Would you consider this a greedy, bad person?!

[snowberry]

This is probably a pointless thread, but my OCD makes me compelled to ask

I recently managed to get a PT job from an unemployment help center (hope I don't jinx this for mentioning it), 2 people there who helped me are friendly people, one of them is especially nice, and both knew about my shortcomings to getting employed (being socially inept etc). It took a while to get there but they managed at last
I've accumulated credit card debt and want to pay it off asap even though I won't be earning a lot and I'm still spending a lot, and b/c of this the following incident occurs

couple weeks ago they gave me a type of gift card/voucher to spend for work attire. it was an invoice billed back to them from the store so I didn't have to pay anything. it was for $300 and I had to spend that amount, and the lady was talking about reimbursement or whatever and I had to spend that much

b/c I've been concerned about paying my debt, I stupidly thought I'd get reimbursed the amount I spent by the UHC guys, I assumed that's what she said, that I'd get money back

I called about getting reimbursed the amount & she asked me if I spent the full $300, & that I should have b/c I won't get reimbursed for it so I had to use up the full amount credited. then she said "that amount was billed to us & you're not going to get anything from us". she sounded like she was yelling, or just raising her voice. I think she got mad but I can't tell for sure just by hearing over the phone. then she asked if I got paid yet at my job, I said not yet


Does this sound like a greedy, entitled person to you? (what I did)

I basically asked these nice people, who worked long and hard to help find me a job placement & who gave me free gas money plus free work attire, for another free handout even though that wasn't my intention, I was feeling desperate for more money and was hoping there'd be reimbursement cause she was vaguely talking about it

I feel shitty now, and like an idiot for asking something like that and not using common sense. I keep doing this retarded stuff again and again and then feel guilty afterwards, and if you're reading this you're probably laughing now and agree this was stupid. what I did is something a horrible ungrateful person would do I'm sure

Hope this wasn't a waste of time to write...how would you cope with and stop doing these irrational things and stop being socially retarded like this! I can only imagine how people really think of me even when they're being nice. I still give off weirdness vibes

 

[pewep]

Relax, sometimes people have stressful days and they act in ways they otherwise wouldn't. She already promised you the money, so it was within your right to ask for details if the instructions were unclear.

 

[PHPInjected]

Not really, you were told that you'd be reimbursed if you spent $300. So calling about being reimbursed, when you were told you would be isn't being entitled, it's just going by what people tell you.

 

[CashMoneyMantra]

I'm confused, where does the reimbursement come in if they gave you a card with the money on already? Did you pay for this out of your cash expecting to be paid back? And you have to pay $300, not a cent less?

 

[Zwielicht]

I'm confused, where does the reimbursement come in if they gave you a card with the money on already? Did you pay for this out of your cash expecting to be paid back? And you have to pay $300, not a cent less?

I think OP thought that they would reimburse their own money to him by giving him another $300 (which is a handout, not a reimbursement).

 

[CashMoneyMantra]

I think OP thought that they would reimburse their own money to him by giving him another $300 (which is a handout, not a reimbursement).

OP you really messed this one up. You're supposed to price compare everything online, spend $300 on the items with the best return, then flip them.

 

[snowberry]

I didn't have to spend exactly that amount but at least close
the thing is I only thought I would be reimbursed but it turns out I just had to use up as much of the gift card as I could b/c it WON'T be..probably would've been their loss if I didn't
I was never going to get any money back, b/c I didn't pay out of pocket it was billed directly to them yet I still assumed I'd get money...I feel idiotic now

sorry if I'm being confusing here...it wasn't an ordinary gift card, it was more of an invoice to them

 

[PHPInjected]

I didn't have to spend exactly that amount but at least close
the thing is I only thought I would be reimbursed but it turns out I just had to use up as much of the gift card as I could b/c it WON'T be..probably would've been their loss if I didn't
I was never going to get any money back, b/c I didn't pay out of pocket it was billed directly to them yet I still assumed I'd get money...I feel idiotic now

sorry if I'm being confusing here...it wasn't an ordinary gift card, it was more of an invoice to them

Why the hell would you get reimbursed for money you didn't spend?

