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Agreement before sex

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by black20, Sep 23, 2014.

  1. black20

    black20 Registered Member

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    Due to the current and often false allegations of women against men, please find enclosed herewith a copy of 'Agreement Before SEX' for your safe sex ride and to avoid rape charges thereafter :
    _____AGREEMENT BEFORE SEX_____
    I, __________________________, the undersigned female partner (herein referred to as the 'screwee'), about to enjoy sexual intercourse with _______________ _______________ (hereafter referred to as the 'screwer'), certify as follows :
    1. THAT I am above the lawful age of consent.
    2. THAT I am not under the influence of any narcotic substance(s).
    3. THAT the aforementioned screwer did not use any force, threats, coercion or promises to influence me.
    4. THAT I, the screwee, am in no fear of him whatsoever.
    5. THAT I do not expect or wish to marry him.
    6. THAT I do not know if he is married or not and I do not care.
    7. THAT I am neither asleep nor drunk.
    8. THAT I am entering this relationship with him; because I love it and want it as much as he does.
    9. THAT in the event that I receive full and 'delicious' satisfaction, which I expect, declare in advance, the capacity and willingness for further participation as soon as time permits.
    10. THAT I will not act as a witness against him nor will I file charges against him in the event that :
    a) I contract a sexual disease,
    b) I become pregnant,
    c) I feel that he is violating any legislation - moral, legal or
    otherwise.
    SIGNED BEFORE JUMPING INTO BED ON THIS __________ DAY OF (MONTH)_____________________
    (YEAR) ___________ AT ____________ __________________________________
    Signature of Screwee :



     
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  2. srb888

    srb888 Elite Member

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    ...

    That if partner begins gasping|maoning before act then I should be allowed to read BHW during and after the act...
     
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  3. Trepanated

    Trepanated Supreme Member

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    This agreement is a brilliant idea.

    It's the perfect sign to women that they should avoid the guy who is carrying it.
     
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  4. The Scarlet Pimp

    The Scarlet Pimp Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    11. i will not tell everybody about it afterwards!
    (the "tiger woods" addendum)
     
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  5. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    What if I come across a woman carrying it?
     
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  6. Trepanated

    Trepanated Supreme Member

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    Sign it, get it witnessed, photocopy it and call a cab.
     
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  7. Conor

    Conor Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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  8. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Easiest way to avoid all this is just make sure she liked it a lot the first time. Like Abraham Lincoln once said "I've got the magic stick, I know if I can hit once, I can hit twice." Words to live by.
     
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  9. webmaze

    webmaze Registered Member

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    :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D .. Agreement for Sex?? Lol.. I need an affiliate for this.. :D
     
  10. somedevil

    somedevil Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Does this still work ? OP pls answer
     
  11. srb888

    srb888 Elite Member

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    But what's the guarantee the JV will still end well, or even will begin well...?

    Also, didn't read any clause about what styles are allowed and which aren't.

    How deep one can dive, or how hard one can... well... you know...

    Also, can all that be read and signed after the act? :)
     
  12. srb888

    srb888 Elite Member

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    Also, will the agreement need any enforced DNA signatures on it? You know what kind...

    [​IMG]

    Keep cuming with better ideas, guys, and all are Welcum! :D lol.

    But can the agreement also be used for online encounters? We already have one case of ewh0ring-blackmail malpractice on hands in another thread... got to cover that angle too.
     
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    Last edited: Sep 23, 2014
  13. HoNeYBiRD

    HoNeYBiRD Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    only if you don't keep all your eggs in one basket (or in your pants) and if you add your own twists to it, please note: the whole process needs to be done by you, shouldn't be outsourced, once when you have the winner formula, rinse and repeat
     
  14. Moto801

    Moto801 Senior Member

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    Are you confusing Abraham Lincoln with the rapper 50 cent?
     
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  15. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Personally, I wouldn't get sucked into this too prematurely. One might find himself cumming onto a hard patch without the necessary protection in place. For example, who will be your target clientele? I'd be too scared of blowing it because of the load on my mind that would come from committing to such a cocky business model.

    Vagina.
     
  16. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Did I? my mistake. you know it's so easy to get their mixtapes confused, I think they used the same ghost writer.
     
  17. Moto801

    Moto801 Senior Member

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    No worries I get those two mixed up all the time. Lincoln has much better beats though IMO.
     
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  18. iamsolo

    iamsolo Power Member

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    What an idea sirjee!!
     
  19. lord1027

    lord1027 Elite Member

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    I can imagine, you take a girl to your place, seduce her, things start to get hot, then all of a sudden you take out this form and ask her t to sign it. What a way put her in the mood :)
     
  20. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    I think you could successfully use it as an icebreaker if you had big balls and charm.