1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Add your best NEW jokes 100 words or less only please.

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by MaxWeber, Aug 26, 2010.

  1. MaxWeber

    MaxWeber Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2008
    Messages:
    267
    Likes Received:
    5,133
    Please feel free to add yours, but please keep it to 100 words maximum if possible ;)

    A few decent jokes / one liners to relax / laugh to.....


    "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."

    "I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone.":D

    "I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them."

    "I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.":rolleyes:

    "Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day.";)
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  2. DieselWeasel

    DieselWeasel Newbie

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2009
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    11
    How do you turn a fox into a cow? Marry it! :p
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 2
  3. nvcowboy

    nvcowboy Newbie

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2009
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    134
    Occupation:
    Offline/Online Consultant
    Location:
    3rd Rock from the Sun
    Secret Lawyer Code ....

    You have to take the LSAT (legal scholastic aptitude test) to get into law school but you don't learn what the REAL meaning of LSAT is until you're a lawyer.

    LSAT stands for the Lying, Shitty, Asshole Test - once you pass it you get to become one.

    BTW, I wrote this myself - guess I met a LSA who passed the test.

    Enjoy.
     
  4. pokeey

    pokeey Newbie

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2010
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2
    What's the difference between a blonde and a freezer?

    A freeze won't fart when you pull your meat out of it! :loco:
     
  5. hateandbreak

    hateandbreak Supreme Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2010
    Messages:
    1,393
    Likes Received:
    1,528
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Amidst the INTL Traffic
    Difference Between a Blonde and Mosquito? Mosquito's stop sucking when you slap em xD
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  6. philionaire

    philionaire Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2010
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    180
    Location:
    Vanland
    How do you get a fat chick into bed?

    Piece o' cake!
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  7. xplicit

    xplicit BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2008
    Messages:
    1,119
    Likes Received:
    1,053
    A dyslexic man walks into a BRA
     
  8. Sanitarium

    Sanitarium Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2008
    Messages:
    312
    Likes Received:
    648
    Occupation:
    I guess making love to your eyes since you're read
    Location:
    In your mind.
    the 10 seconds you spend ( after taking a dump) pondering your next move when you're on the toilet and there is no toilet paper.
     
  9. gonzomcribbinz

    gonzomcribbinz Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2008
    Messages:
    358
    Likes Received:
    618
    Occupation:
    Getting paid.
    Fuck you, all my jokes are at least 150 words.
     
  10. ddcash99

    ddcash99 Newbie

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2010
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    10
    A guy with a black eye is waiting for a train and sees another guy with a black eye sit down and wait too. After a while he asks "I gotta ask how did you get your black eye?" "Well I went to order my ticket and the hot blonde behind the desk had large breasts and I slipped 'One ticket to Titsburgh", so she hit me. And you?" 'Funny, almost the exact same thing! I was at home having dinner with my wife and went to ask 'would you please pass the salt', but ended up saying 'You f-ing b*** you ruined my life!"
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2010
  11. GreenGoblin

    GreenGoblin BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2008
    Messages:
    1,493
    Likes Received:
    2,564
    what's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer, a prostitute can wash her crack and resell it.
     
  12. MaxWeber

    MaxWeber Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2008
    Messages:
    267
    Likes Received:
    5,133
    If your jokes are that funny, then share them please.... we will make exceptions4u
    :apple:
     
  13. iamsgf

    iamsgf Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2008
    Messages:
    307
    Likes Received:
    268
    what's an old man's sex life and a vintage car got in common?
    .
    ..
    ...
    They both need to be started by hand!
     
  14. Javachip

    Javachip Registered Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2010
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    40
    Occupation:
    Enchanter
    Location:
    Your Inbox
    If you think life is bad... How would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You only get eaten once. It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys. But worst of all. The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother. So cheer up... Your life ain't that bad!
     
  15. Javachip

    Javachip Registered Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2010
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    40
    Occupation:
    Enchanter
    Location:
    Your Inbox
    A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?" She says, "What's that?" He says, "We go to my house and f**k, and then you disappear."