Hey Ana,
Thanks for sharing really fun stories
Hey! Happy to see that you like it. I thought that everyone forgot about this post, for now, I post mainly in FB and Insta, but why not - I can share my new idea here too
Awkward Pieces of Advice for Affiliates
The usual working day, you are doing your everyday tasks – checking the stat, activating new affiliates, and suddenly BOOM! You get a kick from one affiliate. Now you trying to calm down, breath deep, read psychology book about how to communicate with such…people. And you are thinking how to answer and to be polite with such… affiliate.
I got an idea: when I was a child I had one book it named “Awkward Pieces of Advice”, it contained a lot of situations that described child’s everyday behavior, but from an opposite, terribly wrong way, which looked like absolutely illogical things but posted like a joke. So, I thought “what if I created the same, but for affiliates? Maybe it will help us understand each other better?”
So, let’s try and see how it goes! I represent you “Awkward Pieces of Advice for Affiliates”!
Part 1. “How to activate your account fast or how to turn you Affiliate manager into a gremlin”
1) At first, start a conversation with a complaint “hey, why my account is still not active?”, “when will you activate my account”, “I cannot log in”, “what do u want/ what do you need?” - of course, it will help to start a polite and productive conversation and your manager will be happy to help you. Remember – everyone loves twerps!
2) Be brave, be impudent! Start calling your manager if he|she doesn’t answer you longer than 10 seconds, write them “hey you!”, add to any answer “will you activate me|activate me pls|activate my account”, send tons of symbols “????” or “!!!!” without any explanation. Everyone likes impolite nervous people, so - you are on the right way! Well done!
3) Send tons of questions to your AM before activation, the perfect option - if you start your conversation this way: “which offers do you have?”, “what Adcombo does?”, “What is CPA?”, “Do you have this offers? Why not?”, “How to run offers?”, “Who are you?”
It doesn’t matter that you can see all the basic info on the company’s site, it doesn’t matter that you can find tons of info on the Internet or ask colleagues about this. Who cares? You’re a Top-affiliate, or future top. Reading, learning – it’s not your way, leave it! And don’t have to answer the manager’s question, no no and no! You’re future IamAttila, Tim Bert and Charles Ngo – you shouldn’t give any info about yourself. Who do they think they are?
4) Remind yourself about paragraph 2 and go to the next level – start arguing “huh, you ask too many questions! Yes, I didn’t answer on all of them, but what the hell? I have a Peerfly account, they activated me immediately” (Everyone who has Peerfly account, understand that’s not true), “I’ll write your boss that you didn’t activate me, you will be fired”, “stupid network, stupid rules”, “you treat me!” (of course, 3 simple questions about your traffic and experience is too much), “I'll kill you” – (man, It’s not a joke it’s a bad idea to threaten this way). After that, be sure, that manager will activate you immediately. Nobody wants to get killed.
5) Tell your manager that he|she shouldn’t do their job, follow the rules, the manager works for you, he should do what you want!
6) Remember the manger is an enemy or your slave! You should talk to him|her this way! Be rude, write awful words, arguing like a devil, call him – it is just a stupid couch potato if you don’t kick them every second they lose a focus and forget about you, but as you know from the previous point – all managers in the WORLD work for you! Use it!
7) Don’t forget to use as much rudeness as you can, check the previous point – manager is a stupid coach potato, he doesn’t understand what you are talking about in any case!
8) Finally, when he|she asks you about screenshot, be smart, be original – you should tell that you are riding on the bike and cannot do that right now, the pig ate your screenshots, your Internet doesn’t allow you to do that – or start arguing again! Don’t forget about point 1 – be brave, be impudent!
Finally, your account has been activated, your Affiliate Manager is your slave, all private offers in the world are opened for you and money comes to you like a river.
In part 2 we will discuss how to work to become a Top affiliate within several seconds
