I'm So Not Ready For This!!

[ukescuba]

to add to that method - trust me on this one i have first hand experience right now! lol

3A) open up the clean diaper and place it under the baby before taking off the old one... its handy to er catch stuff just in case and its quicker/easier to put on if you dont need to use it for cleaning up!

 

[saulyd]

I can see I'm a bit late, so you probably have the problem resolved. But for next time, here is my guide on how to change a shitty diaper:

1. Put a towel or baby blanket on the area you will be changing the diaper, usually a bed or the floor.

2. Place the wet wipes next to the baby and open them so they are ready to be grabbed.

3. Lay the baby on his/her back on the towel or blanket.

4. Unfasten the diaper on both sides.

5. Now this is the tricky part. Simultaneously lift the baby's legs slightly, elevating the butt, as you open the front of the diaper and with the inside front of the diaper which is clean, you wipe downward, wiping as much shit as you can while sliding the inside front of the diaper down the shitty area. Raise the baby's bottom slightly in the air, as you pass the front of the diaper down undeneath the butt, so that the external side of the front of the diaper will now be underneath the baby's bottom. It's important to wipe as much shit up as you can in this step.

6. Set the baby's bottom back down on top of the external side of the front of the diaper.

7. Grab one wipe at a time and proceed to wipe up all the shit. Use as many wipes as necessary. Place the used wipes in a pile, being careful not to get shit on anything.

8. When the baby's underside is clean, remove the soiled diaper, and place all of the soiled wet wipes into the top-center of it. Then wrap the diaper up into a ball, with the soiled wet wipes inside, and fasten it with the velcro-like straps.

9. Grab a clean diaper. Unwrap/open it. The side with the wide straps goes on the bottom.

10. If the baby has a rash or inflammation, apply ointment, if available.

11. Lift up the baby's butt by the leggs.

12. Place the correct side of the diaper under the baby's butt. Make sure that the front and back side are correctly proportioned so that the diaper will fasten comfortably and securely.

13. Set the baby's bottom back down on the diaper.

14. Place the front side of the diaper onto the baby's front area and fasten the side straps.

Almost forgot, if there is a woman in the house, she should be the one to change the diapers.

That's it.

You forgot to ad the, "clothespin to your nose part!" That stuff can get down right TOXIC!

 

[GrotesqueGoddess]

AH! Make ABSOLUTELY sure you wipe a baby girl from front to back, not back to front... otherwise you risk giving her an infection.

 

[professional20]

AH! Make ABSOLUTELY sure you wipe a baby girl from front to back, not back to front... otherwise you risk giving her an infection.

hehe yeah thanks for the advice. I actually learned that one from some MTV show a while back. Who woulda knew eh!

 

[redtide1969]

lol...glad you made it through mate. The worst part is when the crap ends up on their legs and they start flayling those legs all around.

incoming!...

 

[professional20]

lol...glad you made it through mate. The worst part is when the crap ends up on their legs and they start flayling those legs all around.

incoming!...

MAN!! she wouldn't sit still!!!!!!!!! lol good thing it wasnt my first time and I didnt shit my hands! lol

 

[ironlifter76]

Hey professional20,

A little advice from somone who's 4 kids are all grown and have kids of their own. Seems like I remember something about a fire hose and a hydrant out side. Can't remember all the details, but the neighbors seeing a 2yr. supported in the air by a water spout from a fire hose seemed to raise concerns. Not sure exactly why 'cuz the kid was enjoying it. By the time all was said and done it was one clean child and they loved it when Dad did the babychasing 'cuz they got to go swimming without a pool. BTW, one of my favorite things to do when they were young was to play with the baby...bouncing them up and down in my arms and after about 2 minutes pass them off to a well-liked relative and wait. OOPS...upchuck time.

Anyway,glad you did your doody...oops, I mean duty with the child. Wishing you the best.

Regards,
ironlifter76:coffee:

 

[Jackalakus]

Hell I'm a dad... I've probably changed about 10,000 lbs of shit by now..

Sometimes it gets stuck in my finger-nails so I just chew it off...

