A Former Cop Explains How To Avoid Getting Arrested

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Asif WILSON Khan, Nov 8, 2013.

  1. Asif WILSON Khan

    Asif WILSON Khan OG Blue Tick Exec VIP Jr. VIP

    Nov 10, 2012
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    Fun Lovin' Criminal
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    Dale Carson is a defense attorney in Jacksonville, Florida, as well as an alumnus of the Miami-Dade Police Department and the FBI. So he knows a thing or two about how cops determine who to hassle, and what all of us can do to not be one of those people. Carson has distilled his tips into a book titled "Arrest-Proof Yourself," now in its second edition. It is a legitimately scary book ? 369 pages of insight on the many ways police officers profile and harass the people on their beat in an effort to rack up as many arrests as possible.
    "Law enforcement officers now are part of the revenue-gathering system," Carson tells me in a phone interview. "The ranks of cops are young and competitive, they?re in competition with one another and intra-departmentally. It becomes a game. Policing isn?t about keeping streets safe, it?s about statistical success. The question for them is, 'Who can put the most people in jail?'"
    Which would make the question for you and me, "How can we stay out of jail?" Carson's book does a pretty good job of explaining ? in frank language ? how to beat a system that's increasingly predatory.
    Be Invisible to Police

    Carson has four golden rules, the first of which is, "If police can't see you, they can't arrest you." The simplest application of this concept is that if you plan on doing something illegal, you should do it in the privacy of your home. Yes, you can be arrested while at home, but you can't be profiled sitting in your living room, and profiling is what you're trying to avoid.
    The rule extends to activities that are perfectly legal. "In 21st century America," he writes, "as long as you're not committing a crime, you should be able to wear the wildest clothes you want, roam the streets when you feel like it, and lean on a light post or hang out at some wild club if it amuses you.
    Amanda Bynes knows a thing or two about traveling incognito.

    "Should" is the key word. In reality, cops love hassling people who stand out, even though it's not illegal to, say, have a Buckeyes bumper sticker that looks like a pot leaf. If you drive a sports car or a lowrider, you're more likely to attract a cop's attention than if you drive, say, a gray Honda Civic. Same goes for clothes, hairstyles, tone and volume of voice. Be boring. So try to blend in. Beat cops who patrol the same routes day after day are "incredibly attuned to incongruity." But don't be too reactive when you see cops.
    "Police are visual predators," Carson writes. "Any sudden change in motion, speed, direction or behavior immediately attracts their attention." That means even if you're doing something you think might attract a cop's attention, quickly doing something else will attract even more attention. "Don't alter the pattern," Carson advises. "Keep on keeping on."
    Also, if you can help it, don't go out after dark.
    What if I can't be invisible to police?

    If police want to hassle you, they're going to, even if you're following the above tips as closely as possible. What then? Every interaction with a police officer entails two contests: one for "psychological dominance" and one for "custody of your body." Carson advises giving in on the first contest in order to win the second. Is that belittling? Of course. "Being questioned by police is insulting," Carson writes. "It is, however, less insulting than being arrested. What I'm advising you to do when questioned by police is pocket the insult. This is difficult and emotionally painful."
    Winning the psychological battle requires you to be honest with cops, polite, respectful, and resistant to incitement. "If cops lean into your space and blast you with coffee-and-stale-donut breath, ignore it," Carson writes. Same goes for if they poke you in the chest or use racial slurs. "If you react, you'll get busted."
    Sorry lady, that smile will get you nowhere.

    Make eye contact, but don't smile. "Cops don't like smiles." Always tell the truth. "Lying is complicated, telling the truth is simple."
    He also says you should be dignified ? unless it looks like you're about to lose both the psychological contest and the one for custody of your body. In which case, you should be strategically pitiful.
    First off, you should ask for a notice to appear as an alternative to being arrested. You still have to go before a judge, but you can go under your own power without first going to jail. Carson says the least degrading way to get a cop to issue you a notice in lieu of arresting you is to tell them that you're not a hardened criminal and that being arrested (and having your mugshot taken) is going to impact your employment, education and/or family.
    And if that doesn't work? It's debasement time.
    Start with crying. Bawl hard while begging for a notice (the option here is a notice or jail, not notice/jail or getting off scot free). "Don't waste time worrying about what your friends will think," Carson says. "If they're with you, they're getting arrested too." If they're not with you, they won't know.
    If crying fails, and you're willing to do whatever it takes to not go to jail, Carson advises you to "foul yourself so that the police will consider setting you free in order not to get their cruiser nasty." Vomit on your clothes. Defecate and urinate in your pants. Then let the officers know what you've done. If they arrest you anyway, you'll get cleaned and reclothed at the jail.
    Reasonable things you should never do

