The arguing stuff aside, I found this to be a helpful thread and do hope Darren that you decide to continue with this journey as I and I'm sure others are interested in seeing how you get on.
I've been interested in google apps for a while (purely for money, I can't really stand using them myself haha) and this has sparked some ideas to compliment other things I wanted to try.
I found appinventor and leadbolt, no idea if they're any good I'll need to look into them later but posting here anyway in-case it's useful to others.
Good luck to you and thanks.