Of course! You remind me of the safety patrol back when I was 9 or 10 years old, always watching out for other members and making sure that they always do the right thing and follow the rules. After all, if nobody follows the rules set forth, what is the point of having said rules in the first place? In fact, I remember one safety patrol fourth grader, his name was Martin Small. He was a pudgy kid, had to get the biggest sized orange safety patrol belt they had.
Martin ruled those hallways with a pudgy little ham fist. Nobody was late to class, nobody was giving the skinny nerd Native American burns (got to be politically correct nowadays!) and nobody was yelling down the halls to classmates. Everything was orderly and quiet and peaceful. Until one day, Martin Small came running out of the bathroom, blubbering his eyes out. As it turns out, someone had defecated in their hand and written the words "Marty Fuked His Mom" in feces on the mirror in the little boy's room. Spelling error aside, the handwriting was extremely impressive. I swear there was even a drop shadow (I was one of the first on scene before the janitor arrived and cleaned the mess).
Of course, Martin had not engaged in coitus with his mother, and made sure that the principal was aware of this, insisting that he lived with his dad and that his mom was across the country in San Diego with her new boyfriend Miguel. Once Martin had calmed down, and his chubby belly had stopped stressing the snaps on his safety patrol belt with each heaving sob, he waddled over to his locker to regain composure. He put in his combination with purpose.
Three seconds later he started sobbing again, falling back onto his pudgy butt in the middle of the hallway. It appeared that someone had defecated in his locker as well! Right on top of the paper-bag covered English book he had painstakingly drawn himself holding a stop sign on. Poor little Martin Small. To make matters worse, as he fell, in between heaving sobs, he shouted "SOMEONE S-S-SH-SHIT IN MY LOCKUH!" He had a Boston accent, as you'd expect from the third heaviest child in the fourth grade.
The principal, who was conversing with Miss Pickler about the Marty Fuked His Mom artist, swung his head around so fast I swore it made a full rotation before fixating on the crying little red ball on the floor. "MARTIN SMALL" he had said. "NEVER USE THAT LANGUAGE IN MY SCHOOL." Without another word, he grabbed Martin by the collar of his Old Navy horizontal-striped polo and dragged him into his office.
Later that day, word spread that Martin Small himself was the poop bandit. It was a relatively easy case to solve once the clues were lined up. Only Martin was in the bathroom when he came scuttling out to announce the art display in the boy's room. Only Martin knew his locker combination. Martin was stripped of his safety patrol belt, badge, and citation book that afternoon.
@SupremeBotBuilder, you remind me a lot of Martin. Like spot on Martin Small right here on Black Hat World. Not for all the reasons I said above. You don't spread shit everywhere you go, and you definitely don't resort to tattling when things turn south. But because you, too,
always make sure that the rules are being followed, and aren't afraid to paint yourself into a corner (not with shit, but with courage) to ensure that everyone stays in line.
It is for this reason that I am going to tag some of the people who may have wronged you over the past few days, so they too can come into this thread and voice their approval of all you have done and accomplished and contributed to Black Hat World in the past few months. Because every member deserves to be told how people truly feel about them, and I don't want you to feel like a shit-painting outsider like Martin Small.
@Ste Fishkin @mickyfu @Asif WILSON Khan @PetalumaFlower @BassTrackerBoats @Leith @alwaysinvisible @Neon @t0mmy @nikchaing @Apricot come in here and tell
@SupremeBotBuilder that he is not a shit-painting outsider like Martin Small, and that he is a beautiful flower and we respect him for the time and effort he is putting into Black Hat World to keep it a safe space for all to play.