 

[Wilson Grant Fisk]

OP, reading some of your other threads it is clear you need to get your shit together.
http://www.blackhatworld.com/blackh...e/820777-im-unemployable-what-f-ck-going.html
http://www.blackhatworld.com/blackh...ridiculously-frustrating-i-have-no-money.html
You have been given an opportunity and now need to make it work. If you screw up then you will have nobody to blame but yourself.

Go back to your co-workers and admit that you made a mistake and hadn't understood what they had said.
It would be best to be honest now rather than trying to bluff your way through.
They may issue you with another card, they may not. You will have to take that loss (the clothing allowance etc)

You can't afford to blow this opportunity, I am sure there are many people who would like to be in your shoes now.

 

[snowberry]

^ This incident happened at the unemployment center, not at my job

Still no one answered my question about how to deal with this and stop repeating this awkward behaviour again? I'm tired of feeling guilty and/or embarrassed about the things I do, living with regret and always worrying about hurting/offending people who are good to me

I don't want to have any contact with those 2 anymore. I'll never ask them again for help either

 

[CashMoneyMantra]

^ This incident happened at the unemployment center, not at my job

Still no one answered my question about how to deal with this and stop repeating this awkward behaviour again? I'm tired of feeling guilty and/or embarrassed about the things I do, living with regret and always worrying about hurting/offending people who are good to me

I don't want to have any contact with those 2 anymore. I'll never ask them again for help either

I wouldn't worry about it, probably some idiot trying to be wordy and thought reimbursement sounded official from what you said. It sounds like someone brought the confusion in but if it was you I wouldn't be shouty I'd likely just laugh. It's not their money it's their company's and they have a stick up their ass for turning up to work and getting paid which happens to involve helping people get work.

Just get over it OP, stop thinking about stuff so much. You're awkward and that's fine, embrace that shit, if someone is a total dick you can make it awkward and it will make absolutely no difference to you. Good luck causing many awkward silences and calling people out at hilariously appropriate moments.


If you're not good at gauging people I would recommend staying away from any type of edgy humour though, just a pre-emptive tip before you go to your first day.

 

[Wilson Grant Fisk]

^ This incident happened at the unemployment center, not at my job

Still no one answered my question about how to deal with this and stop repeating this awkward behaviour again? I'm tired of feeling guilty and/or embarrassed about the things I do, living with regret and always worrying about hurting/offending people who are good to me

I don't want to have any contact with those 2 anymore. I'll never ask them again for help either

It sounds like you have a number of issues and possibly need professional help. Go see you Doctor and see if he can refer you to some CBT counselling, it works for some people.

 

[lincolnave]

Hey OP,

I agree with Asif, you seem to need more help than can be provided online. CBT is one of the best treatments to help change behavior that is counter productive.

Another method, if you can't/prefer not to get outside help is a form of self therapy called Internal Family System (IFS) https://www.selfleadership.org/about-internal-family-systems.html Where you'll learn to separate the parts of your Self (capital "S"). It helped me stop getting mad (anger issues), that just me. Family members were/are relieved.

I think of it this way, when a dog gets hit by a car and has a broken leg in front of the animal hospital, it just runs away. Not having any internal (or external) language to understand (or tell somebody) what hurts or even know that they are very close to getting medical help. When "counter productive" incidents/thoughts occur, often we don't have the proper internal communication to recover immediately nor do we correct that behavior in the future. Having "mentally healthy" internal (with ourselves) and external (with others) conversations is a "tool set" to being able to correct the current incident and future behavior. That is what IFS attempts to do for people.

Remembering, that the journey to being a better person (I.E. being Appreciative, Humble and Respectful) IS all that one can ask of anyone (including ourselves). Respectfully, I enjoy focusing on the process (of being better) not a goal or failure. Life is it's own reward.

Find what kinda works, put your own twist on it and scale it out! This is BHW!