    If you're driving too fast and see a police car up ahead, don't hit the brakes. "If you suddenly hit the brakes," Carson writes, "cops in front of you will see your front end dip, a tip-off that you were speeding." Don't drive perfectly, or too slow. Don't slouch or put too much heavy stuff in your trunk, causing your car to ride low.
    If you're a dude, and you want to roll around town with your fellow dudes, be prepared for a stop.
    "When cops see four young males in a car, they immediately wonder if this is a crew of criminals out to do a job." If you're going to ride four deep, have one member of your car wear a highly visible item of clothing indicating what you do for a living. For instance, if you're all construction workers car-pooling on the way home from a job site, someone in the car should wear a hard hat. Seriously.
    Another reasonable thing you should never do? Allow a cop to search your car. There are many loopholes that allow cops to search your car without probable cause or a warrant, but Carson advises you to say no every time. You should still follow all the rules of a traffic stop ? keep hands where cops can see them, give them your paperwork, get out of the car if they ask you to ? but never let them search. Always, always, always say no (politely).
  2. Bostoncab

    Bostoncab Elite Member

    Dec 31, 2009
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    pain in the ass cabbie
    have the fastest car?
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  3. HelloInsomnia

    HelloInsomnia Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP

    Mar 1, 2009
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    For minor stuff like speeding and what not I agree with him when he says always tell the truth.

    (Advice below is only related for those in the US)

    But for more serious things it's best to keep your mouth shut. You want to speak to a lawyer and don't answer any of the questions they ask you because you can incriminate yourself - check this out:

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  4. Aquarius.

    Aquarius. Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

    Dec 23, 2012
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    Reminds me of an old Chris Rock routine

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  5. ok888

    ok888 Elite Member

    Nov 23, 2010
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    You made my day
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  6. steelballs

    steelballs BANNED BANNED

    Dec 5, 2008
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  7. Nigel Farage

    Nigel Farage BANNED BANNED

    Feb 8, 2012
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    This article sucks ass, and so does it's author. Note the underlying premise of this turd of an article is, "It's you against all of them.", when in fact it's "all of us" period. Take her advice and they'll be loading you and your neighbors onto trains and shipping you straight to those internment camps.

    It's a stupid article on so many levels, I can't decide where to begin. How about, defining "reasonable suspicion" and "probable cause", and asking the question "Why am I being detained."

    Stupid-ass article. Dumb ass author. Doesn't know shit about shit. How about "Don't be doing the stupid shit that made the cop notice you in the 1st place. Dopers with the Jamaican flag bumper sticker deserve what they get. They should make it a crime to be retarded in public. How about, "Don't drive with expired registration or inspection stickers.", "Don't drive with obscured license plates, tail/brake/head lights out, etc...", "Don't run stop signs, and learn the fuck what a "full and complete stop" is. Don't drive a piece of shit car, don't roll up at stop signs with your Bass rattling the screws out of people's cars that are in the lane next to you. Besides Police attention, you might get shot, maybe by me. I hate you fuckers. It's a good thing I don't carry in the "area of my immediate control" otherwise I might pop a few rounds in your system, your speakers and your kneecaps.

    Doesn't anyone watch fucking COPS? Since when does a COPS arrest start off with Office Bigwoody "profiling" some respectable citizen for no other reason than they are "x"? Answer: Never. The criminal that gets looked at looks like a criminal, talks like a criminal, moves around, behaves, smells, smokes, farts and breathes just like a criminal. It ain't rocket science. Cops aren't smart. If they were smart they'd be Detectives. If all it takes to arrest a criminal retard is to to put a non-criminal retard in a uniform and give them a gun, then it CAN'T be all that difficult to avoid arrest. Please.

    I can still see the images of all of those innumerable Antwons and Shondrells exclaiming "But AH DIDN'T DO NUTHIN' !!" Uh huh. Then why did you run? "I was SKERRED SIR!" and what's this bag of meth doing in your underwear? "Ah don' know how it got ther SIR!" Who's car is that? "It's my friend's." What's your friends name? "uh..." Your friend gave you his car, but you don't know his name? etc... Exact same replicated retard, exact same arrest, over & over again. Shondrelle could probably recite his lines without the cop prompting him.

    Maybe the baggy pants and your underwear on display give the cops a clue, you fucking DUMBASS. You'd think after spending most of their teenage years getting arrested, they'd either learn how to avoid it or at least learn how to get arrested properly, like the British criminals do.

    Here's something constructive to pay attention to. Note the line with "politician's scribble". And also: "...You are a slave, the property of the politicians, without any rights at all, OR..."

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  8. Sapientis

    Sapientis Newbie

    Nov 6, 2013
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    Shouldn't be illegal to do that? lol