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Merry Xmas everyone.
So I have been offline for a couple of weeks.
Just got back here today and thought it might be a good idea to share my experience.

I have been battling with depression for as long as I could remember, and although I have been plodding along with it as much as I could, thinking I would get over it with time I didn't know it could be a symptom of an underlying problem.

Being hard of hearing and limited on what I could do, I had thought it was the reason I was always down and suicidal.

I was always moody and melancholic, always tired and thus couldn't get a lot done. I would make plans that are realistic enough and could be easily achieved with the resources available but I wouldn't be able to carry it out. Knowing that I'm capable of being better, and could do better, I believed I was lazy so I loathe myself.
I was miserable.

I would always cry because it feels like I was failing myself, my loved ones and I was failing God.
There were periods I would cry for months and pray God to help me. It appears to always get worse than getting better.

It did get better, though it actually got really worse before reprieve came.

Started having constipation, then my muscles were twitching, cramping, pin and middle pains, extreme tiredness, chills and fainting so I was hospitalized.

After being stabilized, turned out I was suffering from Hypothyroidism. A condition I was later told I had from birth. It was the cause of my challenges. I was treated and now on thyroid replacement medication for the thyroid issue, and a selective serotonin reputable inhibitors medication for acute depression.

I am feeling better now than anytime I could remember. Though the doctors are saying that I should pray that the nerves damage isn't permanent or at worst that it wasn't caused by multiple sclerosis which could be a result of long standing untreated hypothyroidism.

I'm thankful to God that at least I'm feeling better now than anytime I could remember. So I have just volunteered to pastor a small congregation here.
It's a little job with a monthly allowance of $57 though it comes with a good accommodation.
Not much but I'm not in it for the money. Just something to engage myself and try to help others a bit.

I would be resume online hustling a couple of months to come but for now I'm just happy here.

Sharing this for those who are hard on themselves. Maybe your struggles are not really due to laziness or your fault.... or maybe it's a combination of all of them.. Do yourself a favor and find out.

NB.
Wrote this on a 4in Screen and didn't proof read or edit it. Pardon my errors.


Merry Xmas again and a prosperous New Year.
 
If I were in your position, I would be more thankful to the doctors who helped to recover than to the God who gave hyperthyroidism by birth.

Anyway get well soon and wish you a great year ahead.
 
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Thank God you overcame depression and as someone said above; it kills.
Good luck with your new adventure of pastoring a 'small' congregation. The Lord is your strength!
 
Mate Wish you getting better , but you have to dig deep also into psychological reasons (90% of depressions are psych related ) the drugs and pills may make u feel better for a while but i doubt it will eliminate it .
 
Oh what a sad story and tough journey. Happy New year, and my best wishes to get back on your feet asap.
 
If it keeps you happy, nothing matters more. Best wishes, bud.
 
Money is the cure for depression. Also, don't forget that you can do black hat stuff offline, too, if online things aren't great! Life is to good to die, from stupid things.
 
Money is the cure for depression. Also, don't forget that you can do black hat stuff offline, too, if online things aren't great! Life is to good to die, from stupid things.
black hat stuff offline? I'm hooked, tell me more
 
black hat stuff offline? I'm hooked, tell me more
White Hat, Black Hat / Good, Bad / Legal, Illegal. I'm not surprised Google is playing us with BERT. It's smarter than average people.
 
I'm happy for you mate, enjoy your rest of your life.
 
L-Theanine or Ashawaganda or Gaba or http
Does help with depression and anxiety

Our brain is a machine. If it sudden depressed meaning it broke down and it need to be fix.
 
It is good that your are feeling better. Good luck and I hope to see you star in a successful journey somewhere in the future :)
 
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