Does that answer your question? LMK

 

[Bleght]

You're not a shitty person for that, don't worry. You asked a question, you got an answer. The woman that got annoyed is not paying you from her own pocket, so just forget it. I understand you felt stupid, but get over it. You misunderstood, now you understand, end of story. No real harm done anyway.

All you can do is try to be the best version of you and move on, beating yourself up about the past is never helpful.

 

[snowberry]

To hell with counseling, been there done that. Each time I was forced into it they treated me like I'm psychotic and in need of drugs. It's very degrading, & just b/c I've also started getting panic attacks I was considered insane. It's all a scam, both counseling and psychiatry. There's nothing they told me that I don't already know about myself

I'm aware of these 'problems' of mine and being OCD, makes me obsess over these things and always wanting every situation to turn out the right way.. it's a pain. I'm not sure how easy it is to overcome these thoughts, if anyone actually managed to
I suppose I can let this thing go and forget it

yes ty for your answers

 

[Compazz]

hey op, i think your being too hard on your self, can you get your shit together first. if you keep blaming your self rather than trying to understand what your doing wrong and find a way to fix the problem you will not go any where but end up being depressed and getting your self into more dept i wish you all the best though. from the look of things you focus more on blaming your self and regrates than finding a way to move forward and make sure the same misktake dosent appen again remeber doing the same mistake twice is a choice.

 

[Wilson Grant Fisk]

To hell with counseling, been there done that. Each time I was forced into it they treated me like I'm psychotic and in need of drugs. It's very degrading, & just b/c I've also started getting panic attacks I was considered insane. It's all a scam, both counseling and psychiatry. There's nothing they told me that I don't already know about myself

I'm aware of these 'problems' of mine and being OCD, makes me obsess over these things and always wanting every situation to turn out the right way.. it's a pain. I'm not sure how easy it is to overcome these thoughts, if anyone actually managed to
I suppose I can let this thing go and forget it

yes ty for your answers

Sometimes Drug Therapy is required if you can't overcome your problems. It sounds to me like you really do need help but are refusing treatment.
You will not find the help you need on an Internet Marketing Forum.

 

[snowberry]

^ Typical American 'solution' to everything...just take a pill! Ridiculous

& I'm supposed to risk any of the 50+ side effects of those drugs, for the sake of a quick fix? Only a crazy person would still take them knowing shit like suicide/death can happen as a result. Look how many die a year from prescription drugs, but the media is silent about it. Everyone assumes it will never happen to them but...it happens to A LOT!

& all b/c people are lazy and want to take the easy way out of their problems? It's a scam!

Are you telling me I'm crazy?

 

[Wilson Grant Fisk]

^ Typical American 'solution' to everything...just take a pill! Ridiculous

& I'm supposed to risk any of the 50+ side effects of those drugs, for the sake of a quick fix? Only a crazy person would still take them knowing shit like suicide/death can happen as a result. Look how many die a year from prescription drugs, but the media is silent about it. Everyone assumes it will never happen to them but...it happens to A LOT!

& all b/c people are lazy and want to take the easy way out of their problems? It's a scam!

Are you telling me I'm crazy?

Not sure why you consider it the "American Solution" as I am in the UK but as somebody who has suffered with PTSD and Depression for over 10+ years I can tell you that anti-depressants have helped make things manageable.
Is it the right course for everybody, no and the side affects can be horrendous, but that is why you only take them under supervision from a Medical Professional.

As for you being crazy, I would definitely say that you have mental health issues and they will not disappear without help (which you won't find here).

Either that or you are a troll.

 

[pewep]

Not sure why you consider it the "American Solution" as I am in the UK but as somebody who has suffered with PTSD and Depression for over 10+ years I can tell you that anti-depressants have helped make things manageable.
Is it the right course for everybody, no and the side affects can be horrendous, but that is why you only take them under supervision from a Medical Professional.

As for you being crazy, I would definitely say that you have mental health issues and they will not disappear without help (which you won't find here).

Either that or you are a troll.

I'm sorry, I love you .