The gold standard here is Gomez. You have to pay for it because it's a commercial tool, but it measures latency from the "last mile". In other words they pull pages from your site from network points across the country to simulate actual load time to end users. And they have a nice alerting...
If you're new to building websites I would recommend that you start with a framework. Something like wordpress allows you to get a basic site up and off the ground in 15 minutes. Then you can extend things in PHP and at the database level incrementally rather than doing everything from...
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