 

[IntensE]

outsource it to india

 

[raz777]

read this ebook :

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Bringing Up Baby

http://books.google.com/books?id=kSWsdjkNBxEC&pg=PA53&lpg=PA53&dq=change++diaper+guide&source=bl&ots=15yYL8VTsP&sig=y-c9sVAM6dnd9JLmS6DznHiLq7c&hl=iw&ei=ZDdmSuCyE5SqnQOz_KX4Dw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=8

or watch this video:

http://video.about.com/babyparenting/Change-a-Diaper.htm

also there is an option to do it in a blackhat way but i will not discuss it on public, if you want you can pm me.

 

[redtide1969]

Hell I'm a dad... I've probably changed about 10,000 lbs of shit by now..

Sometimes it gets stuck in my finger-nails so I just chew it off...

lmao...I bet your significant other loves that!


Umm, hey honey...you want to pick that shit out of your teeth before I kiss you?


:dancing:

 

[mosoi148]

Wow, nice guide.

That is exactly how I used to change my daughter. With of course what GrotesqueGoddess said.

She's 3 now so I only have to deal with random accidents these days.

Still not fun, but at least its not all the time...and its nice not to have to spend money on diapers anymore.

I can see I'm a bit late, so you probably have the problem resolved. But for next time, here is my guide on how to change a shitty diaper:

1. Put a towel or baby blanket on the area you will be changing the diaper, usually a bed or the floor.

2. Place the wet wipes next to the baby and open them so they are ready to be grabbed.

3. Lay the baby on his/her back on the towel or blanket.

4. Unfasten the diaper on both sides.

5. Now this is the tricky part. Simultaneously lift the baby's legs slightly, elevating the butt, as you open the front of the diaper and with the inside front of the diaper which is clean, you wipe downward, wiping as much shit as you can while sliding the inside front of the diaper down the shitty area. Raise the baby's bottom slightly in the air, as you pass the front of the diaper down undeneath the butt, so that the external side of the front of the diaper will now be underneath the baby's bottom. It's important to wipe as much shit up as you can in this step.

6. Set the baby's bottom back down on top of the external side of the front of the diaper.

7. Grab one wipe at a time and proceed to wipe up all the shit. Use as many wipes as necessary. Place the used wipes in a pile, being careful not to get shit on anything.

8. When the baby's underside is clean, remove the soiled diaper, and place all of the soiled wet wipes into the top-center of it. Then wrap the diaper up into a ball, with the soiled wet wipes inside, and fasten it with the velcro-like straps.

9. Grab a clean diaper. Unwrap/open it. The side with the wide straps goes on the bottom.

10. If the baby has a rash or inflammation, apply ointment, if available.

11. Lift up the baby's butt by the leggs.

12. Place the correct side of the diaper under the baby's butt. Make sure that the front and back side are correctly proportioned so that the diaper will fasten comfortably and securely.

13. Set the baby's bottom back down on the diaper.

14. Place the front side of the diaper onto the baby's front area and fasten the side straps.

Almost forgot, if there is a woman in the house, she should be the one to change the diapers.

That's it.

 

[turner]

Hahahaha ......

You made my day professional 20 ... that was really funny,

well it looks like you got all the right advice you needed.

If you still need the video... we'll trade

Hahahahaha

Turner

 

[professional20]

Lol thanks guys for all the advice. Hopefully I wont have to babysit again any time soon!

 

[youngguy]

Hey professional20, Can I take these methods to sell on DP $1000 valued - Title: How to raise 100k monkeys in minutes

 

[blackmagiquellc]

Scale and Outsource ​

 

[tonlilaz]

I'm here babysitting my 2 nieces and nephew and my baby niece just shat the bed while I was trying to change her diaper!

Where's a youtube instructional video when you need one eh!


Nevermind having kids for now. Maybe some other time or life.

you never change a baby on a bed

 

[jake3340]

Rinse and repeat

 

[professional20]

Rinse and repeat

Lol well I definitely had to rinse that one. Definitely not repeating though.

 

[jake3340]

IM is just like changing a diaper lool, every related slogan can be explained in both professions