

    rhino2020 Junior Member

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    My dad was in a car accident on Feb 9th. He passed away March 1st. He was a great Father and my best friend, we talked everyday. He was 46. way too young. I just wanted to ask has anyone else lost a parent and how did you cope?
     
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  2. thedon23

    thedon23 Elite Member

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    Damn man..I'm really sorry to hear that. I have not lost a parent. But my father (when he 38 or so) lost his father. Car accident as well, drunk driver hit him.

    I was little at the time, but I remember how devastated he was. I can't tell you how he coped with it (don't remember, I was young) but I can tell you that time heals these things, as it did for my father. Oh, and sucked pretty bad because I never got to meet my grandfather.

    RIP to your father
     
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    Last edited: Mar 4, 2012
  3. Virus1

    Virus1 Supreme Member

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    I lost my dad about 3 years ago.

    We were close.

    It was very hard at the beginning... and it eventually got better.

    but I still miss him.

    I now remember more of the advice he gave me than ever.


    Sorry to hear about your loss.

    Your dad was way too young to pass.
     
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  4. Kickflip

    Kickflip BANNED BANNED

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    Haven't lost a parent myself, but since my mothers dad passed away, we have been very open about the subject. All I can say, is live your life to the fullest. I am sure that is what they would have wanted more than anything. Enjoy every day, do what makes you happy, try to do things you know would make them proud.
     
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  5. abhi007

    abhi007 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    hey man sorry to hear but i am sure he wants to see you making it BIG dont disappoint him.
     
  6. hillsb

    hillsb Registered Member

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    Sorry for your loss. My mother is 48 and has been battling cancer for 11 years and she is just getting worse and worse. Just watching her get worse is hard enough, and recently her bad luck has doubled. She just had a stroke in both eyes rendering her blind. Watching her die like this is bad enough, I really don't know how I will cope when she passes away since she is my only parent and a very close friend.
     
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  7. Khann

    Khann Newbie

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    Lost my mother when I was 14. I coped by actually thinking about what happened, and started understanding how delicate life was. I then distracted myself completely and focused on things that only would further my progress in life.

    I think the best thing you can do is understand what happened, accept it, and be grateful for when he was around.

    I'm extremely sorry for your loss.
     
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  8. abhi007

    abhi007 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    sorry to hear that some of the guys here lost their beloved ones you guys bought tears in my eyes.
     
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  9. BabyMonster

    BabyMonster Power Member

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    My dad has given up to cancer last Feb 15. Its now 18 days since he died.. I couldn't still believe it happened and am having a hard time to cope up. Sad..
     
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  10. Amsterdammer

    Amsterdammer Power Member

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    My condolences.

    Actually I did lose a parent. It hurts. Especially if you didn't get to make up some useless fight.

    I wish I could tell you it gets better soon, in my experience it doesn't do that quickly.
    The beginning was bad, the year after wasn't any better and the third year I really hit a low point.
    Please understand that I found myself much more understanding to people stepping out of this life in the first year...

    People will tell you time heals wounds but it really doesn't, it just helps you cope.
    Some wounds never heal, you just learn to deal with it. :)

    Talk about it. Even if it costs you some friends: Talk about it, just like you do here.
    It may not help them but it will help you and in the end that is what matters.

    Family members can be helpful too as they suffer just like you do but it depends on your family structure. I lost two brothers in the aftermath, one is literally out to kill me...
    That is why I suggest losing friends to help you cope with it as they can be replaced.

    It hurts, no way around it. Time will help you find a way to deal with it even if it seems impossible now.
    Just don't hide it, trauma's tend to get back to you in the last years of your life.

    Hope this helps, if not please ignore as you see fit. :)
     
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  11. pixelgrinder

    pixelgrinder Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Don't ever forget what your father taught you and always remember the good times. Make him proud, be the best person you can be.
     
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  12. Soayame

    Soayame Regular Member

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    I lost my dad when I was 17 we werent close when I was younger because he had drug problems but around the last 3 months before he died... we became pretty closed. He abandon me as a child and left my mother for her to take care of me but.... he was still my father. It still hurts now and that was 7 years ago....he was 41 when he died. Yes it will get easy its just sad... i wonder what would had happen if he wouldnt had died? Would be became really good friends like what was happening....? Now I will never know. Im really sorry for your lost... its hard but you have to move on, thats what your father would want.. he wouldnt want his son to be in pain because he died! So remember the good and bad memories but try to be positive and slowly let go..
     
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  13. WizGizmo

    WizGizmo Super Moderator Staff Member Premium Member

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    Sorry to hear about that. :(

    My father passed away in 2008 and my mother passed away in 2009.

    I miss them both terribly, but I keep them alive in my heart . . .

    "Wiz"
     
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  14. daniellephoto

    daniellephoto Junior Member

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    I lost my father in 2008. It is very hard at first. It gets easier with time though. I still miss him like crazy.

    My heart goes out to you.
     
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  15. shortguy014

    shortguy014 Junior Member

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    Hey man I'm really sorry to hear about that man. There are no words that can describe how you are feeling right now and all I can really say is that it gets better.

    However I am fortunate enough to have both of my parents alive and well (even though one of them is an alcoholic), but they support me and make me feel great all the time.

    About 1 and a half years ago however I lost my best friend. I was playing COD with him on PC (2010) over skype and we were having a good time and just doing what teenagers do. Next day I rock up to school and I see girls crying everywhere and everyone is distressed. There is that awkward period where you don't want to ask anyone because you know its either going to be really shit or it will just make them upset. But I don't know, that friend I was laughing with like 12 hours ago had commit suicide. It makes me wonder about alot of things in my life, and how people put up so many facades and make it look like everything is okay but it really isnt. I'm sure you will get past all of this, I know I did.

    Wish you all the best and may your father rest in peace.
     
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  16. smeagol22

    smeagol22 Newbie

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    I lost my father two weeks before my 18th birthday in 1999. Right now your feeling a huge hole in your chest, an emptiness that no earthly remedy can cure. Time will heal this and in time the pain will subside and you will be able to make it through the tough times. My Dad was just 49 when he passed. I'll say a prayer for you.

    Réquiem ætérnam dona ei.
     
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  17. brainstorm1

    brainstorm1 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    I luckily haven't lost a parent, but I've lost a very young uncle. It was my dad's brother and he was 42 I believe. I knew him and remembered him. He was the youngest and "coolest" of my dad's brothers. I always had fun with him and I hate the fact I will never see him again and my sisters will not either.

    Worse is the way he died. My father's family all dealt with severe alcoholism. My dad got out about 15 years ago and has been clean in AA ever since, but his younger brother couldn't do it. He was divorced, hurt (back injury), and didn't have a whole lot to live for. At the end of the day the alcohol just took too much of a toll on his body.

    My dad had it tough after the death. It was his younger brother after all. I think my dad got a little more spiritual about it. We talked about what he used to do and told some stories. My dad grew up in a house with three boys so he had tons of crazy stories about him.

    It's tough to lose someone, but try to remember the best things and it might be easier. I wish you the best of luck. I can't imagine how you must feel.
     
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  18. argh11

    argh11 Regular Member

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    I lost my father a few years ago. It is hard to lose a parent and will be for a while. Try to keep good thoughts and memories close to you and remember all of the good things you had together.

    You will go through some tough times(anger, sadness, lost feelings) but remember to keep making good memories with family and friends too. You will eventually get to a place where you are OK with life and everything that has happened.

    Keep strong, we are thinking of you!

    -argh11
     
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  19. canwedothis

    canwedothis Registered Member

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    Yes, I lost my Mother a little over a month ago so I know what you are going through.

    I personally cope with my grief through my faith.

    Grief is such a personal experience that no two people experience the same things. No one can really tell you what is going to work for you to get you through it. There are no rules. Just do what feels right for yourself. There really are so many things that people can suggest for you, but just do what you feel you need to at the time. Some days will be better than other days.

    One thing I will suggest is to not hold in your grief - even to be brave for other family members as that can have a negative impact on you. Let it out if you need to. Also talk to friends, family if you feel you need to talk as that does help. And keep good memories close to your heart of your loved one.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as I know first hand and very recently myself that this is a very difficult time for you.
     
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  20. silentthunder

    silentthunder Power Member

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    OP sorry for your lost. Based on my experience I hope you don't do what my cousin warned me not to do. Try and kill the pain with drugs and alcohol. Because when you sober some day or some year your life will be a tragedy plus the mourning you never dealt with.

    Never new my dad so that's a lost I've had since birth. Big lost. Lost my mother to cancer after a long illness. She was young and so was I. Time heals all wounds and so does hard work.
     
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